CONFIDANTE |
By Vi Moreau and Janeen Kelley Grohsmeyer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The music of the mountains
And the colors of
the rainbow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you done with her yet, Brother?"
Kronos asked, coming closer to watch, as she lay naked, bound, and helpless
on the floor.
Methos stopped, crouching beside her, his
hand lying lightly on her throat, his fingertips alongside her neck, his
thumb just under her chin. "You want a turn?"
"It's been a long time," Kronos answered,
smiling, as he always smiled, in vicious joy and anticipation. He
crouched down on the other side of her, and his hand reached out to stroke
the side of her face gently.
"A long time," Roland agreed from the shadows,
then he came closer, too. He stood at her feet and smiled as he looked
her up and down. His eyes were greedy and cold. "Where have you been,
Cassandra? You didn't tell us you were leaving."
"You shouldn't have left," Kronos said, his
hand not gentle anymore.
"You belong to me," Methos said softly, close
to her ear. "I tamed you, and I own you." This time Methos
was the one to smile. "But I'll share you with my brothers."
He lifted his head and called to Kronos and Roland.
"Who wants to have her first?"
~~~~~
Cassandra woke and did not move. The
cottage was dark, and she was alone. The windows were closed, for
the night air was chill, but she could still hear the waves on the shore,
and the wind. Winter was coming, even here, on the Isle of Lesbos.
The warm blue waters of the Mediterranean would fade to gray, and the nights
would grow longer. The darkness would come.
The darkness was here. Inside her, all
through her--it was her. She was nothing; she was dead--dead ashes from
an all-consuming firestorm of hate. Earlier, she had thought that
her hate would make her strong; her hate would see her through to the end.
It had, but now the end was here and the hate was gone, and she was left
with nothing. Nothing.
Nothing except the dreams, and the voices.
She could still hear Methos. She would always hear Methos.
He had told her never to forget, and she never would.
<I will kill you as many times as it takes
to tame you.>
Cassandra did not bother to turn on the light,
but reached over the side of the bed and groped on the floor for the bottle.
It was still there, and it still had some vodka in it.
Not enough.
She threw the empty bottle against the wall.
It crashed there and landed on the floor with the others. Cassandra
stood slowly and made her way to the kitchen area. She needed a drink.
There was no more vodka, but there was whisky,
and there was almost enough. The bottle was nearly a quarter-full.
She took a comforting swallow, welcoming the heat, then slumped to the
floor and leaned her back against the cupboards, the bottle held solidly
between her knees. It wouldn't do to spill it, not at all.
That would be a waste, and it was the last bottle she had.
<We're not finished yet, Cassandra.>
She would never forget Roland, either.
She drank some more and waited, waited for sleep. She needed to sleep,
to sleep and not dream. The dreams should have stopped. She
shouldn't have to do this anymore. Roland was dead. Kronos
was dead. The Horsemen were vanquished. The need for vengeance
was gone. The hate was gone. The anger was gone. Everything
had been burned away. She couldn't feel anything anymore, so it should
all be over, shouldn't it?
<Make love to me before I kill you.>
It wasn't.
Cassandra took another drink, idly wondering
what the date was. It had been at least a week since she had walked
away from the Horsemen in Bordeaux. Or had it been two? She
didn't know. She couldn't remember, and she didn't care. She
had come here to Lesbos, back to the temple she had called home over three
thousand years ago, hoping to find peace and comfort, maybe even forgiveness.
But the temple lay in ruins, and she had found
no peace, no comfort. There could be no forgiveness, not this time.
There was nothing. The darkness faded to the gray light of dawn before
Cassandra fell asleep, there on the kitchen floor. She dreamed that
time, too.
She woke suddenly, then curled her fist around
the bottle and brought it to her lips without even opening her eyes.
The bottle was empty, and she was alone. She tried to stand, but
managed only a crouch. Then she started to shake, and she vomited
onto the floor.
Cassandra stayed where she was, on her hands
and her knees, her head down, her eyes closed. She knew this position
well. Methos had taught it to her. Kronos and Roland had liked
it, too. Most men did.
<You stay alive, as long as you please
me.>
She stood slowly, hanging onto the cabinets
for support, then made her way out the door and to the beach. She
lay face-down in the sand, letting the cold waves wash over her, waiting
for them to carry her out to sea and drown her, so it would all be over,
at least for a while, and she could be nothing.
<I am Methos. You live to serve me.
Never forget that.>
She could not bear this anymore.
|
Elena Duran froze at the soft knock on the
dojo door, breaking the rhythm of her tai chi chuan form.
No one had knocked on any of the doors leading
into the dojo for the last four days, ever since she had shut the doors
and locked them. She hadn't spoken to anyone in all that time. She
hadn't wanted to. Elena had locked out everyone and everything, concentrating
only on her swordwork, on getting strong again through hard, mindless physical
activity, on being independent again, on being free once more.
She tried to lock out the nightmares, too,
but that she couldn't do. The *pesadillas* came every night, every day,
every time she fell asleep for more than an hour. And Claude Bethel
came with them. Every time. He owned her dreams, and he would be
in her memories forever.
The knock sounded again, louder and more insistent.
Elena abandoned her tai chi, then unlocked the door.
Her eighty-year-old housekeeper Carmela was
standing there, telephone in hand. "Mariaelena?" Carmela said softly,
looking her over, but caring rather than curious. The old Indian
woman was trying to hide her reaction, making no judgment, saying nothing,
even though she obviously wanted to.
Elena knew what she looked like, what she
smelled like. She'd seen her own thin, long-legged reflection in
the mirrors that lined one of the long walls of the former ballroom-turned-dojo,
seen herself out of her left eye. It was the only eye she had.
Claude Bethel had tortured her, starved her, and cut out her right eye.
She had seen the grimy, dark fuzz on her head,
the sweaty, pasty film on her skin, the dark circles under her eyes, her
general too- bony, haggard appearance. Add to that lack of sleep
and not enough food--it was the perfect scarecrow look. Elena didn't
care anymore.
"A call for you." Carmela held out the
telephone to Elena.
Not even Carmela would have dared to bother
her with a phone call. Not unless it was an Immortal--Duncan!? Elena
reached eagerly for the phone, but with only one eye working, she misjudged
the distance--as she had been doing for weeks--and bumped Carmela's hand
instead. "*!Me cago en la mierda!*" she hissed savagely, trying to
get her fingers around the instrument.
Carmela paled a little. "It is a woman,"
she said quickly.
Elena's hand dropped, and she swallowed painfully,
tasting the bitter disappointment in the back of her throat. Of course,
it was not Duncan. She had driven him away with her pride and with
her stubborn refusal to confide in him, and Duncan was not going to call
her. Period. Elena shrugged and turned away. "Go, *vieja.*
I don't want to talk to anyone."
Carmela's lips tightened briefly, then she
said, "She says she is an *old* acquaintance of yours."
Elena knew that by "old" Carmela meant "Immortal."
Carmela was one of the few residents of the *estancia* whom Elena had entrusted
with her secret.
Elena sighed. *Otro condenao Immortal.*
No wonder Carmela insisted on giving her the phone. A call from an
Immortal could very well be the prelude to a visit from an Immortal, and
Carmela certainly wanted to avoid that! Immortals were Elena's responsibility;
and after all, why not talk to this "old acquaintance"? Why the hell
not? It was just a phone call. Elena took the phone carefully
from Carmela. "Gracias," Elena said, with an attempt at a smile.
Carmela smiled back--a real smile--and left.
Elena looked at the phone in her hand for
a moment, then lifted it and said, "*Oigo.*"
"Elena Duran?" The voice was smooth
yet incisive, velvet over steel. Definitely a woman, and definitely
an Immortal.
Elena did not bother to disguise the raspy
sound of her own voice. She was still having crying jags, and hadn't spoken
much since Duncan had left her. "Si."
"Mariaelena Concepcion Duran y Agramonte?"
An Immortal who knew all her names, all her
old names. Elena hadn't used the name Concepcion since 1830.
"Si," Elena repeated impatiently. She didn't want to play this game.
"*?Y vos?*"
"Maria Dolores Caterina Ramirez del Castillo."
That was another name Elena hadn't heard for
a long time. A very long time.
______________________________
La Fiesta de Santa Maria Magdalena, 1735
Buenos Aires, aboard the ship *Constanze*
______________________________
"Maria Dolores Caterina Ramirez del Castillo,"
the other Immortal woman introduced herself, as she stood four paces away
on the deck of the ship. Her maid waited quietly behind her, while
two sailors lugged a trunk up the gangplank. More trunks waited on
the busy wharf, where urchins and sailors and whores kept up a ceaseless
babble in a variety of tongues.
Dona Maria Dolores stood silent and still
amidst the noise and commotion, waiting. Her hands were ostentatiously
folded in front of her, lying immobile on her beautifully tailored dark-green
traveling cloak. A chill wind stirred her black mantilla, revealing
thick red hair. Her large hazel eyes were watchful, and just as chilly.
When Mariaelena did not respond, the woman
added, "We have met before. Your father Don Alvaro introduced us
in Toledo, some time ago."
"Si," Mariaelena said, irritated. "I
remember." It had been nearly a century ago, and Don Alvaro had introduced
this woman as a friend. But Mariaelena knew that friendship between Immortals
was rare, and even back then, this woman had undoubtedly evaluated Mariaelena
as a potential enemy. Which she was also obviously doing now.
Mariaelena was tempted to throw the other
Immortal into the sea at the first opportunity. When Don Alvaro had
first adopted Mariaelena, he had hired an old woman named Juana from the
Spanish province of Galicia to be Elena's *aya*--her teacher, maid, and
companion, all in one. Juana's favorite phrase had been, "*Coitela.*"
Caution.
Mariaelena needed to be cautious, and not
only of other Immortals. Two years ago she had been condemned and burned
as a witch, and the Inquisition had somehow heard she was still alive,
and was hunting her now. She had been hiding with the Indians in
the Cordillera de Cotanguil, the mountains just east of the Andes, but
the *Sagrada Hermandad* had a long arm. She wanted to leave South
America immediately, get as far away from those zealots as she could.
This ship was bound for Capetown, in Africa, but Mariaelena's ultimate
destination was Britain. There were no Inquisitors there.
"I wish only to travel," Maria Dolores said.
"There is no need for us to quarrel."
By "quarrel" Mariaelena knew the other woman
meant fight to the death, duel with swords until one of them cut off the
other one's head. There was no room to fight on such a small ship
anyway, not without getting caught. Mariaelena smiled grimly.
The sailors were watching the two slim, young-looking noblewomen, and the
sailors were listening, too. Maria Dolores was being cautious as
well.
"Very well," Mariaelena said. "A truce,
for the voyage." She walked toward the other woman, her dark-red
skirts swaying with the gentle movement of the docked ship, and smiled
into Maria Dolores' face. "Just stay out of my way."
~~~~~
She couldn't, of course. The ship was
too small. Fortunately, there were no other passengers, so the women
didn't have to share the same quarters; but their cabins were right next
to each other. Their maids quickly became friends, giggling and chattering
together, while Maria Dolores and Mariaelena remained wary acquaintances.
But then, the servant girls could afford to trust each other. They
weren't Immortals.
Still, it was good to have someone to talk
to, and there was nothing else to do. Except embroider, and Mariaelena
had always hated to do that. It required too much sitting.
Maria Dolores did not embroider, either. The two women walked the
decks together, and read and talked in the cabins. Or rather, Mariaelena
talked, and Maria Dolores listened. She listened as Mariaelena spoke
of the death of her father Don Alvaro, of being tortured by the Inquisition,
of the horror of being burned alive. It helped Mariaelena immensely,
to be able to share her grief and her pain with someone who understood,
someone who wouldn't judge her or think of her as an evil, unnatural creature.
Mariaelena had had no idea how badly she had needed just such a person
to listen to her.
But even though Maria Dolores listened sympathetically,
her eyes remained distant and remote. She had very old eyes, eyes
which had obviously seen a lot, and should have been full of life.
Or full of death. But they were strangely cold. No, not cold--empty,
Mariaelena finally decided one day. If the eyes were truly the mirrors
of the soul, as the poets claimed, then Maria Dolores had lost her soul
somewhere along the way. Or maybe she had just misplaced it for a
while.
They talked throughout the long, cold winter
crossing, and by the time they parted in Capetown, they had become ...
friends, of a sort. But they never saw each other again.
______________________
23 November 1996
______________________
"Yes," Elena said, letting no hint of that
friendliness show in her voice. "I remember. We were sailing
north across the sea, to Las Palmas."
The woman did not pause at all, but answered
easily, "We were sailing to Capetown, in Africa."
"Of course," Elena agreed. "Capetown."
But the Immortal could have looked that up in an old shipping record.
"And you stayed in the forward cabin, on the port side."
Now the woman sounded slightly amused.
"There was no forward cabin, and you and I were both on the starboard side."
She continued, "You wore a red dress under your traveling cloak.
The dress had black buttons in the shape of roses. You stood on the
deck and let the wind blow your hair, and all the sailors would watch you."
"Si," Elena said, swallowing around the sudden
thickness in her throat, remembering that dress and the look in the sailors'
eyes, remembering the feel of the wind and the softness of her hair.
It had taken her hair almost two years to grow back after her very public
immolation. Her hand went involuntarily to the stubble on her head,
then dropped abruptly. She did not look at her reflection in the
mirrors now. "What do you want, Maria Dolores?" Her voice was
still unfriendly.
The amusement changed to wariness, with a
hint of a plea underneath. "I would like to talk to you, Mariaelena."
"Talk?" Elena did not try to hide her
skepticism.
"Yes. Or rather ... I would like you
to listen." When Elena did not respond, she added, "I listened to
you once, and now I need someone to listen to me."
Elena said nothing.
Another short pause, then Maria Dolores said
softly, "I shouldn't have called. Please excuse me for intruding."
"*!Un momento!*" Elena didn't need a
broken bird right now, a soul in distress, not when she was in such need
of help herself. But she couldn't let the woman go like that, not
sounding so beaten, so hopeless. *!Dios mio!*--she knew what that
felt like. And Maria Dolores was right; Elena owed her. It
was Elena's turn to listen now, to let the older Immortal unburden herself,
to help purge her pain and fear and sorrow.
It was a point of honor, made stronger by
the fact that Maria Dolores was not belaboring it, was in fact just giving
up, about to hang up the phone. That told Elena a lot about just
how crushed the other woman must be. Elena had lost her pride and
her honor in Bethel's basement in New York. Here was a chance to
regain it. "Look," Elena said, "it's been ... a difficult time."
Any Immortal should understand that. "I'll hear you out. But
... where are you?"
There was a definite tone of relief, even
eagerness, in Maria Dolores' voice. "I can come to Argentina, Mariaelena.
I can meet you in two days."
She hadn't answered the question, Elena noted,
even though Maria Dolores obviously knew where Elena lived. (Never
give anything away, Don Alvaro had taught her. But what if it was
dragged out of you, with branding irons and sharp blades?) Elena
took a deep breath. Where Maria Dolores was didn't really matter.
"The Recoleta Cemetery, in Buenos Aires," Elena said. "We can meet
there. To talk."
Maria Dolores said, "I'll meet you in the
cemetery, on Monday afternoon at four."
"At four," Elena agreed, relieved to be finished
with this conversation, anxious to get back to what she had been doing,
alone. Meeting an Immortal, now of all times ... well, when was a good
time to meet an Immortal?
"Mariaelena?" the woman asked.
"What?"
"Thank you. This means a great deal
to me, that you are willing to listen."
Elena paused, suddenly unsure of what she
had agreed to, but responding to the obvious need in the other woman's
voice, and to her own need to pay that debt. All she had to do was
listen. She could do that. "You're welcome. *Buen viaje.*"
"Gracias," Maria Dolores said, then broke
the connection.
Elena put the phone on a bench and sat down
next to it, frowning, rubbing her hands together, palms open, calluses
against calluses, trying to ease the aches there. As always, her
sword lay close at hand.
Maria Dolores had been a patient woman, but
certainly not a talker. Elena had suspected at the time that it was more
because Maria Dolores didn't want to talk--or maybe couldn't talk--rather
than because she didn't have anything to say. Apparently, Maria Dolores
wanted to talk now. Something had changed.
A lot of things had changed. Elena deliberately
looked at herself in the mirror again. She certainly had. She
was a different person now than she had been on the *Constanze,* and not
just in looks. She had nothing in common with the cool, elegant, and beautiful
Maria Dolor--
Elena realized, with a start, that this was
the first time in four days she had actually thought about anyone other
than herself. She smiled ruefully, and her ugly duckling reflection
smiled back, the first time Elena had brought herself to smile in ... four
days.
Maybe this Immortal's visit was going to help
her, too--provided it didn't get her separated from her head. Maybe
this visit was just what she needed to get her out of this morass of self-pity,
to get her thinking about someone else for a change.
No, she reflected, that's not what she needed.
What she needed was a shower. And a bath. A long, hot, scented
bath. Some coffee, some music. And some food. And maybe
even some company, voices other than her own ragged croak and the voices
in her head.
But what she really needed was some sleep,
and she couldn't manage that, *!Madre de Dios, no!* Which meant she
wasn't ready yet to unlock the doors, to let other people in. But
now she had a little hope; she was closer. Soon. Two days,
anyway.
She hoped.
~~~~~
Elena strode arrogantly past the Doric columns into
the central lane of the Recoleta Cemetery, then stopped and looked around.
Another Immortal was nearby--there, at the end of the lane, standing in
the shade of a cypress tree. Elena walked quickly toward the woman,
who was turning to her, and stopped only a pace away--deliberately and
aggressively getting inside the other Immortal's personal space. Elena
looked her up and down.
The other woman was looking her up and down,
too, but very circumspectly. She wasn't obvious about it, not like
the "beautiful," well-heeled couple who had openly gawked at Elena when
she'd gotten out of her Jeep, not like the knot of tourists whose stare
Elena was fiercely ignoring now. Elena was getting better at ignoring
those--the sidelong looks, the open-mouthed gapes, the comments, the whispers--better
than she had been in that restaurant in Seacouver with Duncan. She
had had a lot of practice since then.
But Elena hadn't missed the way the Immortal
had looked at her. Elena had seen the rounding of her eyes, the slight
parting of her lips. The surprise had been hidden instantly, but
it had been there.
Elena ground her teeth, waiting to see what
the woman would say, how she would react ... but first, to establish that
this was, indeed, who she claimed to be. The height was about right,
but this woman had auburn hair, not red. "Maria Dolores?" Elena demanded.
The other Immortal did not move back, but
answered quietly, "Si."
Elena demanded again, "Maria Dolores Caterina
Ramirez del Castillo?"
"Si, Mariaelena."
"It's Elena now," Elena reminded her.
"And you changed your hair." She wondered if Maria Dolores would dare say
anything about her own hair. Or, rather, her own lack of hair.
Or her missing eye. Or her too-large clothes. Elena swallowed
her anger. Her pride was unaccountably hurt, even though Maria Dolores
had said nothing, but if this woman felt sorry for her....
The woman gave a small shrug. "I've
had many different hair colors. Sometimes, we want to change." She
met Elena's hostile glare calmly. "Sometimes, we're forced to."
The voice sounded the same, Elena was relatively
sure. Then she noticed Maria Dolores's eyes. They were green,
not the hazel she remembered. They were still very old, but not quite
so empty as they used to be. A broken bird still, perhaps, but no
longer a lost soul. Elena was sure they were the same eyes, the same
woman.
Elena suddenly wondered if Maria Dolores saw
emptiness or brokenness in her eyes. Her eye! she reminded herself
savagely. Bethel had clawed out her other eye. Forced to change,
indeed.
What else had changed? The hair, the
eyes ...? Was she even the same woman who had been on the phone?
Was this really Maria Dolores? Now Elena was not so sure, and she
had to know. "It's been a long time since we first met in Madrid.
Tell me what you remember."
There was no amusement in the other Immortal's
voice at the test this time. She answered evenly. "We didn't
meet in Madrid, but in Toledo, in 1636. Your teacher Don Alvaro introduced
us. You were getting your first sword, a broadsword. Don Alvaro
said the swordcutler had never made a blade for a left-handed man before,
let alone for a woman, and it took quite some time to achieve a balance
that suited Don Alvaro. He wanted only the best for you, his pupil."
She added more gently, "His daughter."
Elena blinked at the memory. That blade,
too, she had lost to Bethel. He had broken it, just as he had broken
her. But her memories of her father's exacting requirements about
that sword, her memories of his love for her, were still within her.
Bethel had taken those away from her, too, for a while. But Bethel
had ultimately failed because he hadn't killed her. She'd gotten
away from him, and as long as she was alive....
Very well, Elena was convinced this was Maria
Dolores. She backed away one step, giving the other Immortal some
room. Still, just because Maria Dolores had been friendly before
didn't mean she was a friend now. *Coitela,* caution, always.
Elena would be cautious, and that meant there was something else she needed
to ask. "I need to know if someone is still hunting you."
Maria Dolores repeated smoothly, "Hunting
me?" She shrugged again, that small elegant shrug that was already
getting on Elena's nerves. "What do you mean?" Her eyes were wide
and innocent, her face calm.
Elena wasn't buying it. "Someone was
hunting you when we were on that ship."
"We're Immortals. We're always being
hunted." She gave Elena a quick but thorough glance. "Or we
are hunting. That's the nature of the Game, isn't it?"
Elena shook her head, suspicious again.
"You're lying. Or hiding something. You say you want me to
listen, and then the first thing you do is lie to me. If you can't
be honest about this, then I can't trust you, and we're finished, right
now."
Maria Dolores merely looked at Elena for a
moment, with absolutely no change of expression on her face. Her
eyes were empty again. Then she blinked, and the wounded bird was back.
"You're right," she admitted, her voice soft. "I am lying.
I'm sorry. I've been ... hiding for a very long time, and lying gets
to be a habit."
"A bad habit."
"Yes." An expression of pain flickered
on her face, then was wiped away. The green eyes were calm and watchful
once again.
"So?" Elena demanded impatiently. "There
was a man hunting you. You thought I was too preoccupied with the Inquisition
to notice, but I saw how you froze sometimes, like a rabbit hiding, at
shadows and at some men's voices, even on a ship in the middle of the ocean.
I know from Don Alvaro that you're an old one, and if the same Immortal
is still hunting you, I don't need him or anyone else coming here looking
for you, not now."
Maria Dolores gave a quick nod. "You
are right again." Another nod, a slower one this time, followed by
a deep breath. "There was a man, hunting me. He's dead now."
She said quietly, "He's part of what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Oh?" Elena said, non-committally. Good,
Maria Dolores had admitted it. Maybe they could get along, after
all.
"He...." She shook her head, and started
over. "I hid from him for over three thousand years."
*!Sangre de Dios!* Elena thought. Three
millennia! Elena had known this woman was old, but not that ancient.
She couldn't even imagine living that long, much less being chased for
that long.
Maria Dolores continued, "Every few centuries
he would find me, and then...." She gave another shrug, but it didn't
annoy Elena this time. Maria Dolores stopped and walked away, then
stood staring at the ground, her hand resting on a low headstone.
Her long, elegant fingers closed around the marble in a hard grip.
"I guess I'm not ready to talk yet, after all."
Elena believed her now. She came closer
and reached out to touch the other Immortal gently on the arm, but didn't
quite dare. So she dropped her hand and said softly, almost in awe,
"Three ... thousand years?" She cast around for something else to
say and finally came up with, "What was his name?"
Maria Dolores didn't want to say that, either,
but she did. "His name ... was Roland."
"Roland?" Elena repeated in surprise.
Duncan had taken Roland's head in June, while Elena had been in Japan.
When she had come back to Seacouver later that summer, Duncan had told
her the story. In 1606, when Duncan was still a boy living in the
Highlands of Scotland, Roland had come hunting for him. An Immortal
named Cassandra had hidden Duncan--saved him, actually. The local
people had feared Cassandra and called her the witch of Donan Woods.
They had had good reason to think her a witch. She had a power in
her voice, the power to control and to hypnotize. Roland had also
had the power of the Voice, and he had used it in his fight against Duncan.
Only Cassandra's help and warning had helped Duncan defeat Roland.
Elena looked at Maria Dolores again, and suddenly
realized who this woman really was. She took a step back. A
cold feeling of dread replaced the heat of anger, of arrogance, of wounded
pride, and Elena tried to keep the emotion from her face.
"You're Cassandra," Elena whispered, her mouth
dry, wondering about the Voice, what it could do, what Cassandra could
do. "You're the witch of Donan Wood." And one of Duncan's lovers,
she added to herself. One of his *recent* lovers. Cassandra
and Duncan had just spent more than a week together, chasing after the
Four Horsemen; Duncan had told Elena a little of that tale, too.
So why was Cassandra really here? Because she wanted Duncan and needed
to get Elena out of the way? That would be ironic, considering Duncan
had left her just days before.
Maria Dolores--no, Cassandra, it was Cassandra!--turned
to her swiftly, but there was no surprise on her face or in her voice now,
only wariness. "You know MacLeod?"
*Which MacLeod?* thought Elena in sudden confusion,
her mind swirling with thoughts, with possibilities. Connor or Duncan?
Why hadn't Cassandra said Duncan? She had slept with him, after all.
Or did Cassandra know Connor? And had she slept with Connor, too?
Just how long had Cassandra lived in the Highlands, anyway? Her father's
words came back to her again. "Never give anything away." Always
good advice. If Cassandra wasn't going to specify which MacLeod she
meant, Elena wouldn't, either. She simply answered, "Yes."
"Then maybe you already know my story, and
I don't have to tell you." Cassandra's eyes were very cold, the wounded
bird hidden now. "What do you know, Elena?" she demanded. "What did
he tell you?"
Elena always responded to being attacked by
hitting back harder. And this was definitely an attack. She stepped
closer to Cassandra, again, closing the distance between them. Cassandra
had nowhere to go; her back was against the headstone. The two women
were almost exactly the same height, and Elena stood very close, staring
into her eyes. She used her most intimidating voice, the icy, deadly
one, and tried not to think about what kind of Voice Cassandra might have.
She prepared herself to cut off Cassandra's wind, and that Voice.
A spearhand in the throat should do it. "He told me about the Voice,"
she hissed, her chest almost touching Cassandra's. "What else do I need
to know?"
Cassandra blinked again, and changed again.
The coldness and the anger were gone; replaced once more by the wounded
bird. Her eyes showed only confusion and remembered pain, and she
seemed to shrink into herself. "I'm sorry," she said again.
Her words were low and hesitant. "I didn't come here to fight."
Elena couldn't keep up with the way Cassandra
kept changing herself. First calm and arrogant, then humbly admitting she
had lied, then almost too frightened to speak Roland's name, then suddenly
watchful and angry, even deadly, and now humble again. She wondered
if Cassandra were doing it deliberately, to confuse her. It was working,
but Cassandra seemed to be just as confused. Who was this woman?
Did she even know herself?
Elena took a deep breath, damping the fear,
and stepped back again. Maybe Cassandra really did just want to talk.
Duncan had told Elena how desperate Cassandra had been to escape Roland,
and Elena didn't think Cassandra had been lying now when she said Roland
had been chasing her for three millennia. But she had to be sure.
"Is that why--?"
Someone came up behind her, and Elena turned
to face a family--a man and a woman, and their two young children playing
amongst the monuments. The man was looking in a guidebook of some
sort, but the woman gaped at Elena. He started to say, in broken
Spanish, "*Por favor, ?donde esta ...?*" then he raised his head.
The words died in his throat.
"The grave of Evita Peron?" Elena answered
in English, recognizing the man's accent. She raised her arm and
pointed. "Down this lane. Black marble," she said curtly. Then,
she motioned with her head for Cassandra to follow her, turned, and walked
to a more deserted section of the cemetery, behind a large pink marble
mausoleum. *Another dead hero,* she thought as she gazed at the grandeur
of his resting place. All around her were other monuments and headstones
and crosses. She and Cassandra were still on Holy Ground, and she
was safe. Probably. And now, here, with fewer interruptions,
she could truly read the old Immortal's expression, discern her real purpose.
She hoped.
As Cassandra came up behind her, Elena turned
and asked her, quickly, to catch her off guard, "Is that why you're here?
Because of him?"
"Because of ...?" Cassandra stopped
and considered Elena for a moment. "Because of Duncan?" Now
there was actually some surprise showing on Cassandra's face. "Why
would I be here because of him?"
"How about jealousy? You slept with
him. Maybe you want him." Why wouldn't Cassandra want him?
*And why the hell would Duncan want me now, anyway?* Elena thought, bitterly.
She was useless, broken, ugly. She couldn't even stand to have him
touch her. Duncan had probably been glad to have an excuse to go.
He could have any woman he wanted, including the beautiful Cassandra, with
her long, silky auburn hair, her cool green eyes--both her eyes.
Both of them.
The amused tone Elena had heard on the phone
was back in Cassandra's voice now. "Sleeping with Duncan MacLeod
is hardly unusual, is it? And hardly worth fighting over. And no,
I don't want him."
Elena wondered for a moment if Cassandra was
laughing at her. But then Cassandra's amusement disappeared again.
"I'm here ... I want to talk to *you,* Mariaelena."
She looked at Elena carefully, and this time, Elena didn't mind being looked
at. "I think we both need someone to listen."
Elena's first impulse was to be angry and
mistrustful, to reject Cassandra. But Elena trusted her own instincts,
and her instincts said, believe this woman. She wanted to believe
Cassandra. She really did. But... Elena held her hands out
in front of her, palms up. "How do I know? How do I know you're
not using the Voice now, to convince me?"
A quirk of the lips, almost a smile, flitted
across Cassandra's face. "Are you convinced?"
Elena couldn't help smiling herself.
"No," she answered, now more convinced than ever. And Duncan had
said he trusted Cassandra. Well, as Richie Ryan would say, *Shit or get
off the pot.* Elena said, "Will you give me your word, your solemn
oath, that you will not use this Voice against me? That I won't be
bringing you into my house so you can hurt my people?"
Cassandra nodded. "I give you my word.
I will not use the Voice. On you, or on any of your people." She
glanced quickly at Elena's thin cloak, where her sword was hidden, then
added, "Unless I fear for my life."
It was Elena's turn to nod. They were
Immortals--that was always the one condition. She'd have to go home
now, think about this. Then she realized there was one more thing she needed
to know, one more thing that would probably convince her. "Show me,
Cassandra. If you want me to trust you with my life and the lives of those
I love, I need to know what the Voice is all about. I need to understand
it for myself." *So I'll know if you use it against me,* she thought.
Not that it would matter, at that point.
"You want me to use the Voice on you?" Cassandra
asked in disbelief. "Now?"
"Yes. We're on Holy Ground." She
wondered if that would really protect her; but it didn't matter.
She had to know, one way or another.
Cassandra shook her head. "No."
Before Elena could protest, she added, "I swore another vow, a very long
time ago, never to use the Voice except in times of great need, or great
danger." She placed both her hands on top of Elena's, and said formally,
"I swear to you, Mariaelena Concepcion Duran y Agramonte, that I will not
use the Voice on you, unless you try to kill me."
Elena studied her intently, trying to judge
if Cassandra was influencing her with some glamour, like a vampire, whether
her mind was being affected by the Voice. But all she could see on
Cassandra's face was sincerity, and all she could feel was forthrightness
and a measure of pain that Elena was sure ran deep. Finally, Elena nodded.
Cassandra removed her hands and said, "You
can ask MacLeod about the Voice, if you wish."
Elena was curious enough to ask, and by now,
amused. "Which one?" she asked with a small smile. "Duncan
or Connor?"
"Both," Cassandra said, and she smiled, too.
Elena realized it was the first smile she
had seen from Cassandra this day. And one of the few smiles she'd
ever seen on Cassandra's face. Then she thought about what Cassandra
had said. Both MacLeods? This could be a very interesting conversation.
But Elena couldn't ask Duncan or Connor anything,
could she? She couldn't keep the harshness out of her tone.
"No, Duncan and I are ... He's gone. And Connor ... well. I'll
have to do without both of them." And whose fault was that? she asked
herself. Duncan and Connor had helped her, had given her back her
sanity and a lot of her self-worth, had saved her life. She had repaid
them by driving them away, thank you very much. If she had deliberately
set out to alienate both the MacLeods, she could not have done a better
job. "I guess I'll just have to take your word for it."
"What else can we give each other?" Cassandra
asked, her own voice harsh, even bitter. She lifted her chin and
studied Elena, then asked, "May I have your word, that you won't try to
kill me?"
Elena wasn't ready to commit to that yet.
She looked away for a moment, considering, letting the peace of this quiet
part of the cemetery fill her, calm her. There was so much about
Cassandra that appealed to her, that drew her. They had something
in common besides being Immortals and being women. The story of this
bastard, Roland.... Duncan hadn't told her the whole story; he didn't know
it. But Cassandra knew. Elena realized that not only was she
honor-bound to listen, but she wanted to listen to this hurt, confused
woman, as Cassandra had once listened to her.
*Two broken birds,* she thought, *singing
to each other, and listening to each other's songs.* But even so--the
Voice. Elena feared very few Immortals, and she didn't fear Cassandra,
but she did fear the Voice. So much for peace. Elena shook
her head, then asked, "Where are you staying?"
"At the Hotel Central Cordoba," Cassandra
answered.
Elena knew the hotel, near another cemetery,
la Chacarita. Elena knew Buenos Aires well, every street, every park.
She knew every site of Holy Ground in the city. "I'll call you in
the morning to let you know my decision. But," she added, significantly,
"don't come to my ranch without my invitation, Cassandra. I will
consider it a challenge and shoot you from afar, *then* I will come close
and take your head."
Cassandra merely nodded, her eyes calm and
watchful once again.
Elena nodded in return, and they walked together
to the central lane. Then Elena went out the gate to her parked Jeep,
the whole time conscious of the Immortal behind her, and very conscious
of that Voice. She walked more quickly, wondering if she'd made a
terrible mistake--another mistake. She wondered if she would hear
her name called, or some mental command which would leave her helpless.
But when she reached her car and looked back, Cassandra was standing in
the shade of the same cypress tree again, a still, silent figure, as animated
as the crypts themselves.
Elena found herself wanting to leave Cassandra
with something other than a threat, because she did want to believe Cassandra.
So she raised her hand in farewell and got into her Jeep. As she
drove away, she saw Cassandra nod almost imperceptibly, another spare,
elegant gesture from a silent, broken woman.
~~~~~
Cassandra watched as Elena drove away, engine
roaring and tires squealing. So Elena still liked to move fast, whether
in a car or on her feet. That hadn't changed. But so much else
had. She honestly had not recognized Elena when she had first come
into the cemetery. Cassandra had seen instead the missing eye, the
stubble of hair, the look of a starved and abused animal kept caged too
long.
<Would you like to come out now?>
Roland's voice echoed inside her, exquisitely
polite, supremely mocking. He was dead, she reminded herself.
He could never keep her in a cage again. Nor could Kronos.
But someone had caged Elena. This Elena Duran looked nothing at all
like the Mariaelena Concepcion Duran y Agramonte she had met, all those
years ago.
______________________________
Asuncion de Nuestra Senora, 1636
Monastery of San Juan de los Reyes, Toledo, Spain
______________________________
Cassandra sat on the wooden bench in the shade
of the cloister, grateful for some relief from the heat. Her black
gown was of light-weight silk, but the gown combined with her underskirts,
her bodice, her farthingale, and her shift made her much too warm.
She had been staying at the woman's side of the monastery's guest house
for almost a month now, but she would have to leave soon. She had
to keep moving, or else Roland might find her again, and she could not
let that happen.
A pair of nuns were working in the vegetable
garden. They also wore black, stooping over, pulling weeds, like
two silent crows searching for carrion. The sun was beating down
on their backs, and their habits were of wool. Doubtless they were
offering up their sufferings to their god, believing this would bring them
closer to heaven. Cassandra was glad she was no longer a nun.
The bells rang, and the nuns gathered their
tools and their baskets and left. Only two more hours until the evening
meal. Perhaps she would take a nap. She wanted to sleep and
to forget. Great Mother, to forget! If only she could forget,
just for a little while. If only she could escape. But she
knew there would be no escape for her, not until Roland was dead, and she
did not think that day would ever come. Cassandra stood, her skirts
rustling about her, then stopped and casually surveyed the garden.
There was a pre-Immortal nearby.
Old Sor Maria Isodora, the convent herbalist,
and a dark-haired fashionably-dressed young woman in her twenties had entered
the garden and were standing near the herbs. Hovering in the background,
watching from the garden entrance, was a very old woman, probably a servant.
The pre-Immortal sensation was closer than that. Cassandra knew the
nun was not a pre-Immortal, so it must be the young woman.
Cassandra started walking to her room.
She had no reason to speak to the woman, to warn her of her future.
It was not her concern. She had just entered the public hall of the convent
when she felt another presence, this time of a full Immortal. Cassandra
did not pause, hoping to disappear before the other Immortal saw her.
She would eat her dinner in her room tonight, and stay there until she
left the convent. With luck, the Immortal would never know who she
was.
Luck was not with her. Cassandra turned
the corner and saw the other Immortal standing at the foot of the stairs--Roderigo
Rubio, raised as an Iberian when this land had been a province of Rome,
and a former student of her sometime-lover and former husband Juan Sanchez
Villa-Lobos Ramirez. She stopped where she was, bending her head
slightly in recognition, then waited for him to speak first. At least they
were on Holy Ground.
He bowed back, but kept her ever in sight.
The lean fingers of his left hand were on his sword, holding the weapon
at an angle, ready to draw it at any moment. "Callista," he said,
greeting her with the name he had known her by. "It's been a long
time."
Twelve centuries probably seemed long to him.
"Roderigo Rubio," she said in return, evaluating his appearance.
His expensive black velvet clothes were cut in the French style, and around
his neck was a thick golden chain with a cross of beaten gold. Ramirez
had told her that his student had happily embraced the Christianity brought
by the Visigoths, but she doubted that Roderigo had taken all of Christ's
teachings to heart.
Cassandra had not been impressed with her
lover's decision to teach Roderigo. She had thought the new Immortal
arrogant and impatient and much too eager to fight, especially so for a
man who was not in the first flush of youth. Well, he had obviously
learned enough to survive. Perhaps he had even grown up some in the
process.
Some things about him had not changed--the
same light-blue eyes, the same blondish hair and beard touched with gray
at the temples and chin, though his hair was neatly barbered now.
His thinness and straight carriage made him appear taller than he was,
even gaunt, though there was nothing weak about him. He looked the
very picture of a Spanish nobleman, a *caballero*: tall, arrogant, proud,
always looking for a fight--foolish. The foolishness hadn't changed,
either, but his name probably had. "How are you called these days?"
she asked politely.
"I am Don Alvaro Eugenio Duran y Agramonte.
And you?"
She permitted herself a small smile.
She had one more name than he did. "Dona Maria Dolores Caterina Ramirez
del Castillo."
"Ramirez?" he questioned. "As in Juan
Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez?"
"Yes," Cassandra replied, giving him no other
information. Cassandra and Ramirez had once been married for over a decade.
When Cassandra had returned to Spain four years ago, she had decided to
use the name Ramirez again, in tribute to his memory.
"How does Ramirez?" asked Alvaro eagerly.
"I have not seen him since 1538, when he was chief metallurgist to King
Charles, and we met at court."
Cassandra did not answer, and that was answer
enough.
Alvaro paled. "When? Who?"
"In 1542." Her voice was calm and steady,
and she ignored the familiar feeling of loss. "It was the Kurgan."
Ramirez had been in the Highlands of Scotland at the time, teaching his
very new student, Connor MacLeod. Then the Kurgan, an ancient enemy,
had come hunting.
Alvaro nodded slowly, then let out a gusty
sigh and shrugged. "The Game, eh? Nevertheless, it is a shame.
Ramirez was ... a good man. And he was good to me." His jaw tightened.
"Someday someone must destroy that *asqueroso* Kurgan, that abomination
from Hell," he muttered almost to himself. Then, addressing her again,
he asked, "What happened to his katana?"
Cassandra carefully kept her face pleasantly
blank. Connor had the sword now, a unique Masamune katana.
Apparently Alvaro had not grown up enough. She knew Roderigo had
long lusted after that sword, and Roderigo--Alvaro, now--might just decide
to take Connor's head to get it. She had to protect Connor, even
though she knew Connor wanted her dead.
"Does not the victor usually take the sword?"
she asked, thinking that might prompt Alvaro to go after the Kurgan.
If Alvaro won, then the Kurgan would not be hunting Connor. And if,
as was more probable, the Kurgan won ... Well, Cassandra did not
particularly care.
Alvaro looked momentarily annoyed, but he
nodded. "It is often so. But I always thought the Kurgan would wield
a larger, heavier weapon, a double-handed sword, for example. A katana
is deadly, but delicate. And I don't exactly see that brutal creature
keeping souvenirs, either." Then he shrugged again. He studied
her for a moment, then apparently made a decision. "Shall we walk
a bit, in the garden?" he offered. "There's someone I want you to
meet."
The pre-Immortal, probably. Cassandra
had no wish to talk to her, no wish to talk to anyone, but she nodded graciously,
then walked alongside him back into the garden.
The young woman looked up as they came onto
the portico, then hurried over, the bell-shaped farthingale of her red
silk skirts catching on the plants as she whisked by. Her black mantilla
slipped off her head to her shoulders, revealing her jet-black hair which
hung loose past her waist, advertising her unmarried state, and--theoretically--her
virginity. Sor Maria Isadora stood forgotten by the herb garden.
"There you are!" the young woman exclaimed,
her voice fast and breathless, giving Cassandra a very quick, yet very
thorough, glance. Dangling pearls swayed from her ears, the creamy
orbs perfectly matched by her single-strand pearl necklace. The necklace
was long enough to dip very slightly in the center, drawing attention to
the curves emphasized by her low-cut red gown and the extravagant black
lace decorating her bodice. Red was a relatively scandalous color,
especially for Spain, especially for a convent. But red suited the woman,
brought out her dark coloring--the jet- black hair, the gray eyes, the
elegant sweep of her eyebrows, and the deep red of her lips.
Cassandra stood quietly, her hands folded
together, her eyes slightly downcast as befitted a woman, staring at the
embroidery on the hem of the other woman's gown. The cost of the
woman's clothing was enough to feed three poor families for a year.
Cassandra usually did not care what she wore, as long as it did not excite
curiosity for the time and the place she was in, but suddenly she was very
aware of her unadorned black widow's gown. Her shoulder- length hennaed
hair was pulled into a plain bun at the back of her neck, and her only
jewelry was a small gold cross hung around her neck. Cassandra dismissed
the matter from her mind. Being conspicuous was stupid. This
young woman didn't realize it, but Alvaro should know better.
"Mariaelena!" Don Alvaro chided. "Where
are your manners? The *hermana* was speaking to you! Go back
to her at once. And pull your mantilla over your head, *nina.*
Remember where you are."
Mariaelena flushed, the dusky color flooding
her high cheekbones, and anger and mutiny sparkled in her eyes. Then
she took a deep breath and arranged her mantilla properly. She turned
to rush back.
"And walk slowly!" Alvaro called after her.
Mariaelena slowed to a more sedate pace, every
footstep deliberately and carefully placed. The old servant joined
her, speaking to her quietly as they approached the nun again.
Cassandra raised one eyebrow. Alvaro
had his hands full with this one. She decided a change of topic was
in order. "Does she know she will be Immortal?"
Alvaro shook his head. "No, but I have
taught her to fence, starting when she was only fifteen or so. It
will be difficult enough for a woman, and although she has a lot of energy,
the sword doesn't come naturally to her."
Cassandra nodded smoothly, her face still
showing only pleasant acceptance. It was indeed difficult for a woman,
mortal or Immortal, and it was men who made it that way. "She's very
beautiful," she observed, wondering what sort of relationship Alvaro had
with this fiery young woman whom he had known since she was at least only
fifteen.
Alvaro snorted as he watched Mariaelena, now
speaking graciously to the nun. "I don't pick my students for their
beauty. This one's a mongrel, with Indian blood. And she is
just a woman."
Cassandra still did not change her expression.
Centuries of practice made it easy for her to keep all traces of her thoughts
from showing on her face. Alvaro was as arrogant and annoying as
ever. As for Indian blood, all Immortals were mongrels. He
had no idea who his parents had been. No Immortal did. He might
look like a Spanish gentleman now, but Alvaro had been raised an Iberian,
and the Romans who had conquered this land had considered him a barbarian,
a savage animal. And as for being "just a woman...."
Alvaro bent down a little, leaning over her
in a way she found distinctly uncomfortable, though she did not move away
from him. He spoke quietly, but the colder, uglier tone now in his
voice made her watch him surreptitiously, alert for any signs of the violence
she sensed in him.
"When I found her she was a child still, only
about twelve, but the Spaniard who owned her ...." He drew in a breath
through his nose, then said with grim satisfaction, "That particular sadistic
whoreson, may he burn in all the fires of Hell, will never treat an innocent
child so again."
Cassandra looked again at the vibrant and
beautiful young woman, and she felt no pity for the abused girl Mariaelena
had been. Cassandra had seen too many abused girls, too many broken
women, and she had no pity left--for them, or for herself.
Alvaro paused, took a deep breath, and looked
across at Mariaelena. "I tell you, she has more heart and guts than anyone
I've ever met, man or woman!" His voice strengthened and warmed with
pride, and something more.
Cassandra turned slowly to look at him, using
the deliberately graceful movement to hide her surprise and to move slightly
away from him at the same time. She had never thought to hear him
say this of another person, let alone of a woman. This was more than
the pride he might take in a magnificent animal he owned. There was
a softening in his voice and in his face that spoke of love--a father's
love. The relationship was not what she had thought. Mariaelena was
very fortunate to be starting out her Immortal life this way, with a teacher
and a parent who would love and guide her through those perilous early
years. Cassandra allowed her voice to become warm and even a little
awed. "She is your daughter, I see, as well as your student."
"Yes. I adopted her, and I have never
regretted it. Well," he amended, smiling fondly, "almost never."
His smile disappeared, and he fixed Cassandra with a penetrating gaze.
"She has brought me great joy, and I would die for her."
Cassandra heard the words he did not say:
"And kill for her." She had no intention of hurting this girl, but
many other Immortals would, and she knew it. So did Alvaro.
She bent her head and interlaced her fingers, adopting a posture of submission,
allowing him to think he had intimidated her.
It seemed to satisfy him for the moment, for
he straightened and turned his eyes back to his daughter.
Mariaelena came back to them now, walking
slowly and sedately, as befitted a young lady. But Cassandra could
see the pent-up energy in her gray eyes, the quick movements of her head
as the girl took in all details, the way she moved smoothly, like a dancer--or
a fencer--in spite of the width and heaviness of her dress and of the skirts
underneath. The old woman stayed at a respectful distance. Beyond
them, Sor Maria Isadora disappeared into the convent.
Alvaro bowed slightly in Cassandra's direction.
"Dona Maria Dolores, may I present my daughter, Mariaelena Concepcion Duran
y Agramonte?"
"Dona Mariaelena," Cassandra murmured, being
careful not to smile. Alvaro had already embarrassed Mariaelena in front
of her, and Cassandra could see the young woman had a great deal of pride--too
much pride. She would learn, as all women must learn, that men, even
fond fathers, would not long allow pride in a woman. She must be
a reed--soft, pliable, hollow--bending and bowing with the slightest breeze.
If she did not bend, the men would break her and trample her underfoot,
then grind her into the dirt.
"Mariaelena, this is an old friend of mine,
Dona Maria Dolores Caterina Ramirez del Castillo."
Mariaelena looked at Cassandra more closely
now, for the term "old friend" could mean many things. It was not
a very friendly look, but her manners could not be faulted as she replied,
"I am pleased to meet you, Dona Maria Dolores."
As the elder woman, it was Cassandra's place
to speak first. "Did Sor Maria Isadora speak with you of herbs, Dona
Mariaelena?"
"Yes, senora," Mariaelena said, politely enough.
"The plants here are different than they are in La Plata."
"So, you come here from the colonies," Cassandra
observed. "Have you been in Toledo long?"
"Almost three months." Her voice grew
more animated. "We came to here to get my--" She stopped abruptly
and looked at Alvaro, her face flushing again.
He did not looked pleased. It seemed
to be a common occurrence between him and his daughter.
Cassandra said swiftly, hoping to spare the
girl further embarrassment, "Are you here to purchase a wardrobe?
The seamstresses are very skilled in this city."
Mariaelena seized on that. "Yes, I have
many new gowns, and a lovely new ballgown. I also have some marvelous
new riding habits." She glanced once at her father, then ventured, smiling
mischievously, "What I'd really love is to go to Andalucia and--"
"Mariaelena," Alvaro interrupted, apparently
having heard this before. "I've already told you I don't want to
ship another Andalusian across the ocean. Those horses are too high-strung;
they don't always survive the voyage, and the cost is prohibitive, especially
for a dead animal." He smiled at her fondly, taking the sting out
of the rebuke this time. "And ordinarily, I'd never give such a fine
animal to a woman, although I know that you, *nina,* can handle one."
Cassandra watched as Mariaelena smiled at
him again, but with love instead of mischief. The girl was luckier
than she knew, luckier than she had any right to expect to be.
Alvaro turned to Cassandra. "In any
case," he continued, "we are here in Toledo for a different reason.
This city is famous for more than just clothes." He studied Cassandra
again. "We came to purchase a sword for Mariaelena," he said finally,
then turned back to his daughter. "You may speak of your sword to
Dona Maria Dolores, but to no one else. Do not forget again."
"Si, padre," she said contritely, but now
she was looking at Cassandra even more closely, obviously wondering what
made this woman so special.
Cassandra gave her a small polite smile that
revealed nothing. "Don Alvaro," Cassandra asked, "would you please
tell us what makes a Toledo sword distinctive?" Always give a man
a chance to display his knowledge. Mariaelena would need to learn
this lesson, too.
Alvaro rubbed his hands together as though
warming himself to the task. "Let us sit." He indicated a wide
bench in the shade of a tree. They all walked over and settled themselves,
one woman on either side of him.
But before he could say anything, Mariaelena
stood again. "Your pardon, padrecito," she murmured, then gestured
to her servant. "Come here, Juana." As the old woman did so, Elena
offered Juana her seat, explaining, "It's so hot in the sun." Mariaelena
sank gracefully down and settled herself on the ground in front of them,
her gown billowing around her.
Juana shook her head in amusement and exasperation,
then murmured something about Mariaelena's clothes.
Alvaro waved away her objections. "Sit,"
he ordered.
Juana sat on the edge of the bench, her back
straight, her eyes downcast, and Cassandra considered Mariaelena from under
her lashes. The girl might be impetuous, but at least she was not spoiled
and selfish, as she so easily could be.
Alvaro was impatient to begin, a king holding
court. "Are we ready, then? Very well. Toledan steel
in the hands of a master swordcutler like Don Alonso Sahagun results in
a weapon like none other in the world. In fact, the famous Spanish
hero, El Cid Campeador, wielded a Toledan blade in his battles against
the Moors."
For a while he spoke about the Moors and their
scimitars, which were forged (according to Alvaro) on the pattern used
by the Toledan swordcutlers. Ramirez had told Cassandra that Alvaro
had been a part of El Cid's armies and had spent centuries fighting against
Catholic Spain's great enemies, the Moors. But, of course, Mariaelena
knew nothing about her father's past, or about being an Immortal.
It would come soon enough.
Alvaro was still waxing eloquent, or at least,
he thought he was. "The master Don Alonso has gotten old, but he supervises
still. It is very exact, the composition of the blade, the time it
must spend in the fire, the color it must attain there. I am no expert,
but I have heard the swordcutler reciting prayers in a certain rhythm to
make sure the blade did not remain in the fire too long, or not long enough.
Then, the cooling in water and the blowing, to get the perfect tempering.
Our swordcutler is Don Alonso's own son, and he has already spent almost
three months...."
He continued his discourse for quite some
time, touching on the history of swords, of the importance of the proper
type of ore and coal, of famous blades he had seen, and Cassandra soon
stopped listening. She was grateful when the bells rang again, and
the nuns started to come through the garden on their way to afternoon prayers.
"Your pardon, Don Alvaro, Dona Mariaelena. I must join the sisters
in the chapel now."
Alvaro stood and bowed. "Of course,
Dona Maria Dolores. We shall see you again."
Cassandra smiled and left them under the shade
of the tree, the irritating Spanish don and his spirited mongrel daughter.
She took her place in the chapel and bowed her head, listening to the chanting
of the sisters. Cassandra wondered how long Mariaelena would retain
her fiery independence, how many years it would take until the fire within
her was stamped out and extinguished, and only the ashes remained.
______________________
25 November 1996
______________________
It had been three hundred sixty years since
she had first met Elena, and it seemed as though her question had been
answered. Elena looked the way Cassandra felt: beaten, broken, used.
<I will tame you.>
The burning brightness of Elena's flame was
gone now, replaced by smoldering hate and suspicion and vicious anger,
fueled by shame and guilt and rage. Cassandra knew about that, too.
Still, Cassandra was glad Elena had been willing to see her. They
did, indeed, both need someone to listen.
Cassandra went into the relative darkness
of Nuestra Senora del Pilar, the church next to the cemetery, and sat in
a pew at the back. The door opened behind her, and two old women,
wearing the old-fashioned mantillas, shuffled inside, dipped their fingers
in the Holy Water in the cool stone bowl, and crossed themselves.
They nodded to her as they walked by, mumbling, "Senora," and Cassandra
nodded back.
<I own you. You are mine, forever.>
Cassandra stayed in the church for a very
long time, her head bowed as if in prayer, silent and alone.
|
"Let me in!" Cassandra pleaded, pounding on
the gate in the temple wall. Roland was coming closer; she could
sense him. "Hurry, please!"
Shuffling footsteps sounded inside, slow scrapes
of sandals on mud- brick tiles, then the wicker shutter swung open.
"Who's there?" the aged priestess asked, the words mumbled through a toothless
mouth.
"Unbar the gate!" Cassandra commanded using
the Voice, and the old woman slowly, maddeningly, complied. Cassandra
shoved the gate open, knocking the woman to the ground. Cassandra
slammed the gate shut and barred it, then turned to help her to her feet.
"I'm sorry," she said, supporting the aged priestess, the old woman's bones
frail and delicate under the gray robe.
"What--," the old woman began, but there was
no time. Roland was coming.
Cassandra turned and ran, across the courtyard,
up the steps, to the foot of the bronze statue of Artemis in the inner
room of the temple--just in time, for he had come. Cassandra breathed
deeply, controlling her panic. She would be safe here. Her
sisters would protect her.
They come a few moments later, one on each
side of Roland, their white veils fluttering about them as they walked.
"She's safe, thank the Goddess!" Roland exclaimed
when he reached the top of the steps and saw her. He hurried over,
then took her gently by the arm. His voice was soft. "I was
so worried about you, Cassandra." His eyes were cold. "You
shouldn't leave me like that."
Cassandra yanked her arm away from him and
went to kneel on the cold marble floor in front of the priestesses.
"I claim sanctuary," she said desperately.
The two women exchanged concerned glances,
and Roland came over to them at once. "I told you she had been ill,"
he said, shaking his head. "My poor wife."
"I'm not his wife!" Cassandra exclaimed furiously.
"I am a priestess; you cannot turn me away."
"She was a novice once," Roland explained
smoothly, "but she's been raving ever since the death of our child from
the fever, pretending she's a priestess. She even imagines we've
never married, never had a baby. I think the grief was too much for
her."
The women nodded in sympathetic understanding,
and the taller one bent to her, lifted her gently to her feet. "Come
now," she said soothingly, "your husband is here to take you home.
He will take care of you, and maybe soon you will have another child."
"No!" Cassandra said, pulling loose and backing
away, frustration and rage beating inside her head, mounting into terror.
She had to make them understand. "He's lying!" she said, using the
Voice to persuade them. "I'm not his wife!"
The women merely stared at her, shaking their
heads. The Voice wasn't working, not now; Roland had already used
it to convince them of his story. Cassandra tried one last time.
"I've never even had a child!"
Roland stepped forward and grabbed her by
the arms. "You're coming home with me. Now." His fingers
tightened, the nails digging into the tender skin. "I don't know
how you could ever forget you were a mother, Cassandra." His voice
went soft with vicious satisfaction. "I'm going to help you remember."
She knew what that meant. "No," she
whispered, then her panic gave her the strength to twist away and run.
Roland did not chase her; he did not need to. He spoke to the priestesses,
and they ordered the guards to drag her from the sanctuary of the temple
and give her to Roland.
He took her back to his house and locked her
in her cage again. "I told you there was no escape, Cassandra," he
said, smiling. The smile disappeared. "But you keep running
away. This time, I'm not going to punish you. I'm going to
make sure you appreciate me enough to stay."
~~~~~
Cassandra sat silently in her chair in her
hotel room, trying to stop the memory. At least she could wake up
from dreams. Maybe a shower would help. She stripped and turned
the water blistering hot, then full cold, then hot again, letting the sensations
distract her from the images. She could still hear the voices.
<Don't ever push me away, Cassandra.
You should never push me away.>
She decided to go running; it was almost dawn.
She was tying her shoes when the telephone rang. "*Oigo?*" Cassandra
said.
"Duran here," the other Immortal identified
herself bluntly. Her voice was tired and rough, as though she hadn't
had any sleep, as though she had been crying--or screaming. "You
might as well come, Cassandra."
Cassandra hesitated. "Is this your invitation,
Elena?"
"I suppose," came the tired reply. "It
doesn't matter anyway, one way or the other."
It did matter. Cassandra remembered
the warning from yesterday, and she did not want Elena to shoot her from
afar and then take her head. Cassandra needed to be absolutely clear
on this point. "Is this your invitation to your *estancia*?" she
repeated.
"Yes! All right?" Belligerence
replaced the weariness. "I'm inviting you. So you can come,
and I won't shoot you."
<I will kill you.>
No. That was inside her head.
Elena was not going to kill her. But Elena sounded more than tired; she
sounded drunk--belligerently, morosely, and dangerously drunk. Well,
Cassandra understood that. It wasn't as if she herself hadn't been drunk
a few times--more than a few times. She said smoothly, letting none
of her concern show, "I'll be over this afternoon."
"Bring your bags."
Cassandra paused again. "My bags?"
"Yes," Elena snapped. "Your bags.
You can stay here, instead of that hotel. There's room." Now
the moroseness replaced the belligerence, and her voice was slow.
"Lots of empty rooms."
<You shouldn't leave me alone. Don't
ever leave me alone.>
Cassandra took a deep silent breath, refusing
to listen to Roland's voice inside her head, knowing Elena would not appreciate
hearing her sigh. This was not going to be easy--two women trained
in killing, one aggressively drunk and one hearing voices, both fighting
demons, trying to talk to each other and make it all better. Still,
what else could they do?
Cassandra took another silent breath and made
her decision. "I'll see you at two o'clock, Elena."
~~~~~
It was nearly two o'clock now. Chickens,
dogs, and half-naked children scattered as Cassandra drove carefully through
the narrow dirt street of the village of Veiloso. The chickens ignored
her, the dogs chased the rented Jeep, and the solemn and unblinking children
watched from shadowed doorways of white-washed houses. The children
were barefoot and dirty, but they weren't starving. It was not a
bad way to grow up. Most children had no interest in baths.
The huddled low houses gave way to fields
tinted with the darkening green of new corn, the only vegetation other
than the tall pampa grass. It was absolutely flat and mostly treeless.
Elena had said her *estancia* was just past the village; Cassandra was
almost there.
She could see the house now: a large, white-washed,
two-story building. As soon as she drove through the gate in the
ornate wrought-iron fence that bordered the yard, the skin on the back
of her neck crawled with the sensation of an Immortal.
<I will find you, Cassandra, no matter
how long it takes.>
But Roland was dead. Kronos was dead.
No one was hunting her now. It must be Elena she sensed, though no one
was in sight. In fact, except for some faraway field hands, she hadn't
seen a soul since she'd gotten close to the house. That was odd,
for a working ranch. Cassandra stopped the car in front of the house, but
did not turn off the motor. Elena was nowhere to be seen.
Cassandra waited, evaluating the terrain.
The gate was open now, but even if it were locked, the iron fence surrounding
the large house would be easy to climb. The house itself was well-kept--the
flowering shrubs neat, the lawn clipped. There were plenty of windows
on both floors, and several sets of French doors. The roof of the
porch on the east side of the house would make it easier to jump.
If she needed to escape, she would have several options, although the house's
isolation might be a problem. She would need a car to get away.
A large black dog ran up and started barking
aggressively at the Jeep, joined soon by a smaller dog. Elena appeared
at the main door and came down the front steps. Her hands were empty,
and she wore only shorts and a shirt, and her feet were bare, too.
She didn't look like she was hiding a gun. Or a sword.
<There can be only One.>
Elena stopped about four paces from the car
and gave a sharp whistle. The dogs stopped barking at once and went
to her, and Elena patted them both on the head, smiling a little.
"Raul," she said to the black one, then sent them running off with a word.
She nodded in greeting. "Cassandra." She had sounded friendlier
to the dog.
Cassandra nodded back, but did not move.
Her hands were still on the steering wheel, and the motor was still running.
Elena's mouth twitched, then she said formally,
bowing this time, "*Bienvenida, Cassandra. Mi casa es tu casa.*"
< Never trust an Immortal.>
Cassandra trusted no one, but she nodded more
graciously now, then turned off the motor and got out. She walked
around the Jeep to stand in front of Elena, but still not too close.
"Gracias," she replied, somewhat reassured by the old Spanish welcoming
phrase.
"Come inside and have a drink," Elena invited,
waving her hand expansively and erratically through the air.
Cassandra did not move. Elena might
be slightly drunk, weakened and exhausted, but she was still very dangerous.
Cassandra suspected Elena Duran would be dangerous until the moment her
head was separated from her body. "I want your word, Elena."
<He'll lie to you. That's all he
ever does.>
"My word?" Elena's remaining eye turned
flat and gun-metal cold.
Cassandra was not impressed. There weren't
many Immortals who could intimidate her with just a look. In fact,
she could think of only one left alive, and his eyes were gray, too.
But Connor MacLeod was half a world away, and Elena was close enough to
kill her. Cassandra said, "I gave you my word. Before I enter your
house, I want your word that you will not try to kill me."
Elena's eye narrowed in irritation.
*The belligerent side of the drunk,* thought
Cassandra wearily. She really didn't want to deal with this.
"Elena," she said reasonably, "I asked you to listen to me. And you
need someone to listen to you." She saw how Elena's chin went up
in defiance and wounded pride, and she reminded her gently, "I've listened
before."
Elena nodded slowly, and some of the coldness
left her face.
Quoting Elena, Cassandra said, "If you can't
promise me you won't try to kill me, then I can't trust you, and we're
finished right now."
Elena laughed then, a clear rippling sound.
"Wise words," she said. "Touche."
Cassandra blinked once in surprise.
She had not expected Elena to be so amused.
Elena took a long, deep breath and held out
her hands, just as Cassandra had done at the church, then waited for Cassandra
to come forward and grasp them in the traditional way. Her voice
was firmer now, not rasping, but there was no amusement in it as she spoke:
"I swear to you, Cassandra-Maria Dolores, that I will not try to kill you
while you are a guest in my house, unless you try to kill me. *Palabra
de honor.*"
She grinned at Cassandra, waiting for an answering
nod. Then she squeezed her hands once and let go. Cheerfully,
she asked, "Want that drink now?"
Cassandra thought about it for only a second.
"Why not?" She laughed a little, surprising herself, and she could
see, surprising Elena as well. "Why not?"
Elena led the way into the house, which opened
up into a large combined living and dining area, an expanse of brown wood,
beige tiles, and ochre walls. Ceramic dishes, pillows, and a pair
of covered sofas provided splashes of bright red and faded yellow.
On the other side of the long oak table to
her left was a closed door, and beyond the dining area she could see the
kitchen at the back of the house. Cassandra followed her hostess
through the living area, building a map of the place in her mind.
A dark Spanish armoire crouched against the wall to her right, between
a stone fireplace and a set of French doors that led to the porch she'd
seen from outside. A wide staircase was behind her, and two open
doors lay ahead, one leading to a small library, the other to an office.
The house seemed as deserted as the yard had
been.
The sad strains of a cello grew louder as
they approached the doors, and Elena led the way into the library.
Cassandra didn't follow her, and she didn't look at the books. A
sword lay across the arms of one of the three large leather chairs, a katana
in a black lacquered sheath. So, Elena had not kept the broadsword
Alvaro had given to her, three and a half centuries before. Perhaps
the katana had been a gift from Duncan. He had a lot of swords.
Cassandra stayed in the doorway and watched.
Elena moved the sword from the chair to the
desk in the center of the room, then reached for the phone, pushed a button,
and said, "It's safe. You can come back." When she sat on the
chair, a striped cat appeared and jumped easily onto Elena's lap.
"Toco," she said, smiling a little, stroking the cat absently, then picked
up a glass half-filled with a well-recognized amber liquid.
Elena motioned to the bottle on the table.
"Help yourself," she said, then took a swallow of her drink. "Or
do you want something besides Scotch?"
Cassandra came into the library, more at ease
now that Elena had put the sword aside and was petting a cat. "Scotch
whisky is fine," Cassandra said as she picked up the bottle. She
read the label and smiled a little. "Especially this brand."
It was a single malt, a Glenlivet. Elena did know the MacLeods.
She poured herself some whisky and sat down
in the chair farthest from Elena, then looked around her. Glass-fronted
shelves, interrupted only by one large bay window, completely covered three
of the available walls. The shelves were full to bursting with old
and new books on every topic imaginable--paperbacks, magazines, manuscripts,
scrolls, and encyclopedias; all in various languages, from Arabic to Japanese.
An entertainment system covered the last wall, holding a large-screen television
and a VCR; collections of videos, cassettes, and CDs; and the source of
the music, a stereo. It was a cozy, lived-in room, obviously a favorite.
<We must leave this place. People
are starting to talk.>
Two people came to the doorway, bringing with
them whiffs of sweat, both horse and human, and of baked bread. There
was a very old Indian woman, less than five feet tall but sturdy, and a
younger Indian man, stocky and muscular, perhaps in his mid-thirties.
The woman's pure white hair was gathered into a bun, and the man's coal-
black hair was tied back with a leather thong at the nape of his neck,
but they resembled each other even so. It was the eyes that made
their family ties clear; eyes that were dark, unwavering and suspicious;
eyes that were staring straight at Cassandra.
A thin sheen of sweat gleamed on the man's
face, even though it was cool inside the air-conditioned house. He
had come from outside, Cassandra realized, when Elena had told them on
the phone that it was safe to return to the house. Safe from her?
Or from something else?
"Carmela, Juanito." Elena waved them
into the library, took a sip, put the glass down and stood. The cat
somehow managed to stay on the chair.
Cassandra stood, recognizing a test.
<Have you forgotten the lesson already?>
"This is the senorita Cassandra," Elena said,
speaking in Spanish. "She'll be my guest for ... a while."
The two Indians had almost as much control
as she did. Cassandra knew her face had betrayed no surprise or confusion
at Elena's words, and the two people looking at her had not changed expression
either. They still looked wary.
Elena turned to Cassandra. "Carmela
Onioco is my housekeeper," she explained, "and Juanito, her grandson, is
my ranch foreman. He runs the place. And very well, too, right,
Juanito?"
"As you say, senorita," he answered, comfortable
and slightly dirty in his working clothes of jeans and chaps, with dusty
riding boots, and a white short-sleeved buttoned shirt. He returned
his eyes to Cassandra at once. "If you need anything, senorita Cassandra,
please let us know." His voice was polite but remote.
<I live to serve you.>
She had said that before. She had even
believed it. Cassandra nodded to him and then to Carmela. "*Mucho
gusto.*"
"*Bienvenida,*" Carmela said briefly, her
hands folded neatly in front of the well-used apron that covered her faded
print dress. Then she turned to Elena. "Does this mean I can go into
the ballroom now?"
Elena had been studying Juanito, but now she
frowned at the old woman. "The ballroom?"
"Can I have it cleaned now, Mariaelena?
The ballroom?"
"Yes, clean it, by all means. Do."
Cassandra glanced down, not wishing to appear
to witness this altercation between the two women. She could still
hear, of course, and she had heard the disapproving tone in Carmela's voice.
Why had Elena not wanted the ballroom cleaned earlier?
Carmela asked, "Do you want something to eat
now, Mariaelena? Your guest might want something? A late lunch?"
Now Cassandra could hear warmth and caring
in the Indian woman's words. Elena was still as lucky as she had
been all those years ago. She still had people who cared about her.
Cassandra looked up again, keeping a small meaningless smile on her face,
the polite mask firmly in place. Once, long ago, she had had people
who cared for her. They had paid for that mistake with their lives--and
with their heads.
<You shouldn't remember him. You're
with me now.>
Roland had not liked to share. But he
was dead, and she didn't have to be alone anymore.
"Yes, lunch. Later," Elena said, sitting
back down and picking up her drink, leaning back comfortably, while Carmela
shook her head disapprovingly, and then the two Indians left.
Cassandra sat down, too, but did not pick
up her drink or relax. She watched her still-drunk, always-dangerous hostess.
Elena lay stretched out in her chair, her head back, her eye closed, the
black patch stark against her cafe-au-lait colored skin. Was the
eyelid under the patch closed, too? Or was there even an eyelid?
Cassandra did not really want to hear that story, but she knew she would
have to, sometime.
The cat was lying on Elena's lap again, purring
softly. Elena held her whisky glass in her right hand, and kept time
to the music with the fingers of her left. That meant that Elena's
strong hand, her sword hand, was free--free to fight, perhaps to kill.
And the sword was close by. Always.
<We live, we grow stronger, we fight.>
Cassandra asked, "What did you mean on the
telephone this morning, when you said it didn't matter if I came here or
not?"
"What?" Elena said, then opened her eye and
sighed. "I meant, well, it doesn't matter to me. I don't care.
Which is, of course, what makes me more dangerous, and he didn't know it
... but you might care, whether you live or die."
"Who didn't know what?" Cassandra was
going to find out exactly what this woman was talking about.
"There may be someone else coming for me,"
Elena said.
"Someone else?" Cassandra asked. "Someone
came for you? When?" If it had been recently, that would explain
the deserted ranch, the phone call, Elena's belligerence ... Taking a head
explained a lot of things. Cassandra started to relax, a little.
Elena nodded, then raised her head.
"This morning, early. By coming here, you might be in harm's way.
I wanted to warn you. But you already said no one was after you."
She narrowed her eye, trying to focus carefully. "Why is that, Cassandra?
Why is no one after you?"
"No one knows who I am," Cassandra answered,
then remembered she had decided not to lie anymore. "Or at least,"
she added, picking up her drink, "those who do know who I am don't want
my head." She was almost certain of that. There were three
Immortals who knew who she was: Duncan, Methos, and Connor. No, four.
Elena knew. And none of them wanted her dead. Not now, anyway.
And the others ... the others were dead, but
not even all of them had wanted her head. The Game wasn't the only
game Immortals could play.
<You look different somehow. Maybe
it's because you're on your feet, instead of on your back.>
Kronos was dead, too. He would never
hurt her again. She took a large swallow of whisky and held tightly
to her glass. They were dead, and they couldn't hurt her anymore.
Except in her dreams. And in her mind.
"Why don't they know?" Elena asked, curious.
<I have no name.>
Cassandra shrugged, then took a welcome sip
of the whisky, tasting it this time, the warmth and bitterness tingling
on her tongue. "I change my name. I move. I don't own
a large estate so that everyone knows I live."
Elena nodded. "Everyone knows where
I live. And everyone comes for me, especially now, especially when
they think I'm weak, vulnerable. Every fucking Immortal from the Rio Grande
down to Tierra del Fuego. Every fucking one."
<He will find you. Just like I did.>
Cassandra studied Elena again, trying to decide
if this woman was stupid or reckless. Not every Immortal would come,
not really, but it only took one. Why would Elena stay here, return
here, knowing she was a stationary target? How could she live here,
just waiting for someone--anyone, everyone--to come for her head?
Elena was both stupid and reckless, Cassandra decided. "What are
you going to do when they come?" she asked Elena.
"What I always do," the young Immortal answered.
"Kill them." She finished off her whisky and poured herself another,
then lifted the bottle in Cassandra's direction with a questioning raise
of her eyebrows.
Cassandra shook her head. Her glass
was still half full. "Like this morning," she said.
"Like this morning." Elena nodded at
her sword, still lying, sheathed, on the desk. "Tha's the reason
for the sword," Elena said, slurring her words. "Is not for you."
Elena was drunk, but she had given her word,
and Cassandra was sure, from her training in the Voice, that Elena was
telling the truth now. She would trust the young Immortal.
A little. For now. "I know," Cassandra said.
Elena smiled, then stood a bit unsteadily.
The cat jumped onto the desk. "I'll go see about that late lunch,"
she said, then left the room. Elena left the sword, too.
<Never forget your sword.>
Cassandra didn't have a sword. She stared
at the weapon as Toco rubbed his face against the cool, black lacquer,
then she set down her glass and stood, for Carmela and Juanito came back
into the library. They had been wary before; now they were determined.
The man's right fist was closed. He was the dangerous one, but it
was the old lady who spoke.
"Are you here to help her, or to hurt her?"
Carmela asked, standing very straight. "Because when she came here
three weeks ago, my strong, beautiful Mariaelena was a shadow of herself.
She was so badly hurt ... her eye...." Carmela stopped and shook
her head, her own eyes glistening, then continued. "The Scotsman,
Senor Mac, helped her a lot, loved her, let her use his strength--but when
the brother came, the angry one, they left."
<We are brothers.>
Cassandra did not need the "angry one" described
further. She knew who "the brother" was. Connor had come, and
something had happened between him and Elena. Then Connor had left,
and Duncan had gone with him. Duncan had abandoned Elena.
<She is just a woman.>
Carmela said, "Senor Mac deserted her.
Now Mariaelena is hurt *and* alone. And she needs someone like Senor
Mac, or like you, someone who understands the kind of person who would
do such a thing to another human being, destroy them like this, because
we don't understand it. All we can do is love her, but we can't help
her beyond that."
Cassandra did not understand that kind of
person, either, but she knew of them. Intimately.
Carmela took a step forward now, her small
figure flanked by the taller form of her grandson. "So, my question
again: are you here to help her or to hurt her? Because understand
this, senorita Cassandra: we *will not permit* you to hurt her."
<Stay away from me, and stay away from
Duncan, or I'll kill you. And then I'll take your head.>
Cassandra understood very well what Carmela
meant. She said soothingly, "I am not here to hurt her." She
almost considered saying, "I would never hurt her," but she knew that would
be a lie, and she was not going to lie anymore. She would hurt Elena
if Elena tried to hurt her. She would protect herself. And
it was still possible that Elena might break her word and attack her; but
these people, who loved Elena, might not realize that. Or they might
not believe it. Or they simply might not care.
Cassandra did not smile, knowing the Oniocos
would not be fooled by a smile. Carmela and Juanito were taking a
dangerous chance, bracing her like this, and they knew it. Even though
they were trying to hide it, she could see their fear in the tension of
their bodies, the strain on their faces. Cassandra was an expert
on fear. It was fear of her, or maybe of Elena herself, or of both.
But they had come anyway, and they deserved the truth.
<Don't lie to me. Not again.
Not ever.>
No more lies. Cassandra looked directly
into Carmela's eyes. "I did not come to hurt Mariaelena," she repeated.
"I came to talk to her. To ask her to listen to me." She glanced
at Juanito, then said more gently, "I did not know what had happened to
her." She still did not know, but she could guess. "But I have
listened to her before, and I will listen to her now," Cassandra added,
hoping this would help to convince them.
"Then you're not here to fight ... to try
to kill her," Juanito said.
"No." Cassandra said the word quickly
and definitely. "I am not here to fight with her. I am here
to talk with her, to help her, if she will let me."
<We exist only to serve.>
She still believed that, believed in the necessity
and the purpose, believed in the vows of the Sisterhood, even after all
this time. At least, she thought she did. She held out both hands
to Carmela in the time-honored gesture of peace.
Carmela's eyes now showed the concern she
had hidden from Elena. The old woman looked closely at Cassandra, then
finally stepped forward and placed her hands in Cassandra's.
The skin on Carmela's hands was callused and
wrinkled, warm and dry. They were hands that had done much work, hands
that had held babies and sutured wounds, hands that had prepared food and
made love. Cassandra held firmly to those hands and said, "I will not hurt
Mariaelena unless she tries to hurt me. I gave my word to her.
Now I give my word to you." She looked at Juanito, including him
in her pledge.
For a moment the Indians studied her, then
Juanito glanced behind him, nodded once, and left the room. Carmela
squeezed back, then dropped Cassandra's hands and stepped back.
A few seconds later Elena re-entered the library.
"Carmela?" Elena asked, her eye narrowing in surprise ... or maybe suspicion.
The old woman turned to her mistress.
"I was just saying to senorita Cassandra that you told me she might like
Greek food, or Middle Eastern. I got some supplies, but I'm not an
expert on Eastern Mediterranean cooking."
Elena chuckled, apparently reassured.
"Carmela lives to feed people. And she probably thinks you're too
skinny. She thinks everyone is too skinny."
Cassandra recognized the evasion in Carmela's
lie, so she smiled back at Carmela and responded to the housekeeper's words
about food. "I like many kinds of food, Carmela."
Carmela gave Cassandra a genuine smile.
"I hope my efforts will please you."
<I cooled it in the river for you.>
Offerings of food, of comfort--ancient ways
to establish trust. Of course, trust had to work both ways.
And Carmela had an ulterior motive. She was doing it for Elena, to
try to blunt the anger of Elena's enemy or to help cement the love of Elena's
friend. But trust had to start somewhere, and Carmela's smile was
real, for now.
So Cassandra would trust, for now. A
little. "Gracias, Carmela," Cassandra said sincerely. In every
culture, in every age, good food soothed the soul. So did grandmothers.
~~~~~
Dinner was served late in the coolness of the summer
evening, as was the Argentine custom. They ate outside on the patio.
On the four corners of the table, tall lanterns burned citronella candles,
in an almost-successful attempt to keep away the mosquitoes. The
candles' lemon scent competed with the sweet smell of the cut flowers,
but matched the bright lemon-yellow of the long tablecloth. Reflections
of the flames flickered in the crystal glasses and serving dishes.
Surprisingly, the two friendly dogs were nowhere
in sight. Cassandra covered the intricate yellow-and-red geometric pattern
on her plate with second helpings of the feast. Cheerful gaucho dance
music--*chacareras,* Elena had explained--filled the night, the pipes,
guitars and voices echoing into the darkness beyond.
Cassandra turned to Carmela, who had been
bustling back and forth from the kitchen, sitting for a moment, rising
again to check on something, and then, finally, joining them. "This
is delicious, Carmela," she said with enthusiasm. Cassandra had not
been interested in food for centuries, but Carmela was a genius in the
kitchen. This time, her trust had been well-placed.
Carmela smiled and nodded, pleased, then glanced
across the table at her mistress.
Elena didn't appreciate the food. She
had eaten almost nothing at lunch, and was eating even less now at dinner.
But she was certainly drinking. As soon as they had gone through
the first bottle of wine, Elena had asked for another, and she looked like
she would finish that one, too, mostly on her own.
Cassandra exchanged glances with the housekeeper,
and Carmela sighed softly, rolling her eyes. Cassandra took the hint.
"Elena, you should try the dolma with the sauce. And the antipasto.
They are excellent."
"I'm sure they are," Elena said, then took
one bite, then a second and third. It was apparently more than she
had eaten in a while, and Carmela beamed at Cassandra. At that moment,
with that small comment, Cassandra had made a friend for life, and it did
not take much effort to smile back.
It was close to midnight when the two Immortals
brought their cognacs back to the library. Elena put on another CD,
this one a lively piano concerto, starting with flute and piano, a fairly
modern style. Cassandra looked at the CD cover before she sat down.
"I'm not familiar with Ravel," she said.
"He was a Frenchman from early this century,"
Elena explained. "He once composed a piano concerto for a pianist
who had lost his right hand in World War I. I've always liked that
story about him. He has his sad moods as well, but generally his
music lifts my spirits. God knows we could both use that, eh?" She
sighed. "Maybe he's too much of a contemporary for you. Duncan
doesn't like anything composed after ... anything too modern," she finished,
but the life had gone out of her voice again.
<I haven't kept up with music lately.>
Cassandra took a sip of her cognac and wondered
if she might one day learn how to play the piano, or if she would ever
play any instrument again. Roland had shattered her harp in 1630,
then used one of the wires to garrote her. She had not played music
or sung since that day.
Elena sat down, and Toco jumped on her lap
again. "Toco," Elena said, smiling and stroking. Then she looked
at Cassandra. "You know," Elena said, the smile gone, "when we first
met, in Toledo, I resented you."
Cassandra remembered the cool, appraising
look the young Mariaelena had given her, rather like the one on Elena's
face now. In Toledo, Cassandra had dismissed it as the normal jealousy
of a favored daughter about her father's "old friend." But at least
Elena was talking now, and this was as good a place as any to start.
"Because of Don Alvaro," Cassandra observed.
"Yes," Elena answered. "My father thought
you were special, and I was ... jealous," she admitted. "Also, that
night after we met, he told me that you'd given him some bad news, about
the death of his dear friend, a man named Ramirez. Of course, I didn't
know at the time that Ramirez had lost his head; I didn't know about Immortals.
But I do remember that my father wept in my arms, like a child. I'd
never seen him so ... hurt, so bereft. Before or since."
So, Alvaro had wept after all, Cassandra realized
in some surprise. Alvaro had given no hint of his feelings in front of
her, of course. *Caballeros* did not cry in front of an enemy, certainly
not an Immortal one. Or in front of a woman, unless she were his
wife, or his daughter. But Ramirez had been well worth tears, and
laughter.
Elena turned to Cassandra and shrugged a little.
"I held it against you, the bearer of bad news." She sighed.
"I was so young...."
Elena was still young, but Cassandra knew
Elena wouldn't want to hear that. "It was not easy news to share,"
Cassandra admitted. "Ramirez was a very good friend of mine. A man
to be appreciated."
Elena leaned forward, putting down her cognac
and wrapping her hands around one crossed knee. "Was he?" she said,
with a small smile, a special gleam in her eye. "There have been
certain men in my life ... who have made my heart sing."
Cassandra knew exactly what that meant.
"Yes," she said, remembering other men such as that, men such as her first
husband Taleer, of the dark laughing eyes and the gentle hands, and men
such as Connor MacLeod. "They make your heart sing," she agreed.
And often weep, but at least you feel something. She took a sip of
her cognac and continued, "I first met Ramirez in Corinth, about a century
before the time of Socrates. He was using the name Xanthos at that
time. He had a very commanding presence."
"Was he your husband then?" Elena inquired.
<I want to buy this one.>
He had been her master. Only later had
they become friends, then lovers. "Not then," Cassandra answered,
responding to Elena's interest. "We were married around 1500 or so,
for about fifteen years." She shrugged. "A marriage of convenience,
for both of us; the legal vows were important in Spain. But it was
still a good marriage."
"You loved him," Elena guessed.
Cassandra gave her a small polite smile that
meant nothing. Had she loved Ramirez? She was not sure.
She did not know how to love, not now, but she had not always been like
this. She could almost remember. "There was ... affection between
us," she said finally. "And respect and caring and comfort." That
meant something, didn't it? Not a grand consuming passionate love,
but still love, of a sort.
<I can't promise never to leave you, but
I will never betray you.>
Perhaps Ramirez had even loved her, a little.
Cassandra blinked back sudden burning tears. "You were right, Elena,"
Cassandra said, realizing now how important he had been to her, how much
she had depended on him through the long empty years. "I loved him.
He could always make me laugh, and he made my heart sing."
"I wish I'd known him," Elena said.
"I've just heard the stories."
Cassandra had to smile at that. "I bet
they're some good ones. He was a spirited man." Elena smiled
back and nodded, and Cassandra said, "Ramirez was a man worthy of trust."
And she had never trusted him enough to tell him about Roland. She
should have. "We were friends first, and then lovers, and our friendship
was the more important to me. Trust such as that is all too rare
in Immortals' lives." She and Elena exchanged glances, then Cassandra
lifted her glass in a silent toast, and Elena returned the gesture.
"And he and I were about the same age," Cassandra said, "I was only about
five hundred years older."
Elena nearly choked on her drink at that,
and Cassandra remembered how very young Elena was; she wasn't even four
hundred. Cassandra said, "I guess that sounds odd, doesn't it?
But we were both over two thousand when we married; there were very few
Immortals who remembered the Greeks and the Romans. We could talk
about those times."
"I was married to an Immortal once," Elena
volunteered. "*Un norteamericano.* Gordon Powell. We
married right after his War between the States and stayed together until
the turn of the century. Then we parted company." She took
a deep breath. "He was killed a few years ago," she finished.
"Actually, that's how I met Duncan, when I was looking for the ... person
who killed Gordon."
Cassandra heard the hesitation, the hidden
meanings in the word "person." Not a standard Immortal beheading
then. But before she could ask, Elena said softly, the bitterness
in her voice mixed with sorrow, "But now Duncan's gone."
<I'll be right back.>
But he hadn't come right back. Duncan
hadn't come back to Elena, either. He had spoken of a special woman
in his life, but Elena was apparently not special enough to make Duncan
stay in the face of Connor's disapproval, even when Elena obviously needed
his help. Arrogant, unfeeling, self-centered ... they were two of a kind,
those MacLeods. They were like all other men. Cassandra took
a deep breath and controlled her anger. Elena didn't need that anger
now; she needed someone to care about her. She needed to talk. "Why
did he leave?" Cassandra asked softly.
"It was my fault," Elena said, picking moodily
at the threads in her shirt.
<It's my fault. He has a right to
be angry with me.>
"Elena--," Cassandra began, but Elena stood
so suddenly that the cat actually fell off her lap. Cassandra stood
too, but Elena made no attempt to attack her, and Cassandra relaxed.
A little.
"You know, it's been a long day," Elena said.
"And it started very early. I think I'll go to bed now."
Cassandra nodded. "I feel tired myself."
"You know where your room is. If you
need anything, let me know. *Buenas noches,* Cassandra." She left
abruptly.
"*Hasta manana,* Elena," Cassandra called
after her, then sat down again and picked up her drink. The cat leaped
from the floor to the arm of her chair, and Cassandra held out her hand
for Toco to sniff. The formalities observed, Toco proceeded to step onto
her lap and turn around before settling down and purring. Cassandra
stroked the soft fur, wondering just how Connor and Duncan had managed
to convince Elena it was her fault they had walked out on her.
<You deserve to be punished, don't you?>
No.
<Tell me that you're sorry.>
No!
<You deserve it!>
NO!
Cassandra shoved the cat off her lap and went
to the guest bedroom at the top of the stairs, taking her drink with her.
The large room was comfortable and welcoming--a bright multi-colored wool
blanket on the four-poster bed, an antique oak highboy dresser and matching
rolltop desk, a rocking chair in the corner.
Cassandra got ready for bed, but didn't even
bother trying to go to sleep, not with the voices so strong. Maybe
she could finish the book she had started on the airplane. She settled
in the rocking chair, her drink by her side, and tried to lose herself
in the improbable adventures of the Gray Lensman.
When Cassandra first heard the howl, she thought
it was an animal outside, maybe one of the dogs. But it was human,
and it was coming from inside the house. She put her book down on
the desk and opened the door. The black dog, Raul, crouched whimpering
in front of Elena's closed door at the end of the corridor. The keening
came from behind the door.
Cassandra pulled her white cotton robe over
her thigh-length T- shirt, then walked down the hall and knocked.
"Elena?"
Screaming suddenly replaced the wailing.
"!No! !No, no! !No, por favor, no!"
Cassandra opened the door, catching a whiff
of the strong smell of fear and sour sweat in the room. Raul, who
had pushed past her into the room, now backed away, bumping against Cassandra's
thighs. He whimpered piteously, torn between duty to his mistress
and his own fear. "Raul, *!largate!*" Cassandra ordered, and he untangled
himself from her legs and ran out. Cassandra went in.
The moon had been full two nights ago, but
the harshness of electric lights erased the silver light coming through
the open French doors on the opposite side of the room. Every lamp
in the huge bedroom was turned on: all four lamps in the sitting area to
her left, the Tiffany lamps on either side of the bed, the bathroom light.
Even the small reading lamp on top of the baby grand piano was on.
The wailing stopped, and Cassandra tentatively
approached the two antique four-poster beds that had been pushed together
and swathed in gossamer netting. Elena was lying curled on the far
side in the middle of the king-size mattress, her arms wrapped around herself.
She was naked, and her thin figure showed dark against the white cotton
sheets.
As Cassandra came closer and pulled up the
netting, Elena crawled up on the bed toward the headboards, then shrank
against the dark wood, her eye wild with fear. "*!No! !Por
favor, no mas!*" she cried out, obviously reacting to Cassandra's presence,
the presence of another Immortal.
Cassandra knew Elena was in the grip of a
nightmare; she knew what this was, what it felt like. Elena's katana
was lying on the floor, next to the bed, and Cassandra surreptitiously
pushed the sword farther underneath the bed with her foot. She made
no move to touch the other woman. "Elena," she said softly.
"It's Cassandra."
Elena glanced at her quickly and blinked.
She was panting now, instead of screaming, and she sat up a little, trying
to orient herself. But she was still hunched over, still trying to
protect herself.
"Elena," Cassandra said firmly, "you're at
home. You're at your *estancia.* No one is going to hurt you."
Now Elena looked at Cassandra and nodded in recognition. Her eye
was still dilated, her nostrils still flared, but at least she was awake.
Cassandra sat down very carefully on the edge of the bed. Before
she could say anything else, quick running footsteps sounded in the hall,
and they were not from a dog.
Juanito rushed panting into the room, pale-faced
and frightened, yet determined, still wearing the clothes from earlier
that day, minus the boots and the chaps. His shirt was unbuttoned
and untucked. He was holding a pistol in his hand, hidden down by
his leg, and he was looking straight at her. The dark circles under
his eyes made him look a little like a raccoon. Apparently he hadn't
slept either.
Cassandra stood again and moved away from
the bed. Did anyone ever sleep in this house?
"Senorita! Are you all right?" he asked,
still breathing a little hard from running up the stairs. He came
closer to Elena, but never took his eyes from Cassandra.
Elena nodded as she hurriedly pulled the sheet
over herself. She was having trouble catching her breath.
Cassandra waited for a moment, but Juanito
didn't raise the pistol, so she went to the night table next to the bed.
There were two glasses, a bottle of Scotch, and a crystal pitcher filled
with water. "Drink this, Elena," Cassandra said, handing the other
woman a glass of water. Then she stepped away from the bed again.
Elena took several long swallows, then she
nodded again and spoke to her ranch foreman. "It's just a nightmare.
I'll be fine, Juanito," she said to him. "You don't have to stay
again tonight." She turned and said hesitantly, "Cassandra ...?"
Cassandra nodded in return, then said to Juanito,
"I will stay with her. All night, if necessary. I do ... understand."
Obviously, Elena had not seen the gun that Juanito was still holding, still
hiding.
Ignoring Cassandra for the moment, Juanito
spoke to Elena again. "Do you want me to go, senorita?"
"Si," Elena said. "Por favor."
He nodded, slipping the pistol surreptitiously
into the back of his waistband, then backed away toward the door.
On the threshold, he asked, "Can I get you anything, senorita? Shall
I call *la abuela* this time?"
"No." She managed a weak smile.
"Gracias, hombre."
"*A sus ordenes, senorita.*" With one
last piercing glance, he nodded at Cassandra and left, closing the door
behind him.
Elena shuddered, and Cassandra took the glass
from Elena's trembling hand and set it on the night stand. She pushed
the netting further back and sat on the edge of the bed again, a little
closer this time. "Elena," she said, using the training the Voice
had given her to make her words soothing and reassuring, "You're safe.
No one will hurt you now." She knew Elena would need to hear that
again. And again. And again.
Elena took long, gulping breaths, trying to
calm down, but they didn't work very well. "He burned me," she murmured.
Her voice was almost unintelligible, and so
low Cassandra had to lean forward and lower her head to Elena's mouth to
hear. The younger woman's breath was sour; it felt very hot against
Cassandra's ear.
Elena spoke more rapidly. "He liked
to burn me, and he wouldn't stop, and I couldn't make him stop! I
gave him everything, everything he wanted, everything I had, and I had
nothing left to offer him, nothing left to give! But he still wouldn't
stop burning me. No matter what I did, what I said, how I begged
him, how I screamed and promised and pleaded, it wasn't enough. He
wouldn't stop; I couldn't get him to stop!" She was talking louder
now, faster, an edge of hysteria in her voice, nearly sobbing.
<No! No more! Please don't
hurt me!>
Cassandra held Elena in her arms and made
the soft shushing sounds women used for their children, sounds she had
used for the children she had loved, sounds she had used for Roland.
She held Elena until the trembling ceased and the soft sobbing eased into
simple gasps for air. "You're safe now, Elena," she said one more
time. "You're safe; he can't hurt you now." Cassandra didn't
even know who "he" was, and she couldn't make any promises about later,
but for now, at least for tonight, Elena was safe.
Cassandra breathed in time with Elena, then
very gradually slowed her own breathing, knowing Elena would follow her
lead. Finally, Cassandra asked, "Who is he, Elena?"
Elena pulled away, then leaned her head against
the tall oak headboard and closed her eye. She was wearing a white
eyepatch, and it made her look paler, sicker somehow, than the black one.
For a moment, she said nothing, then Elena leaned forward again and put
her right hand over her missing eye, as though it hurt--a phantom pain.
Finally, Elena whispered, "His name ... was B-Bethel."
Names of men like that were always hard to
say, but Elena had used the past tense. "He's dead?" Cassandra asked,
wanting to make sure.
Elena nodded.
"Good." That was one less torturing
murderer in the world. Cassandra knew there had been no ancient geas laid
on Elena to prevent her from protecting herself. Elena had not had
to wait three thousand years for someone else to kill her tormentor for
her. "How did it feel?" Cassandra asked, curious--envious. "How did
it feel to kill him?"
But Elena shook her head, her eye still closed.
"I didn't kill him. Connor MacLeod did."
Cassandra blinked in surprise. Connor?
Why was he involved? Shouldn't that be Duncan's job, protecting--or at
the very least avenging--Elena? Perhaps later, she might ask.
Now they should try to sleep; it was nearly two in the morning. "Elena,
should we lie down?"
Elena shuddered one last time, then nodded,
in control of herself again. For now. "Yes, I would like you
to stay, Cassandra." She drew another shaky breath, then admitted
in a low voice, "I ... I am ... afraid ... to be by myself. And I
can't ask Juanito, or Carmela, again ... I don't want them involved in
this."
They were already involved. There was
no possible way to protect them. But Cassandra understood why Elena
did not want to burden mortals, especially mortals she cared about, with
her ugly, violent, Immortal "business."
Cassandra swallowed her anger. Elena
did not need anger; she needed love and reassurance, preferably from someone
who loved her, and Duncan was not here. "Yes, of course, I'll stay,
Elena," Cassandra said, still using overtones of the Voice to soothe and
comfort. "I will not leave you." She glanced at the bottle
of Scotch on the night table. "Would you like some whisky?"
"Courage in a bottle," Elena said. "Yeah.
Why not?"
Cassandra poured them each a drink, then clinked
her cup against Elena's. "To trust," she said. It was more
a hope than a reality as yet, but at least they had started.
"To trust," Elena repeated, and they both
knocked back their drinks.
"Shall I turn out the lights?" Cassandra asked,
and at Elena's nod, Cassandra went around the room, flipping switches,
leaving only the bright moonlight for illumination. She took off
her robe, then lay down beside Elena and sank back gratefully into the
bed and the soft feather pillow. The cotton sheets were slightly
damp from Elena's sweat, and a cooling breeze came in from the open French
doors. Cassandra closed her eyes and tried to relax, but Elena wasn't lying
quietly.
She twisted and turned, then took her feather
pillow and fluffed it, punched it twice, and twisted her head into it until
she felt comfortable. When Elena was done, Cassandra ventured softly,
"You are very lucky, Elena. No, you are very blessed."
Elena made a bitter, choking sound that was
supposed to be a laugh. "'Affliction is a treasure,' eh? Why would
you think I'm blessed, Cassandra?"
<May all your friends desert you!
May you be alone all your days!>
Cassandra shoved the ancient curse away.
Not all her days. Not everyone. Connor was her friend now,
and he was a man she could trust. Mostly. She said to Elena,
"Because you have such friends."
Elena sighed. "I was afraid of this.
What did Carmela and Juanito tell you? They didn't threaten you,
did they? Because whatever they said, they wouldn't--"
"They just wanted me to give them my word,
the same way I gave you my word," Cassandra interrupted, hurrying to reassure
the younger Immortal that her people hadn't done anything wrong.
Though of course, they had threatened her, and they would hurt her, too.
The pistol in Juanito's hand was proof of that. She could not hold
it against them; they did it out of love. "That is why you are blessed,
because you have people who care about you. Because you have a family,
Elena. Because you have a home."
"A home," Elena repeated, and now there was
no bitterness in her voice, only some wonder and tiredness. "This
is why I stay. It's home."
Cassandra heard the comfort Elena took in
that word, and Cassandra understood it, even if she could not share it.
In spite of what had happened, Elena Duran was still lucky, still blessed,
and she did not appreciate it. After a while, the other woman's breathing
slowed and became regular as Elena fell asleep in the safety of her own
home.
Cassandra stared at the clouds that passed
in front of the moon, wondering what her own nightmare would be about tonight.
<May your enemies come back again and again
to haunt you!>
Wondering if the voices in her mind would
ever be silent.
|
When Elena awoke the next morning, she was
surprised to see bright sunshine coming though the French doors.
She hadn't slept this late for four and a half months. She hadn't
slept this long, either. Bethel had not let her sleep very much, not for
the twenty-three days he had held her prisoner. And after that, even
after she had escaped, even after he had been beheaded, she still had not
been able to sleep. Bethel owned her nights. But she had slept
last night, for a few hours, and she knew why. She turned to look
at the woman next to her.
Cassandra was still peacefully asleep, as
she had been asleep all night. She did not have screaming nightmares.
Her long hair was spread over her pillow, her eyes--both her eyes!--closed,
her cheek pillowed on her hand. Cassandra had said that Roland had
chased her and brutalized her for three thousand years, but she bore no
marks of it. She was still beautiful, and Elena hated her for it.
Elena got out of bed abruptly and poured herself
a drink. It was still early, but not too early for a drink.
Wasn't it? It didn't matter. She had not done any drinking
during her four days of self- imposed imprisonment in her dojo. But
she had had a few drinks on Sunday, after she had met Cassandra at the
church. Seeing the other woman had brought back memories which Elena
did not want to remember.
Then yesterday, after that other Immortal,
Horowitz, had come for her just before dawn, Elena had had more than a
few drinks. A lot more. At least she was getting drunk on good,
single-malt whisky, instead of that cheap rotgut Scotch she had drunk before
she had met the MacLeods. She lifted her glass in a silent toast
to them. That was one thing they had left her--something good to
get drunk on.
But before Elena could toss her drink down,
Cassandra awoke and looked at her. Elena paused with the glass halfway
to her lips, aware of the picture she presented. She was stark naked,
still much too thin, standing there at eight o'clock in the morning with
a shot of whisky in her hand. At least she didn't have to worry about
brushing her hair. She gave Cassandra an ironic glance and tossed
back the whisky. "Want a drink?" she asked, not at all politely.
Cassandra sat up in bed, her hair falling
gracefully around her shoulders. "Yes."
"Good. I don't like to drink alone."
She walked over and handed the bottle to Cassandra, noting it was almost
empty. No problem. Plenty more where that came from.
"Nor I."
"Yeah." Elena waited to see if the older
Immortal was going to say anything about last night or smile at her in
a cheerful greeting. She waited for the knowing glance, the strength and
confidence in the face of Elena's weakness and humiliation. Just
like the night before, when Elena had screamed in fear and terror, humiliating
herself, showing her weakness. Then she had asked Cassandra to stay
with her, like a child afraid of the dark. Elena waited for the calm,
condescending words designed to soothe her ego, to tell her it was all
right, that it was understandable, that Cassandra knew how she felt.
Elena did not want to hear any of it.
But Cassandra said nothing, merely sat in
the bed and sipped at her drink, looking out the window, beautiful and
composed.
"Well, I can't stand around here forever,"
Elena said, as she clunked her glass on the night table. "I'm getting
dressed and going downstairs. Although Carmela will insist I eat."
Elena waited for Cassandra to tell her again how lucky she was.
Cassandra merely nodded, still silent, then
tossed back her own drink. She leaned over and set her empty glass
next to Elena's. "Maybe after breakfast we could talk," she suggested,
stretching both arms over her head, revealing the full roundness of her
breasts under the fabric of her T-shirt. Cassandra wasn't too thin.
"Well. I'm about talked out, but you
haven't been doing a lot of talking, Cassandra. I think it's your
turn," Elena snarled. She stalked to the bathroom and slammed the
door behind her.
When she finished her shower and came back
into her bedroom, Cassandra was gone.
~~~~~
Elena walked into the large dining room warily,
amid sounds of bright chatter and laughter.
Cassandra and Carmela were sitting at the
long oak table, talking animatedly. It was the first time Elena had
seen Cassandra seem interested in anything. Cassandra even sounded
happy. She was dressed in a white cotton shirt and blue shorts which
revealed her long tanned legs. Her hair lay in shining waves along
her back and shoulders.
Elena laid her sword, still sheathed, on the
sideboard, then set the empty Scotch bottle next to it. There were
fresh flowers on the table and a lot of food. Too much food: banana
bread, rolls, *empanadas,* bananas, fresh strawberries. The smells
made her sick. "Coffee, please, Carmela," she said as she made her way
to the head of the table and sat down.
"Just coffee?" Carmela asked, getting up and
standing next to the table.
Elena saw the old woman glance quickly toward
the sideboard. She wondered if Carmela was going to say anything
about her sword, or about the empty bottle. She had better not.
Carmela said, "Please have some strawberries,
Mariaelena. And I made these *empanadas,* just for you. They're
chick--"
"I'm not hungry, Carmela," Elena interrupted,
leaning forward. "Just coffee." Her voice was a little thick, and
more than a little hostile. She added, "Gracias," but she couldn't
make even that sound gracious.
Carmela stared at her for a moment, opened
her mouth, closed it, then poured Elena some coffee. She glanced
once at Cassandra, who was staring at her plate of food, and went into
the kitchen.
Elena sat back, sulking. The pleasant
conversation had ended at her entrance, and the cheerful atmosphere had
disappeared. At least the espresso was strong and hot. Elena
didn't drink it in a little demitasse. She added milk and more sugar,
then wrapped her hands around the mug, trying not to notice how bony her
long, thin fingers looked. She gulped her coffee, just as she had
been gulping her whisky while she dressed. Scottish coffee, she could
call it, just in two separate doses. It roiled in her stomach as
she watched Cassandra eat. Carmela came back with a platter
of eggs, and the aromas of onions, garlic, and green peppers wafted behind
her. Elena's stomach was doing more than roiling now. One of
Carmela's great-grandchildren, a boy of about five, came out of the kitchen
with her, but the old woman sent him back into the kitchen with a curt
word.
Elena wondered if Carmela was afraid of her,
afraid that she might somehow hurt a child. She wanted to be angry
about that, but at the moment, she didn't much care what Carmela thought.
What anyone thought.
Raul came into the dining room, his nails
clicking on the floor tiles, and Carmela shooed at him, waving her apron
with her left hand, balancing the platter of eggs in her right. "That
dog is always sneaking inside," she complained. "*!Vamos, largate,
condenao!*"
"He stays," Elena said tersely.
Carmela glanced at her mistress, her lips
pressed together. She slammed the food down on the table and went
back into the kitchen. She did not return to the dining room.
Raul, who had been backing away and whining
softly under the housekeeper's fluttering apron attack, now came forward
again. He sniffed at Elena delicately, then went around the table
to sit next to Cassandra, pressing his nose against her thigh.
"Hola, Raul," Cassandra murmured softly, caressing
the dog's head.
*Great!* Elena thought. Now all that
was needed was for the horses to trail after her, like ducklings, and for
the children to start calling her Auntie, *tia Cassi.* Maybe Cassandra
would like to move in permanently. Everyone liked her--Carmela, the
cat, the dogs. Maybe they preferred her.
For a long, silent ten minutes Elena watched
Cassandra eat. Cassandra had a good appetite. Elena wondered if this
Roland had fed her delicacies while he was busy terrorizing her.
Finally, she couldn't stand it any longer. She shoved her chair back
from the table with an audible scrape on the floor. "Are you done
eating yet?" she asked.
Cassandra set down the remaining half of her
roll. "Yes."
"Excellent," Elena said as she stood.
"We didn't finish our tour of the house yesterday." There was one
place she really wanted to show this woman, one place she was sure Cassandra
wouldn't be so damn condescending, so damn cheerful, so damn ... normal;
one place Elena felt in control. "Let's go see the ballroom."
Elena picked up her sword from the sideboard,
then unlocked the door to what used to be the ballroom. Elena didn't
do much dancing these days, and the room was outfitted as a dojo now.
On the threshold, she took a deep breath. It smelled of lemon and
oil; Carmela had taken her chance yesterday to make sure the room was thoroughly
cleaned. The wooden floor gleamed, the mirrors that lined the inside
wall sparkled, and bright sunshine came through the French doors that led
to the outside.
Long years of training took over, and Elena
bowed quickly at the door, then walked inside. Even the many weapons
that hung on the wall were clean and shining. Someone had dusted
every single sword, the ax as well. She looked them over, wishing
her broadsword were here, the one her father had given her, the one she
had sworn to herself she would die before losing, the one Claude Bethel
had taken from her.
_____________________________
4 October 1996
Bethel's Basement
______________________________
When Elena finally "revived" in Bethel's basement
in New York City, she was strapped, naked, to a metal chair. Leather
bindings wrapped around her wrists and ankles; bands strapped tight across
her waist and forehead.
Bethel picked up her sword and examined it
carefully. "An exquisite work of art. Toledo, of course.
Oh, don't worry," he said smiling. "I promise I won't use it to behead
you."
But then he did something far worse.
He clamped her sword in a vise, then leaned his weight against it suddenly,
snapping it. Elena wailed, grief and sorrow flooding over her rage, knowing
she would remember the sound of her broken sword forever.
"I will break you, Maria Elena Duran, just
like I broke your blade," he hissed directly in her face, his breath visible
in the cold, windowless basement.
______________________
26 November 1996
______________________
He had kept his promise. For twenty-three
days, he had hurt her; he had *broken* her. And he had done it for
fun, because he enjoyed it.
Elena shook off the memory and walked over
to the wall of swords. At least Don Alvaro's own sword was still here.
Xavier St. Cloud, the Moorish Immortal who had beheaded her father
in 1659, had pretty much looted the house before leaving, but he hadn't
taken her father's weapon. She still had that.
She put her katana down on the floor, then
pulled Don Alvaro's sword down from the wall and slowly unsheathed it.
The soft swish it made was familiar, comforting. She swallowed over
the sudden lump in her throat. As she balanced the weapon in her
hand, she noted it was too heavy for her. All the swords were too
heavy, except for her katana, and she couldn't handle even that for too
long without getting exhausted. She turned to see Cassandra still
standing in the doorway, Raul by her side. Cassandra didn't have
to know the swords were too heavy, or how exhausted she was.
"Come in, come in!" she invited, with a broad
sweep of the sword in her hand.
Cassandra sent the dog away, then entered
the ballroom, but made no move to come closer. She did not look scared,
only watchful.
Elena wanted to see Cassandra look scared.
"Want to spar?" she suggested, doing a practice lunge with the sword.
Cassandra shook her head. "I came here
to talk."
"Come on, Cassandra. We could both use
a little exercise."
She shrugged, that small elegant shrug that
Elena hated. "Maybe I'll go running later."
Elena raised her head at that word, like a
hound picking up a scent. "Oh, yes, you'll go running. You're good
at running, aren't you? But are you good at fighting?"
"I didn't come here to fight, Elena.
And you said it was my turn to talk."
"We won't be fighting." Elena put the
sword back in its scabbard, then walked over and picked up two *bokken,*
practice swords made of bamboo. "Just practicing."
She tossed one of them to Cassandra.
The other woman caught it easily, but held it stiffly, away from her body.
Elena smiled to herself. It was good to see *Dona Perfecta* wasn't
good at everything. "We could start with the *bokken,* then use steel
blades later," Elena suggested. "Do you want to get your sword now?"
She was frankly curious as to what kind of weapon Cassandra had.
Elena hadn't seen any signs of one yet. It was probably still upstairs,
in Cassandra's luggage.
Cassandra stood by the door, her hand gripping
the hilt of the bamboo weapon. But she said nothing, and she did
not move.
So Elena stepped toward her, a gloating and
incredulous smile on her face. "I don't believe it. You don't
have a sword, do you?"
Cassandra did not respond.
Elena's smile broadened. This was even
better. "Tell me, Cassandra," she asked, "just how the hell do you
fight?"
Cassandra didn't respond to that, either.
Elena snapped her fingers in mocking realization.
"Oh wait, I forgot. You don't fight; you run. You run for decades.
You run for centuries. Hell, you run for millennia! Congratulations
on breaking the record for total, long-lasting, mind-numbing cowardice!"
Cassandra tossed the *bokken* toward Elena.
It slid across the polished wooden floor, then stopped at Elena's feet.
"I guess this isn't a good time to talk." Cassandra turned to go.
Elena wasn't going to let her get away that
easily. She followed her to the door and yelled after her, "Hey,
you're still good at running, Cassandra. Must be all that practice
you've had!"
Elena watched as Cassandra moved smoothly
through the dining room. The other woman disappeared from sight, but Elena
could hear her footsteps sedately going up the stairs.
Elena slammed the door shut, then thought
about what had happened. Why was Cassandra running? Cassandra had
not looked afraid, just ... what? Shy? Weak? Surely no
Immortal her age was quite that timid. Hell, this woman had just
gone after the Four Horsemen! So why was she running from Elena,
from a few harsh words? She had said she wanted to talk, but she
didn't say anything to defend herself. She didn't fight back; she
didn't attack. She just stood there, and then walked away.
The more Elena thought about it, the less
angry she got. And the more she decided she wanted to find out what
the hell was going on in Cassandra's twisted, anguished psyche. She
needed to get the old Immortal to talk; and that meant she needed to get
a real reaction out of Cassandra. More than just running.
So she went back for her katana, opened the
door, and followed the older Immortal upstairs. Cassandra had gone
in her bedroom and closed the door. Elena burst through, not even
bothering to knock.
Cassandra kept her back to Elena and stared
out the window at the stables beyond the fence.
Elena didn't like being ignored. She
took another two steps into the room. "I can't believe you just ran
away from me like that. Don't you get tired of being a coward?" she asked,
calmer now, with a mixture of curiosity and condescension.
Cassandra turned slowly and deliberately,
then examined Elena. Her gaze was disinterested and clinical, and
it paused on the sword Elena held in her right hand. "Don't you get
tired of being a murderer?" Cassandra asked, sounding almost bored.
Elena stared at her, incredulous. "All
Immortals kill, Cassandra. And you must have, too, at some point.
It's what we do. It's not murder."
Cassandra gave a small snort of derision.
Elena stiffened in annoyance. Even this
woman's snorts were elegant. Elena's annoyance turned to contempt,
and she gave up on being calm, which wasn't working anyway. "At least
I do my own killing! I don't fuck a man so he'll do it for me."
Elena was very pleased to see Cassandra's eyes narrow. A reaction
from *Dona Perfecta* at last! Elena kept pushing. "How the
hell have you lived for three thousand years?"
Elena knew Duncan had killed Roland for Cassandra,
and Duncan had killed Kronos and Caspian, too. Cassandra had offered
Duncan her body so he would do her killing for her. What a whore!
Elena's snort of derision wasn't elegant, but it was truly heartfelt.
She examined Cassandra in the same insulting, clinical way. "How
many men have you fucked over the centuries so they would protect you?"
Cassandra took a step forward and spoke slowly
and deliberately. "Connor killed Bethel. You didn't." Her voice
wasn't calm now; it was filled with contempt. "You couldn't.
You let a man do your killing for you, too."
Elena was stung, but she tried, unsuccessfully,
not to let it show. But what Connor had done was different, *!cono!*
Elena said hotly, "I didn't fuck Connor to get him to kill B-Bethel for
me!"
Cassandra looked at her, her gaze lingering
on the eyepatch and the stubble of hair, then moving thoroughly over the
rest of her. Cassandra was not being clinical and dispassionate now; she
was judging. She smiled slightly and said slowly, almost drawling
out the words, "No. I don't think fucking you would have been much
of an incentive for him."
Elena felt her stomach muscles contract as
though she'd been punched. Her cheeks were burning, and her breath
caught in her throat. The fucking bitch! How dare she come
to her house and then mock her like this, ridicule her pain? *!Puta
arrogante!* She closed the distance between them in a few quick strides,
then breathed right in Cassandra's face. "You know what I think,
Cassandra? I don't think you came here to talk. I think you
came here to gloat, to make yourself feel superior. I think you lied
to me." She took a deep breath, barely controlling the urge to break
that beautiful nose. She had promised she would not attack.
But if Cassandra attacked her first....
And if she didn't, well, Elena could still
use words. "You're a liar, Cassandra. And you're a coward."
Cassandra did not respond to that. Not
even by a flicker of an eyelash. Nothing. She was still the
ice princess, still confident, calm, controlled.
Elena was not calm, and she didn't want Cassandra
to be, either. So Elena struck at the one thing Cassandra had responded
to. "And, Cassandra, you are a whore."
Cassandra drew in her breath sharply.
So, the ice princess wasn't frozen, after
all, Elena gloated. Cassandra wasn't just standing there anymore, either.
She was rigid, her hands clenched into fists. For a minute, Elena
thought Cassandra was actually going to hit her. Elena smiled to
herself, not at all bothered by that prospect. If Cassandra tried
to hit her, then she would be breaking her word not to fight, and that
meant Elena could fight, too. And Elena wanted to fight.
Cassandra let her breath out slowly and stepped
back. Her voice was not at all calm now. It was low and angry,
and malevolently cold. "And you, Elena, are an ungrateful, vicious bitch."
She looked Elena over once again. Now her voice changed to amused
sarcasm. "Is that why Connor and Duncan left you?" She added sweetly,
"All alone?"
It was Elena who was rigid now. Cassandra
was good at this kind of fighting at least, and she was fighting back now.
Well, enough damn words. Elena tossed her katana on the bed and reached
with both hands for Cassandra's throat.
Cassandra moved back quickly and said, "*Palabra
de honor,* Elena! Have you forgotten that already? Or will you forswear
yourself? Are you a liar, Elena Duran?"
Elena froze. Well, Cassandra obviously
wasn't going to run this time, but she wasn't cool, calm and collected
anymore, either. Elena had finally gotten some reaction from Cassandra.
It made Elena feel just a little better. She closed her fists but
lowered her arms, then smiled contemptuously at the older Immortal.
She was sure, even now in her weakened condition, that she could defeat
Cassandra in a fight. But Elena wasn't going to fight. They
had agreed they would not. However, Elena knew how to use words,
too. "A liar like you?" she hissed viciously.
Cassandra took a deep breath. "Yes,"
she admitted. "Like me." She took another deep breath and nodded.
"I have been a liar. But I'm trying not to lie anymore, Elena.
And I did not lie to you. I did not come here to fight. Or
to spar. Or to gloat. I came here to talk, to make us both
feel better." She circled Elena, never taking her eyes off her, and
backed away toward the door. "Let me know when you are ready," she
said, then left the bedroom.
Elena stood for a moment. Cassandra
was like a damn ghost, gone again! Elena wanted to strike out, to
hit someone, to hurt anyone, but Cassandra was gone, and Elena had given
her word, *!carajo!,* her fucking word. She couldn't break that,
or the traditional rules of hospitality. No matter that Bethel had
stripped her bare; she had to regain her sense of self. She turned
to go, then caught a glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror in the
corner.
When she saw what was left of her, she remembered
something a nun had said to her once. *No somos nada.* We are
nothing. She was nothing, she was alone, and Cassandra's visit only
emphasized that fact. Elena picked up her katana from the bed and
slammed the lacquered hilt into her reflection. The mirror shattered,
and shards of splintered glass lay around her feet. "Oh, yes," she
muttered to herself. "I feel so much better after our talk."
For long minutes she let the rage and self-pity
fill her. If only Duncan hadn't left her; if only Connor hadn't been
insulted and taken Duncan with him; if only Bethel hadn't captured her
and tortured her; hell, if only she weren't an Immortal....
Elena stopped and snorted. If she weren't
an Immortal, she'd be in a grave. Dead. Completely. Rotted
away to dry bones. And in spite of everything, Elena Duran wanted
to live.
She got herself under control and started
breathing more deeply, thinking about what had been said. She had
set out to get a reaction out of Cassandra, and that was exactly what she
had gotten. And Cassandra had gotten a reaction out of her. The problem
with pushing people, Elena, she said to herself wryly, is that sometimes
they push back. Well, she'd gotten Cassandra to push back.
Now what? More talking, of course. But this time, maybe....
She went back downstairs and found Cassandra
sitting at one of the tables on the patio outside the dining room, her
hands lying empty in front of her on the tabletop. The bright morning
sun glinted off the bronze highlights of Cassandra's long hair.
Elena went into the library to get the half-full
bottle of Scotch she'd left there the night before. She picked up
two glasses from the liquor cabinet, then walked out onto the patio and
sat down across from the other woman.
Raul came around the corner of the house and
approached the table happily, but stopped a few meters away. His
tail went down between his legs, and he stretched out his neck, sniffing
delicately, but not getting any closer. Cassandra did not look at
Elena or the dog.
Elena poured them both a drink, not even bothering
to ask Cassandra if she wanted it. She pushed one drink toward Cassandra,
then leaned back in her chair with her own, letting the sun warm her.
Beyond the house, in the direction the dog
had come from, a group of children had started a game of *futbol.*
A girl of about eight years kicked the ball high, and Elena watched its
trajectory until it landed again amidst a pile of screaming, laughing kids.
Elena sat and let her eye lose focus for a
moment, simply sipping and savoring the peaty taste of the Scotch.
She could actually get to like this poison. Elena wondered if she
could really do without it, for now, or if she was hooked again, as she'd
been in the past. An addict. An alcoholic. She took a deep
breath; she'd think about that later.
Right now, she had a different problem.
Elena knew that Cassandra would never feel better if she kept her anger,
fear, whatever, bottled up inside. And Elena remembered what she'd
noticed about Cassandra before, during those long weeks on that Atlantic
crossing. Elena was convinced now that Cassandra's rigid control was not
about confidence or calm. It was about fear. But Roland was
dead. Why was Cassandra still afraid?
*I'm an idiot!* Elena thought suddenly.
*A self-centered idiot! Bethel is dead, and I'm still afraid. Every
fucking night. I can't even say Bethel's name without stuttering.*
Maybe Cassandra had nightmares, too.
Probably. Of course she did! She just wasn't a screamer; it was more
of that rigid discipline. Well, she'd need to relax some of that anal-retentive
control if she was ever going to be free. And Elena could help.
"Cassandra," she said softly. As soon
as they made eye contact, Elena continued, in an almost soothing voice,
"You can let it go, you know. You can let yourself get angry if you
want. Getting angry is ... it's liberating sometimes. Didn't
it feel kind of good, upstairs, just now?"
Cassandra looked at Elena as if she had sprouted
wings, horns, and tentacles. "No, it did not feel good, Elena.
It felt...." She stared into her drink.
Elena ventured, "It felt ... scary?"
Taking Cassandra's silence for assent, she asked, "Look, I don't think
you're afraid of me, and I don't want you to be, not really. But
you are afraid of something, or someone, aren't you?"
Cassandra blinked once, but kept staring at
the amber liquid.
Elena leaned forward and said earnestly, "Roland
is dead. And so is B-Bethel." *!Carajo!* she thought savagely,
*just say the fucking word*. Bethel. Bethel. Bethel.
Maybe next time she could say it without stuttering. "We don't have
to be afraid of them anymore. Except for in here," she amended, tapping
her temple, using the same argument Duncan had used to convince her.
Cassandra glanced once at Elena, ironic and
bitter. "I'm not afraid of Roland. I'm afraid of myself."
She picked up her glass and emptied it in a couple of swallows, not stopping.
Then, her voice raspy from the whisky, she said, "I'm afraid of what he
made me become. I'm afraid of what I can do." Her voice dropped
to a whisper. "Of what I have done."
"What have you done?" Elena prompted, curious,
but beginning to worry a little. Did she even want to know?
Cassandra reached for the bottle and poured
herself another shot, but she did not drink it. She tilted the glass
back and forth, watching the ripples in the whisky. "You were afraid
of the Voice, Elena." She put down her glass and looked directly
at Elena. "You were afraid of what I could make you do."
"Yes," Elena admitted. Not this again,
*!Dios mio!* This was exactly what she had been afraid of, from the
beginning. She remembered Duncan telling her about losing control
of his own actions, of his own body--of his own mind--and how terrifying
it was.
"The Voice gives me a great deal of power.
Too much," Cassandra said, interrupting Elena's almost-panicked thoughts.
The ancient Immortal glanced at the katana, then went back to looking into
Elena's eye. "I could tell you to give me your sword, to put it into
my hand. I could tell you to kneel, here on this patio, and not move.
I could hold the sword to your neck, then tell you to lean into your own
blade and slit your own throat." Cassandra smiled, a small cruel
smile of power and contempt. "And you would do it."
Elena didn't doubt it for a moment.
Bethel had gotten her to do anything he wanted. So could Cassandra,
and she could do it easily, with just a few words. Elena wouldn't
even be able to fight back at all; her pride, her strength, her will, were
all illusions. We are ashes, we are dust, we are nothing.
Now Elena realized the full extent of the
mistake she'd made, inviting this woman here. Because if Cassandra
attacked Elena, the Indians would try to stop her, possibly shoot her.
The Oniocos had tried to stop another Immortal in the past, and one of
them had died for it. Cassandra could kill several of them, could
make them do things, shoot themselves. Or each other! *!Madre
de Dios,* she wouldn't even have a chance to warn them!
Elena held her breath as the fear slithered
within, paralyzing her, and Cassandra watched her unblinkingly, her eyes
dark green with cold amusement.
"I've done it before," the older Immortal
continued, "and I did it to someone I cared about." Cassandra lifted
her glass in an ironic toast. "And I did it when I was angry."
She took a large swallow, then slammed her glass on the table, slopping
the whisky over the edge.
Raul whimpered once. Out of the corner
of her eye, Elena saw him back away, then turn and run.
"And that was just the first time," Cassandra
said. "The second time I forced him to his knees, I didn't bother
to tell him to lean into the blade. I simply ... drew my arm back
for the blow." She wet her lips with the tip of her tongue, but her
eyes were haunted. "I wanted to take his head, and I almost did."
Cassandra blinked and the hunger was hidden,
but Elena knew it was still there, waiting. Not always waiting, either.
*!Cono!* She wouldn't want to be on her knees in front of this *asesina
loca.* That poor bastard must have been terrified, whoever he was.
"I gave you my word I wouldn't harm you,"
Cassandra said, "and I don't want to, but now I'm giving you a warning.
I'm not always ... in control of my anger. Sometimes, it controls
me." Her hard stare challenged Elena. "So don't ask me to spar,
and don't push me again. All right?"
Elena swallowed in a dry throat and nodded.
What had she gotten herself into by letting this woman into her house?
Cassandra could kill her, behead her, and Elena would be helpless to stop
it. The muscles in her thighs twitched with the desire, the instinct,
to simply run, to jump up and escape. But then she closed her fists
and took a deep breath, and then another, calming herself.
She had run from New York to Seacouver, and
then she had run to Argentina--but now she was home, and she was not going
to run anymore. And she was not going to be afraid in her own home;
she was not going to let the fear rule her anymore. Not again.
And she was not "nothing."
If Cassandra tried to use the Voice on her,
Elena would try to crush her larynx, quickly, efficiently. She'd
killed enemies quietly and efficiently before--it was a matter of being
alert and careful and watchful. *Coitela.* And maybe pushing
a little less.
Now she leaned forward slightly, not back,
not away. "Cassandra ...," she began, then paused, wondering what
the hell she could say, how she could get Cassandra to open up and let
that rage out, without hurting Elena or her people.
Cassandra blinked again, and the hard stare
was gone, replaced by uncertainty and regret. "I didn't mean to scare
you," she said.
*Oh, but you did mean to,* Elena thought.
*And you succeeded.*
Cassandra continued, "I just thought ... you
should know." She sighed once, then offered, "I'll leave the *estancia*
if you want me to."
"No," Elena said swiftly. She was not
a whimpering dog running off with her tail between her legs. She
was an Immortal, and she was a fighter. "No. I invited you
here. You are my guest. You listened to me last night, and
it's my turn to listen to you." She smiled tentatively at Cassandra,
and waited until Cassandra gave her a small smile in return. Elena
sighed inwardly with relief, then leaned even further forward, interlacing
her fingers in front of her on the table. In spite of Cassandra's
warning, and the real danger of the Voice, Elena found she wanted--no,
needed, to satisfy her own curiosity if nothing else--to hear Cassandra's
story. And she still felt an obligation toward the older Immortal.
So Elena asked, "What did he make you become? What were you before?"
Cassandra shrugged, and now her eyes were
empty. "The person I was, is gone. And now there's no one left."
*The lost soul of the broken bird,* Elena
thought. It had indeed been too long. Three thousand years
of horror, *!Maria Santisima!* But Cassandra needed to tell, even if she
didn't want to. "Tell me, Cassandra," she urged. "You came
here to talk, remember?"
"Yes," Cassandra said, but she made no move
to do so.
Elena decided to ... well, not push, but encourage
her. "You dream of him, don't you?" she asked.
"Yes," Cassandra answered in surprise.
"And not just of him." She added quietly, "These last six months
or so, it's been every night. I thought ... I hoped, that after they were
dead, the dreams would stop. But they didn't."
"You have ... quiet nightmares," Elena observed
diplomatically.
Cassandra was surprised again. "Of course.
If I cried out, or screamed, he would beat me, or kill me. He liked
strangling best." She reached for her glass again, her hand trembling ever
so slightly. "And he would kill me if I protested, or tried to fight
back, or protect myself, or showed anger, or hate, or fear--" She
stopped abruptly and set the glass back down. Her voice lost the
edge of hysteria and became slower. "He killed me over and over again,
until he tamed me, until I did exactly what he wanted, whatever he wanted."
Elena winced, sickened, swallowing even more
whisky. She knew what that was like. She squinted against the
morning sun. One of the boys playing *futbol* had fallen, hurting
himself and losing the ball. He began to cry. The others ignored
him, and after a moment he got back up and ran happily after the crowd
with the ball.
Elena felt like crying, too. She stood
unsteadily, her vision blurred, got dizzy, then sat back down. Now
that it was her turn, she didn't want to talk. So she began.
"He broke my sword, the one...." She hadn't wanted to start, and
now she couldn't finish.
Cassandra finished for her, in a low and gentle
voice. "The one that Don Alvaro gave you."
Elena nodded bleakly. She didn't want
to cry anymore. She felt like she'd been squeezed dry, and the only
liquid left in her body was Scotch. She poured herself another drink,
emptying the bottle. She and Cassandra had downed the whole thing.
Elena emptied her glass, too, then slammed
it down on the table. She wanted more, but wasn't sure she could get up
again, much less walk. She was *not* going to ask Carmela for another
bottle. So she had to talk instead.
______________________________
Seven weeks earlier
Bethel's Basement
______________________________
"What toy should we use today, Elena?" Bethel
asked, his echoing voice filled with amusement and anticipation; the only
sound she ever heard anymore, except for her own whimpers, her own pleadings,
her own screams. "The sledgehammer? The knife? The branding
iron?" He picked that up out of the coals in the small grill on the
table and studied its glow. "Being burned is your least favorite,
isn't it?"
Elena whined, a hurt animal caught in a trap,
giving herself completely away, again. She didn't even have the strength
left to writhe in her seat, strapped to the metal chair. She could
clearly remember the smell of her own charred flesh, see the orange-hot
iron in her mind's eye, feel the pain of the branding rod as he held it
against her thigh--always her thigh, always the same spot--then the agony
as he pulled it away, searing her skin off in a long band from her hip
down to her knee.
He was going to burn her, and she couldn't
stop him. *!Dios mio!* she couldn't get him to stop, he'd never stop,
the pain would never end! But maybe if she--
"Choose, Elena. Choose, or I'll use
them all." He came near her, and she could feel the heat of his body
as well as the hotter fire of the metal, as it came near her cold skin.
"No, please, please, the ... sledgehammer."
Bethel smiled. He put the branding iron
down and picked up the two- pound metal sledge. "Good choice.
It's a nice toy." He looked her over. "Your right forearm,"
he decided, always warning her, always telling her ahead, so she could
know what was coming.
He lifted the sledgehammer high above her.
______________________________
26 November 1996
______________________________
Elena shuddered and reached for the whisky
again, holding the empty bottle in her trembling hand. There was
no Scotch left in it anyway, and she used up all the willpower she had
at that moment to keep from smashing the bottle into the ground, gripping
it instead until her breathing came back to normal.
"Hurting me made him feel better, stronger."
She put the bottle down carefully and looked at Cassandra. "Do you
know that he was first killed by the Gestapo? Tortured and murdered.
He broke under torture, just like me, just like anyone would, and he had
to do the same thing to everyone else, I guess."
Cassandra looked sick, too, but she shook
her head and said emphatically, "That does not excuse what he did, Elena.
Nothing does."
"No. It doesn't." Elena thought
about it a minute, then asked, "Roland was insane, too, wasn't he?
Just like B-Bethel." No, she still couldn't say it. Not quite
yet, damn it. But she would--she had a whole Immortal lifetime to
say it. "Both of them needed so desperately to control us, to tame
us. And they succeeded," she added, bitterly.
"Roland?" Cassandra repeated in confusion.
"Oh. Yes. Him, too." She grimaced and pushed away her whisky.
"I was thinking of Methos when I was talking about taming."
It was Elena's turn to be confused and surprised.
Lacing her fingers together in front of her on the table top, she leaned
forward and asked, "Methos? *Our* Methos did that to you? You
mean, the Methos Duncan knows?" she said, while thinking, *the Methos *I*
know?* Duncan had told her Methos had been one of the Biblical Horsemen,
and she knew that the Horsemen had killed Cassandra the first time, made
her Immortal, but she hadn't realized that Methos had captured Cassandra,
or tortured her, or.... "He killed you over and over again?" Elena asked.
"To tame you?"
Cassandra just looked at her, flat and bleak
and hard. "Yes. *That* Methos." The bitter twist to her mouth
could not be called a smile. "We have a lot to talk about, Elena,
you and I."
~~~~~
The two women talked all that morning, and all through that afternoon. Often they wept. That night, getting drunk and eating popcorn and cold *empanadas* and staying up late, sometimes they even managed to laugh. Finally, exhausted and tipsy, they lay down side by side in Elena's bed and slept.
|
When Cassandra woke the next day, she lay absolutely
still, listening to the bird songs and the faint voices of the workers
in the stables. It was morning. She had slept all night, and
she had not dreamed. Elena had obviously not dreamed again, either.
Sometime during the night, Elena and she had moved closer together, perhaps
for warmth, more probably for comfort. Elena's leg lay against hers,
barely touching, and their heads were on the same pillow.
Cassandra turned her head slightly to look
at the other woman. Elena looked younger in sleep, softer, more vulnerable.
But only for a moment. Elena woke and stared back at her, her gray
eye unblinking, wariness tightening the lines of her face again. Cassandra
immediately moved away, giving Elena more space. "Afraid I'll
bite?" Elena said, now looking somewhat amused.
"I know you can," Cassandra replied, smiling
a little to take the edge off that statement. "I just didn't want
to crowd you."
"You mean threaten me," Elena corrected, and
Cassandra acknowledged that with a nod. "You're very ... closed,"
Elena observed, sitting up, oblivious to her nudity, revealing her early
Indian childhood by her casual attitude. "Very private, even cold."
<You've never been interested in me at
all. I'm just something for you to use.>
Connor had thought she was cold, too, but
she had cared for him, once. Hadn't she? It seemed so long
ago. "I hide what I feel," Cassandra acknowledged, sitting up, "and
I know it makes me seem ... cold. And I do keep people away; I feel
safer that way." She suddenly realized that she had crossed her arms
tightly and pulled her knees up, protecting herself. "Even now.
I'm not comfortable being touched."
"I know what you mean--now," Elena agreed.
"And the worst part is feeling so alone, so completely alone. Still.
Because B-Bethel took everyone I ever cared for away from me. I betrayed
them all."
<I betrayed my people, and they died.
They all died.>
Cassandra pushed that memory back down, all
those memories down. She didn't want to remember how they had died.
Elena was still talking. "And I knew
that the last face I would ever see, the last voice I would ever hear,
the last touch I would ever feel *in my life* would be B-Bethel's."
Elena looked down, shuddering, then looked back up at Cassandra.
"And now, I don't know if I can ever look at anyone else again, or listen
to their voice with love, or allow anyone to touch me." She met Cassandra's
eyes and said softly, "Ever."
"Ever is a very long time," Cassandra said,
offering what little comfort she could. "In time, it gets easier
to be with someone, to trust...."
<This doesn't have to hurt. Don't
fight me, and I won't hurt you.>
Pain came in many forms, and Cassandra knew
them all. Methos had been her first teacher in pain. Kronos
and Roland and Connor had given her lessons in pain, too. Trust might
get easier. It would never be easy.
"Someone?" Elena asked, cocking her head to
one side. "Do you mean a man? Or a woman?"
From Elena's tone, Cassandra knew that the
other woman was not offended at the idea, simply curious. At another
time, with another woman, Elena might even be interested. "Either,"
Cassandra said calmly, knowing they needed to talk about this if they were
to continue sleeping in the same bed. "But women are safer, less
threatening. It's easier, perhaps, to start with a woman."
"Was it easier for you?"
Cassandra nodded. "It was common in
the harems and the women's quarters throughout most of history. Even
in the nunneries, though we had to hide it then." She shrugged.
"For a long time, the Christians took a very dim view of any kind of sex."
"I know," Elena said fervently. "I was
raised a Roman Catholic, remember?"
"But that didn't stop you," Cassandra observed.
"You've had women lovers."
"Yes, twice," Elena said. "Maria was...."
Elena stopped and shook her head. "She died."
"I'm sorry," Cassandra said simply, knowing
what that was like. "It's hard to say good-bye."
"We never had the chance to say good-bye,"
Elena retorted grimly.
Cassandra knew what that was like, too.
Elena blinked, blurring the gleam of tears,
then hopped off the bed and headed for the bathroom at the far end of the
spacious bedroom. "I'll see you downstairs," she called, then shut the
door behind her.
~~~~~
Cassandra chatted with Carmela in the kitchen
while they waited for Elena, the good smell of baking bread warm and comforting.
Someone had been working in the kitchen very early. "Are there many
workers on the *estancia*?" Cassandra asked. "Do they live here?"
"About two dozen workers and their families,
plus the *gauchos*--the Norteamericanos call them 'cowboys'--and their
families, who live west of here on the pampa. My family the Oniocos
has lived here for hundreds of years," Carmela said with pride. "There
are houses, the veterinarian's office, the blacksmith--a village almost,
behind the main house. The children go to school in Las Flores or
Buenos Aires. Some of them are home-schooled." She grinned
at Cassandra. "We put them all to work, too."
<What work do I do, Mistress?>
Roland had liked to help her paint the pottery
they made together. He had been so eager to learn when he had been little,
so curious, so bright, such a happy child. At first. Cassandra
added sugar to her coffee and sat at the kitchen table. "Is this
mostly a farm or a horse ranch?"
"An *estancia* is both, and this is one of
the largest, and the oldest," Carmela said proudly as she took the pan
off the stove. A tiny bell rang, and Carmela called out to a teenage
girl, "Maribet." The girl nodded and took several fresh-baked loaves out
of the oven.
Carmela turned back to Cassandra. "We
grow wheat and corn for crops, and raise cattle of course. A lot
of money comes from the polo ponies." She shook her head. "What
some people will pay for a horse...." Carmela removed the *empanadas,*
the beef pastries, from the pan, drained them, and poured them onto a decorated
plate, then said, "She loves the horses, you know. The faster the
better."
"Yes," Cassandra said, remembering the young
Elena's desire for an Andalusian.
Carmela shook her head again as she set butter
and jam on a tray. "She used to ride everyday, without fail. But
she hasn't even gone near the stables, or gone anywhere, not since Senor
Mac left last week. In fact, after he left, she didn't even come
out of the ballroom for days, only to eat. We have all been ... so
afraid for her," she finished, wiping her hands on her apron, her
voice trembling slightly.
Cassandra murmured soothingly, "It will take
time," knowing that even for an Immortal, there might never be enough time
to overcome such a nightmare. The back of her neck tightened with
the approach of an Immortal, and Cassandra turned to look toward the kitchen
entrance.
Carmela had no such warning. "!Ay, Mariaelena!"
Carmela said a moment later, putting her hand over her heart, startled
by Elena's sudden--and very quiet--appearance in the doorway.
Elena said, "Carmela, Maribet, I'm not real
hungry this morning. *Solamente cafe con leche, por favor.*" She
nodded to Cassandra, then went into the dining room.
Carmela sighed, then immediately poured her
mistress a cup of espresso, added hot milk from another pot on the stove,
then went into the dining room carrying the coffee pot. Cassandra
and Maribet followed with the food.
~~~~~
After breakfast, Cassandra said to Elena, "You
showed me the house yesterday. Can we see the rest of the *estancia*
today?"
Elena shrugged and nodded, then went to the
sideboard to pick up her katana before she led the way outside. Always
the sword. Always the need to fight. Always the need to kill.
Cassandra followed, her hands empty.
Raul and the brown and white dog came loping
over as soon as the women stepped outside. "Raul is very friendly,"
Cassandra commented, patting the black dog's head. At the sound of
his name, Raul's tail started to wag.
"Yes, we already know he likes you," Elena
said, but today her voice was not resentful.
They went out the back gate to the stables.
Lean and watchful barn cats peeked out from their perches on hay bales
and on wooden rafters, and every available wall surface was hung with riding
equipment, made of leather, rope, and metal.
"Those must be the polo ponies," Cassandra
said when they reached the first stable. A foal switched his short
black tail in satisfied ecstasy as he nursed, and his dam chewed her feed
contentedly. Four other horses peered inquisitively over the gates
of their stalls, two of them whinnying softly.
A boy was mucking an empty stall, but he paused
and leaned his forehead on his rake when the women came by. "Buenos
dias, senorita," he said.
Elena nodded at him. "Eh, Paco."
Cassandra smiled at the boy, then looked over
the horses. "They're lovely." Grace and speed showed in the
sleek lines of the horses, and they never seemed to stand still.
One by one, they came to the gates to peer at them curiously.
"Yes, we breed those famous and expensive
Argentine polo ponies," Elena agreed, but she did not linger.
In front of one of the other stables, a young
man was grooming a horse with long brush strokes. "Senorita Elena,"
he said, sounding almost surprised. "*?Como esta Ud?*"
"*Muy bien, gracias, hombre,*" she answered,
but she did not smile. Elena pointed to the fenced pasture across the yard,
where several more horses grazed. "Those are the *criollos,* the
native horses that the *gauchos* ride when they herd cattle."
Cassandra nodded. The horses in the
pasture were shorter and stockier than the polo ponies, and had been bred
for strength and endurance, not speed and agility. There were more
*criollos* in the last stables. "Do you ride these?"
"Yes. I don't play polo," Elena said
shortly.
A mare the color of dark topsoil whinnied
a special welcome at the sight of Elena. A girl of perhaps fourteen
years of age, wearing a dirty white T-shirt and jeans, came over immediately.
She blew a loose strand of dark hair back from her face and smiled at Elena.
"You're back, senorita!" she said. "Adelita's missed you."
The mare was nodding her head as though she were agreeing. "Are you
here to ride her?" the girl asked. "I can have her saddled for you
in two minutes."
Elena rubbed the white blaze on the mare's
large head, smiling a little, but standing off. When Adelita tried
to nuzzle her hair, or what was left of it, Elena pushed the mare away.
"No, *nina,* I'm not riding today. Maybe later." Elena walked
out of the stable.
A cat curled himself around Elena's legs,
but she didn't pause. Grasshoppers leapt away as the women walked around
the east side of the house in the morning sun, heading back toward the
main house. The scent of cut clover hung spicy-sweet in the warm air.
Cassandra walked beside the young woman, silent. It was too soon
for Elena. One day and one night of talk was not enough time. Cassandra
could wait. She had had practice in waiting: three thousand years
of practice.
Three men digging a hole for a new fence post
stopped and lifted their hats as Elena walked by. "Senorita," they
called. Surprise and genuine pleasure did not quite cover the cautious
respect in their voices.
This time Elena stopped and greeted each by
name. "Juan, Pepito, Rini. This is Senorita Cassandra, my guest."
The three lifted their hats to her, too, and
Cassandra nodded graciously in return. "A hot day for such hard work,"
she commented, for the men's shirts were darkened with sweat and their
brown skin gleamed.
"But it is a glorious day," Pepito answered,
grinning, looking above him at the arch of blue heavens that reached to
the earth in a great circle, surrounding and enclosing them. The
clods of dirt around his feet were dark brown and crumbling, rich with
the possibility of life.
"Yes." Cassandra swallowed hard, hearing
the truth in his words. "A glorious day." This time the nods she
and Pepito exchanged were ones of recognition.
Elena had already moved on. Cassandra
caught up to her, and they stopped under the shade of a tree to watch a
group of children playing another ball game in the empty field; apparently
there was no school today. The teams were mismatched, for the ages
of the players ranged from five to at least fifteen, but the children didn't
care. They were playing, and they were happy. The dogs ran
off to join them, chasing the ball.
Cassandra glanced at her companion.
Elena was staring in the direction of the children, but she was not really
watching them. Her fingers were tight around the katana, and her shoulders
and her mouth were tight, too. The easy grace and exuberance of the
young woman from the convent all those years ago was gone.
Perhaps it was time to talk. "Why don't
you want to ride?" Cassandra asked.
"I haven't been on a horse since ...," Elena
swallowed, but she said it anyway, as Cassandra knew she would, "... since
Duncan left." Elena seldom shied away from saying or doing much of anything.
<I haven't really done much of anything,
lately.>
Cassandra hesitated, then decided to continue.
"Why did Duncan leave, Elena?" Her decision had obviously not been
a good one, for Elena turned to her, bristling.
"Why do you want to know?" Elena demanded,
but she didn't give Cassandra time to answer. Elena moved closer,
invading her space, breathing in her face. Elena's left fist was
clenched by her side, barely restrained, instantly ready to draw her sword
from the sheath she gripped in her right hand. "Are you going to
go after him and take him for your lover? Again?"
"No," Cassandra answered, quickly and firmly,
knowing how sensitive Elena was about this, how Elena must wonder if any
man would ever want her again, damaged as she was. "I told you already,"
Cassandra said, "I don't want Duncan." Cassandra knew he didn't want
her. "And Duncan and I weren't lovers. It was just one night."
She added softly, more to herself than to Elena, "One very special night."
"And what the hell does that mean?" Elena
demanded.
Cassandra stepped back from Elena, not in
fear, but in caution. Elena's right hand was still tight on her sword sheath,
the knuckles white. "Come," Cassandra said, leading the way to some
hay bales that were stacked near the fence. "Let's sit." Elena
followed her slowly, but while Cassandra sat, Elena stood, still wary,
still upset. "Elena ...," Cassandra started, then pulled one
knee to her chest and wrapped her arms around it. She forced herself
to continue. "Sex ... isn't easy for me. To let a man touch me, to
put myself in his hands, in his power, to be so vulnerable...."
<Make love to me before I kill you.>
She closed her eyes briefly. "Being
killed during sex, and then reviving to find the man still...." Her
throat went tight, and she tried to swallow. "It makes it hard to
relax and enjoy it, you know?"
Elena walked off a few paces, shook her head,
then came back, her previously hostile gaze now one of bleak memory.
This time she sat next to Cassandra. She laid her sword on the ground
near her feet, then reached over and took Cassandra's hand in hers, squeezing
it softly. "*Yo se, chica.*"
"Si," Cassandra said, squeezing her hand in
return. "*Tu sabes.*" Last night they had talked about the rapes.
"So, unless it's a man I trust, completely, and a man I care for, I'd rather
do without." Cassandra took a calming breath, then shrugged, pulling her
hand away. "It was special with Duncan partly because I hadn't been
with a man ... lately. Not willingly, anyway."
The two women exchanged another glance, and
Elena muttered, "Bastards."
"Did you ever notice," Cassandra asked, ready
enough to change the subject, leaning back on the hay bale and staring
into that glorious blue sky, "that the two most common ways to insult a
man--son of a bitch and bastard--really insult his mother?"
"Not in Spanish," Elena commented with a small
grin. "*Pendejo* has nothing to do with the mother. Only with
the man's ... inadequacies. Don Alvaro told me Ramirez called him
that all the time when they were fighting the Moors."
"True," Cassandra answered, grinning in return.
*Pendejo* actually meant pubic hair, but to call a man that implied that
he had nothing *but* pubic hair between his legs. "Ramirez used it
a lot. It was his favorite nickname for Connor, too."
"Oh, that's right," Elena said. "Duncan
mentioned Ramirez had been Connor's first teacher, too. It's a small
world of Immortals. It's almost ... incestuous, in a way."
But she obviously didn't want to change the subject, or talk about Connor
or Ramirez or about Immortality. "What did you mean by 'lately'?"
"This last time?" Cassandra hesitated,
then decided to tell her. She was here to talk, after all. "Over
three and a half centuries."
Elena was dumbfounded. "No."
"Yes." She could not help but smile
at Elena's surprise. "I told you it was special. And there
was more to it than that. After all those years of waiting for the
prophecy to be fulfilled, of hiding from Roland, finally, I was free.
I could choose. Being with Duncan was ... a celebration of life,
a rebirth for me."
Elena nodded slowly, thinking about it, then
turned to her suddenly. "All right, so maybe I was wrong about your being
a whore," she admitted. "That time."
Cassandra stopped breathing as the rage surged
within her. She stood abruptly and walked away from Elena, away from
that arrogant, vicious bitch. Cassandra made it to the fence before
the anger completely overwhelmed her. She started to breathe deeply,
trying to control it, but breathing wasn't enough. She gripped the
wooden board with both hands, welcoming the pain from the splintered wood
in her right palm.
Cassandra was used to that attitude from men,
but to hear it from another woman, from a woman she had wept with and laughed
with only last night, from a woman she was trying to help, from a woman
she was starting to trust ... That insolent, self-righteous, pampered little
slut!
She whirled as Elena came up behind her, and
was pleased to see the Elena stop short at the sudden movement. Elena
had left her sword by the hay bales, about two meters away, and the young
Immortal glanced back at it now. "Have you ever been a whore, Elena?"
Cassandra demanded.
"No," Elena answered, a trifle too quickly.
"Haven't you?" Cassandra drawled, mixing sarcasm
and disbelief. "Oh, maybe not for money. You've always been wealthy.
You've always been the darling daughter, always had a choice."
"*!Mentira!*" Elena protested. "I haven't
always had a choice! When I was nine years old, the Spaniard who called
himself my 'father,' Don Rafael, started handing me around to his friends,
like...." She stopped, panting, obviously still remembering clearly.
"Like a whore?" Cassandra finished for her.
"But that was rape, wasn't it?" At Elena's stiff nod, Cassandra said,
"I'm not talking about being raped, Elena. I'm talking about being
a whore--offering your body, or the promise of your body, in payment for
something. Have you ever used your good looks to get what you wanted?"
Elena closed her eye tightly, calming herself
a little. Then she smiled in rueful remembrance. "Yes, I've
done that."
"How about Duncan? Has he ever done
that?"
"Of course he has; he does it all the time."
She put her hands on her hips and glared at Cassandra. "Haven't you?"
"Yes," Cassandra admitted. "We all do
that, if we can. Does that make us whores?" Elena was silent,
thinking, and Cassandra added, "It's far easier to be a willing whore with
someone you know, than to be an unwilling whore with someone you don't.
But you're still a whore."
Elena opened her mouth to reply, but Cassandra
cut in, "Can you say you haven't used sex to get something you wanted?
Or because you felt you owed a man something? Not even one time?"
"No," Elena admitted finally. "I can't
say that."
Cassandra stepped back and tried to speak
calmly, needing to convince Elena. "I did not go to bed with Duncan
to convince him to kill Roland, or to pay him for killing Roland.
I went to bed with Duncan because I wanted to." She knew Elena would
not want to hear that Duncan had been just as willing.
But Elena knew Duncan MacLeod very well.
"You weren't the only one who wanted to, Cassandra," Elena said bitterly.
"No," Cassandra admitted. "I wasn't.
But it wasn't just...." She tried to explain what that one night
had meant to her, needing to convince herself. "I know your religion
called sex the original sin, but in my religion, for people to make love
is a sacrament. When two people care for each other, it's sacred ... holy...."
Cassandra stopped, hearing now the shattering lie in her words. Duncan
didn't care about her at all; the events in Bordeaux had made that very
clear. That night with Duncan had been sacred to her, but she had
been just another easy lay to him, just another fuck. She meant nothing.
<She's no different than the others.>
She was nothing. Why was she surprised?
She knew that. She was used to that. Cassandra blinked rapidly,
but she could not stop the tears. It still hurt.
Elena reached out to her in surprise and concern.
"Cassandra, wait. Don't--"
Cassandra turned away and took a few steps.
Then she started to run.
~~~~~
Elena let her go, knowing that Cassandra needed
some time alone right now. She watched as the other Immortal ran,
her long legs moving in smooth strides over the grass as she headed out
into the fields. Raul's head went up, and he abandoned the children
to chase after her.
Elena blew out a gusty sigh of self-disgust.
Cassandra was right. She, Elena, had been a whore. Recently.
When the samurai Hosokawa had held a blade to Duncan's throat, she had
offered to go with him; she had offered her body to save Duncan's life.
And she'd certainly been a good little whore for Claude Bethel!
______________________________
Six weeks earlier
Bethel's Basement
______________________________
Bethel finally released her bonds. Her
legs were weak from lack of use, from starvation, but she still managed
to stand up from the chair, to struggle over to the metal cot, trying not
to stumble. He'd hurt her again if she wasn't fast enough. She crawled
onto the cot on all fours, her thin body trembling with cold, with fear,
with weakness, and waited for him to enter her from behind. For a
while she had resisted; then she had done this but still hated it.
But by now she just rushed to the bed, kneeling the way he liked, breathing
heavily.
Her forehead pressed against the bare mattress--she
didn't have the strength or the will to hold her head up, and she hoped
her emaciated muscles would hold her in this kneeling position long enough.
Still she waited for him to fuck her ass at his leisure--because being
raped, even body and soul like this, was relatively quick, was better than
having her bones broken with the sledge or her skin cut with the knife
or better than being branded--God, being burned!
The room was so cold she could see her own
breath in front of her face, and still she waited. After an interminable
time--he liked making her wait, building up the anticipation, letting her
fear of the pain to come grow, because he didn't always use his penis to
fuck her, sometimes he used something else--she heard the rustle of clothes,
the snick of his zipper. Then she felt him approach her slowly, his
heat getting closer, his breathing more labored. She could smell
how ready he was.
Bethel said one word, "Open," and she immediately
obeyed, spreading her legs further. Then he abruptly pulled her cheeks
apart and rammed himself into her, deeply and viciously, and she didn't
bother to hold back her cry, because he liked to hear her in pain and when
she obliged him he hurt her less. Sometimes.
So she knelt there for Bethel, whored for
him, the once-proud Elena Duran now a whipped dog, a beaten animal who
did not dare cross him, who went to her knees before him, who did not have
the heart or the soul to defy him, who went out of her way to try to please
him. A good little obedient whore.
______________________
27 November 1996
______________________
Tears of shame and impotence came to Elena's
eyes. "*!Carajo!*" she murmured under her breath, kicking the fence
and hurting her foot in the process. Cassandra had only done the
same, to save her life. *Well, Elena*, she berated herself, *you're certainly
being a good hostess, aren't you?* Cassandra had come to her to talk,
to unburden herself, and Elena had responded with hostility, anger, and
jealousy. That was it, wasn't it? In spite of her and Duncan's
unspoken "arrangement," in spite of the fact that she knew Duncan loved
her, Elena was jealous.
There. She admitted it. She was
envious of Cassandra's beauty and her cool elegance. But more than
that, she was jealous of Duncan helping Cassandra, of Duncan's chivalric
response to the "lady in distress." Not that Cassandra hadn't been
in distress, but damn it, so was she! And Duncan had walked out on
her.
Well, neither one of them had Duncan now.
All they had at the moment was each other. And Elena hadn't even
been helping Cassandra, had she? She'd called her guest a coward,
a liar, and a whore, all in less than twenty-four hours. The fact
that they were all true only made it worse.
Elena sighed once more, climbed the fence,
and watched the children for a few minutes, trying not to think, not to
feel anything. At least for a while.
Finally, Elena gave up on watching the *beisbol*
game and went into the ballroom, her dojo, to work out, to get strong again,
to make herself whole again. Bethel had weakened her, almost destroyed
her, body and soul, and she was stubbornly determined never to feel this
way again.
~~~~~
Cassandra ran. Tall grasses whipped at her
bare legs; sunshine beat down on her head and back. Raul loped alongside
her, his tongue hanging out, his black coat dulled with dust and speckled
with green seeds and burs. Cassandra ran until her breaths came in
harsh gasps and her feet stumbled. She ran as long and as far as
she could, and it wasn't far enough. The voices followed.
<Another customer for you. That's
twenty-eight today.>
<Just spread your legs and pretend you're
enjoying it.>
<Who wants a turn with this one?
She's got a tight ass.>
<Smile, you stupid cow! Do whatever
they tell you to and keep the men happy. That's your job.>
<Lie down.>
<Touch my balls.>
<Bend over.>
<Suck my cock.>
<Kneel.>
<Lick my ass.>
<Another customer for you. And remember
to smile!>
Cassandra stumbled and fell, then stayed on
the ground. Raul circled back and nuzzled at her, his cold nose pushing
at her neck. She reached out to him blindly, held onto the warmth of him
as he lay by her side, buried her face in his fur.
Elena had not been wrong.
<You stay alive, as long as you please
me.>
She had been a whore for Methos, a completely
willing whore. She had given her body and her soul to her father's
killer, and she had lived only to please him.
<Show me what you do for Methos.>
She had been a whore for Kronos, done whatever
he wanted, given him everything,
<Make love to me before I kill you.>
She had been a whore for Roland, too, in more
ways than one.
Cassandra got up and started running again,
trying not to think, not to remember, not to hear. The voices followed.
When she finally got back to the *estancia,*
Elena came out to greet her. Cassandra veered away and went to stand
by the fence again, staring out at the fields. The children were
still playing ball. Raul flopped by her feet, panting happily.
Elena joined her there and spoke first.
"Cassandra, I'm sorry. What I said was unfair."
"No. It wasn't." Cassandra carefully
twined a pale yellow stalk of hay between her fingers. "You were
right. I have been a whore."
"So have I," Elena admitted. "And more
than once."
Cassandra nodded without looking at her, hearing
the effort behind those words, knowing how hard it was for Elena to admit
that. She also knew Elena didn't really understand. "Do you
mean with Bethel?"
Elena looked down at her feet, then up at
Cassandra's face squarely. Still, she had to take a deep breath before
she said his name. "Yes. Him. B-Bethel."
"Elena," Cassandra began, hoping to reassure
her, "they don't have to hit you every time. When you do it out of
fear, it's still rape."
"No," Elena answered slowly. "Yes, I
know that, but," her voice speeded up, "I did everything he wanted, everything!
I got on my knees for him, willingly. I wanted to--"
"Yes, you wanted to," Cassandra cut in.
"You wanted to please him. You did anything, everything--willingly.
And after a while, you even felt grateful to him when he wasn't hurting
you, right?" At Elena's reluctant nod, Cassandra said, "I know what
that's like, Elena, and I know exactly how you felt then, and how you feel
right now."
Cassandra took her own deep breath for control.
Methos had been the first to make her feel grateful in that way, and right
now she wanted to peel the skin from his still-living carcass in long,
thin strips, braid the strips into a rope, and then use the rope to strangle
him. When he revived, she wanted to crack open his skull, scrape
out his brains, and call the ravens in to feed. Then she might cut
off his head, just for fun.
Cassandra closed her eyes and took another
breath. She'd had her chance. She'd made her decision.
It had been the right decision, she knew, but she still hated it, and she
still hated *him.* Maybe somebody else would kill him. Maybe
she could put his picture on the Internet with keywords like Methos, Immortal,
World's Oldest Man, and "Get a 5000-year-old Quickening here." She'd
better add Horseman, Murderer, Rapist, Torturer, and Death, just to make
sure people could find the website.
The thought cheered Cassandra immensely, and
she opened her eyes, only to find Elena still looking miserable.
"Even if you wanted to then, it was still rape," Cassandra said gently.
"Physical rape *and* mental rape."
Elena sighed, clearly remembering what it
felt like. "Yes, that's exactly what it was. Rape." She
shook her head, unshed, angry tears in her eyes. "If God is just,
that bastard is burning in Hell now, like he burned me. Exactly what
he deserves," she added, grimly.
Methos deserved hell, too, and Cassandra hoped
he was still in the hell she had foreseen for him. A few weeks ago,
when the Horsemen had caged her in Bordeaux, she had dreamed of Methos.
She had heard the innumerable, ceaseless voices that whispered and jabbered
in his mind, seen the despairing madness in his eyes, watched him stand
crucified, drowning in blood. Cassandra didn't know how, but she
knew the Furies would pursue Methos--into madness, unto death, and beyond.
Maybe she shouldn't put up that website after all. Maybe it would
be better for the voices to haunt him the same way they haunted her.
She wouldn't mind seeing Methos alive and in pain, for a thousand years
and more.
Death was too good for him.
Cassandra turned around and leaned her back
against the sun-warmed fence, then started to peel off the layers of the
hay stalk with her fingernails. "You said you'd been a whore, Elena,
but it's different when whoring is your job, when they pay for it.
When they pay for *you.*"
Elena nodded, but she had never sold her body
that way, had never spread her legs for every man who walked in the door.
Cassandra wanted the younger woman to understand what it meant to be a
whore. "Whoring is like any other business. You need advertising
and satisfied customers. You have to smile at them, entice them,
encourage them. You have to tell them, 'Come back and fuck me again
sometime.' And no matter how diseased, or how repulsive, or how perverted
they are, you have to pretend you enjoy it--day after day, man after man."
Elena shook her head, disbelieving.
"How could you pretend ...?" Elena began, then shrugged. "Of course,
I suppose when you have no choice ... no choice for centuries ... for millennia."
She sighed, then muttered softly, "*Madre de Dios!*"
"The choice is there," Cassandra said, "but
after awhile, you get tired of fighting. You get so ... dead."
The stalk hung in shredded filaments, and Cassandra reached over and picked
up another one. "Roland used to make me work in his brothels."
"But ... why didn't you use the Voice to stop
him?" Elena asked.
"I couldn't. When I taught Roland how
to use the Voice, he also learned how to resist it," Cassandra said bleakly.
Elena shook her head. "You should never
teach your students *everything* you know, Cassandra."
"I didn't," Cassandra said sharply, then sighed
and admitted, "But I taught him too much. It was a mistake, one of
the worst I've ever made."
"You mean in three thousand years you've made
some mistakes? Really?" Elena snorted. "Sometimes I think I've
made three thousand years' worth of mistakes just *this* year." Then,
relentlessly returning to their topic, she asked, "Couldn't you get away
from Roland?"
"I did. But that just made it worse
when he caught me again. And I knew he would eventually sell me,
so I stopped trying to escape." She looked at Elena's eyepatch, stark black
against dusky skin. "That's why he never damaged me permanently; I wouldn't
bring as good a price."
Elena's hand went to her missing right eye
automatically, and she grimaced, as if in pain. "Roland was a greedy
son of a bitch. All B-Bethel wanted was my soul. When he had
that, he intended to take my head. I got away from him just before
he blinded me completely. Fortunately, he never caught me. If he
had ... I don't even want to think about that."
Cassandra didn't have to think about being
caught again. She could remember. "Bethel wanted to destroy
you, to kill you eventually, right?"
"Yes."
"So he could be very permanent. Roland
wanted to tame me, to own me, forever. The first year I escaped three
times, but I was caught and sent back to him. Slave-catching was
good business. The last time I ran away from him, he decided to teach
me to 'appreciate' him."
______________________________
1182 BCE
The Phoenician City of Tyre
______________________________
"You can't leave me here!" Cassandra protested,
as the whoremaster started to drag her up the stairs.
Roland turned from the door and walked over
to her, then reached out casually and wound his fingers through her hair.
The whoremaster let go of her, and Roland tightened his grip and pulled
her toward him. "You're my slave, Cassandra. I took you prisoner
last year, when Troy fell. Surely you haven't forgotten that?"
"No," she said, remembering that day, and
all the days since then.
"And you're still my slave," Roland said.
"Just as the other women in this house are my slaves. And you will
do whatever I tell you to." He smiled and forced her to her knees,
one hand in her hair, one hand under her chin, forcing her head back so
that she looked up at him. "Won't you?"
"Roland, please...."
He let go of her chin and backhanded her across
the face. "Won't you?" he demanded. She didn't answer him that
time, and that earned her more blows. Then he yanked her to her feet,
his gray eyes close to hers. "You will do as I tell you," he said
again. "And if you leave here, Cassandra, if you try to escape, I
will kill every woman in the place. Slowly. Do you want to
be responsible for more deaths?"
"No," she whispered, seeing again the headless
bodies, the burned and bloody limbs of the other priestesses, hearing again
the screams of pain.
"Then do what you're good at. Spread
your legs for every man in sight. Maybe when you've serviced a few
thousand of them, you'll appreciate me more."
"Roland," she said desperately, "I promise
I'll stay with you. I won't run away again."
"You promise," he repeated, soft and sneering.
"I've heard your promises before, Cassandra. You're a liar and a
slut. And now you're going to be a whore." He smiled, a loathsome,
vicious smile. "And I'm going to be your first customer."
"No!" she said, wrenching away from him, running
for the door. But the whoremaster grabbed her, and Roland wasn't
far behind.
"You see why I can't trust you, Cassandra?"
he said sadly, shaking his head, while the whoremaster pinned her arms
behind her back. "You just promised me you wouldn't run away, and then
you did." He stepped closer and took her by the throat. "And
I did tell you what would happen if you tried to escape, didn't I?"
"No, please! Not them!" she pleaded.
"They haven't done anything."
"But you have. Haven't you?"
She knew what he wanted to hear. "Yes,"
she admitted dully, as she had admitted so many times before.
"And you'll do whatever I tell you to do,"
he said, his fingers warm along her throat.
"Yes," she said, giving him whatever he wanted,
hoping to keep the other women safe.
"Good." Roland looked at the whoremaster.
"How much for this one, do you think?"
The whoremaster let go of her arms to fondle
her breasts and pinch her nipples. "She's a looker, and she's got
nice tits on her," he said. "We could probably charge double."
"No," Roland said judiciously, stepping back
to look her over. "Let's keep her cheap. I want everyone to be able
to afford her." He smiled and tossed the whoremaster a coin. "And
I'm going to be the first."
______________________
27 November 1996
______________________
Cassandra shrugged and wound the hay stalk
around one finger, the outer case cracking instead of bending. "For
the first few dozen men, I pretended it wasn't really me. After the
first few hundred, I couldn't pretend anymore. After the first hundred
thousand, I didn't even care." The hay stalk broke. Cassandra
let the pieces fall to the lush grass below, and then she walked away.
Elena stared after Cassandra, shocked again.
Over a hundred thousand men? Going without sex for over three centuries
was incredible, but to sleep with--no, to be used by, forced by--that many
men? *!Que barbaridad!*
Elena picked up her sword and caught up to
Cassandra near the base of the ancient *ombu* tree in the courtyard of
the house. "Cassandra," she began, "how ...?"
"Three tricks a day for a year is a thousand
men. Sometimes there were thirty men a day."
"Thirty a day?" Elena repeated. "Thirty?
*!Ay, Dios mio!* That's like--," she did a quick computation in her
head, "--ten hours, three an hour, one man fucking you every twenty minutes."
"It wasn't always one at a time," Cassandra
said dryly.
Elena closed her eye, filled for just a moment
with such horror at what Cassandra had gone through and such rage against
the world and such guilt at herself that she was unable to even look at
Cassandra. When she opened her eye again she just shook her head.
She literally didn't know what to say.
"Some days there were more," Cassandra said
then shrugged again.
"For how long?"
"I was in that whorehouse for three years,
and I was a slave or a whore, or a slave *and* a whore, for nearly two
thousand years."
But it hadn't been every day, not for two
thousand years. It couldn't have been; it wasn't physically possible,
not even for an Immortal. Although, there certainly had been mortal
women who had been fucked thirty times a day, and more. And women
were still being fucked like that, even today. Elena wondered how
long those women lasted, how long they *wanted* to last. *!Carajo!*
she murmured. "But you weren't with Roland all that time," Elena
said. "Why didn't you use the Voice to help you escape?"
"I did sometimes, but using the Voice in public
is dangerous, and I can't use it on a lot of people at once. I couldn't
tell everybody to forget all about me and just walk away."
Elena smiled grimly. "No mass hypnosis,
eh?"
"No. Even if I had escaped, there were
rewards for catching a runaway, and punishments for helping one.
I hated being a whore, but being a slave ... most cultures were closed
to outsiders like me, and as a slave I belonged somewhere, even belonged
in a family sometimes. And for a woman, being a slave was not all
that different from being free."
Elena nodded. "Don Alvaro bought me,
you know. I was his slave, too. He adopted me pretty soon after,
but even as his legal daughter, I was still just a woman."
"Alvaro loved you," Cassandra said, sitting
down on the edge of the fountain and dipping her hand in the water.
"Yes, he did," Elena answered, nodding with
some pride and a kind of fierce satisfaction as she joined Cassandra in
the shade of the *ombu* tree. "From the first day he saw me, he said.
He was my father," she said simply, summing it all up in one word.
"Not my master."
"You were lucky," Cassandra said, then pulled
her hand back and shook off the water drops. "And with a kind master,
slavery isn't bad. When it was really bad, I escaped. Or tried
to. One time ...," she began, then stared at the ground and finally
shook her head. "Dying is not the worst thing that can happen to
an Immortal."
"Tell me about it," Elena said, sitting next
to her. "I was hanged from this tree--," she looked up into the spreading
branches, "--for treason to the Spanish Crown, then burned as a witch by
the Inquisition for not staying dead. And they didn't burn me right
away. I told you that story on the *Constanze* in 1736, remember?"
Cassandra smiled wryly. "You're talking
to the Witch of Donan Woods, remember?" She picked up one of last
year's withered leaves in her hand, and she started shredding the leaf
into thin even strips with her fingernails as she spoke, the words coming
hard and forced. "At first, I was only a whore when I was sold into
it. But after a while it didn't seem to matter anymore--*I* didn't
matter anymore-- and I started selling myself." She dropped the leaf
and rubbed her hands clean on her shorts, then looked straight at Elena.
"You weren't wrong. I have been a whore. But I didn't ... with
Duncan, I wanted *that* time to be special, to mean something."
Elena didn't like the way Cassandra sounded,
so beaten, so ... dead. She tried to apologize once more. "Cassandra,
it still wasn't fair of me. I'm sorry. I admit I was jealous
of you and Duncan. He has the power to hurt me so badly...."
Cassandra closed her eyes briefly. "Yes,"
she whispered. "I know."
"So I took it out on you," Elena finished.
She had to keep that jealousy in check; it was hurtful to both her and
Cassandra, and it didn't make any difference in Duncan's actions anyway.
Cassandra shook her head and sighed.
"Elena, I didn't even know you knew Duncan, and I wouldn't--I couldn't--come
between you. And you have no reason to be jealous now. It was
just one night."
Elena still couldn't quite believe it.
"But what about when you were hunting the Horsemen, when you were together
in the loft, in the same hotel room, for a whole week?"
"The Horsemen," Cassandra said distinctly,
"were about rape, murder, and plunder. Emphasis on the rape.
Believe me, while I was focusing on destroying them, the last thing on
my mind was love, or sex. With anyone, including Duncan." Cassandra
sighed again. "I told Duncan I didn't want to. I couldn't."
Elena closed her eye, her one eye, the only
one Bethel had left her. She remembered lying on the starlit pampa with
Duncan, unable to let him even touch her. She covered her eyepatch
with her hand, feeling the familiar phantom pain there again. Quietly,
she said, "I told him the same thing, after B-Bethel."
Cassandra nodded, then actually grinned a
little. "So, it's been what? Over a month for him now?
Sleeping with women but not getting any? How do you think he's doing?"
Elena shook herself free of thoughts of Claude
Bethel. Bethel was dead. But Cassandra, flesh-and-blood before
her, was alive. And so was she, Elena Duran. They'd both survived.
And Duncan was very much alive, too. She said, with a rueful grin
of her own, "Suffering, *pobrecito.* He probably called Amanda right
away."
"Well, that's Duncan, isn't it?" Cassandra
asked sharply. She added more gently, "He may have called Amanda,
Elena, but while Duncan and I were hunting the Horsemen, he told me there
was someone special in his life, someone he loved very much." She
smiled at Elena. "That was you."
"I know he does love me, in his own way,"
Elena admitted. In her heart, she knew Duncan had wanted to stay
with her. But after her quarrel with Connor, and Elena's refusal
to confide in her lover, Duncan had truly felt he had no choice but to
leave. In his place, she probably would have done the same thing.
That didn't make the hurt, the sense of abandonment, any less. "It's
just that I wish he were here."
"Why did he leave, Elena?" Cassandra asked
again, probing delicately.
Cassandra was not going to let this go.
Elena put the point of her katana sheath into the soil between her feet
and twisted it, leaving a small indentation there. She shrugged,
carefully not elaborating. "Connor got angry at me and left. Then
Duncan ... I didn't want ... Connor didn't want me to tell Duncan what
happened, so I didn't. So Duncan thought I'd hurt Connor, which I
had. And that I didn't trust him, Duncan, I guess ... I don't know
what he thought."
She could tell that Cassandra was trying to
follow this complicated train of thought. But if she hadn't told
Duncan, she sure wasn't going to tell Cassandra what had happened between
her and Connor MacLeod. She wasn't going to tell the older woman
*everything.* And she was sure that Cassandra wasn't telling her everything,
either.
After a moment of silence, Cassandra confided,
"You know, Elena, Connor was furious at me before."
"Oh?" This was certainly interesting.
"Why was Connor so mad at you?"
"I lied to him," Cassandra admitted.
Elena's eye widened slightly. Not very
many people lied to Connor MacLeod. It was not a place she herself
would want to be.
"Why is Connor mad at you, Elena?" Cassandra
asked in turn.
"I told him the truth."
They stared at each other. And suddenly,
uncontrollably, they both burst into semi-hysterical laughter. Raul
lifted his head and smiled his dog's grin at them, head cocked to one side.
When Elena finally caught her breath, she
added, "And he didn't listen when I tried to explain--"
Cassandra snorted. "He never does."
"He gets angry so easily!"
"I know, I know," Cassandra agreed, shaking
her head.
But Elena just had to ask. "What did
he do? When he found out you had lied?"
Cassandra looked away again, as she always
looked away when she didn't want to answer, but then she faced Elena and
answered the question. "He said he would kill me if I ever came near
him again." She stared at her feet and added quietly, "And then he told
me he would take my head."
Elena blew out a small puff of air and nodded.
That was about what she had expected. Connor MacLeod had threatened
to behead her once, and she'd taken it for what it was: a death sentence.
Fortunately she'd gotten a reprieve. That time.
Cassandra was serious now. "Whatever
happened between you and him, Elena, you're going to have to face him eventually."
Elena wasn't laughing anymore, either.
She shook her head.
"You're going to have to talk to him," Cassandra
insisted. "After Connor has calmed down, he'll probably be more willing
to listen to you. He listened to me."
This time Elena nodded. She knew that
she would have to face Connor. This wasn't what frightened her.
Well, not the main thing. Going back to Connor also meant she'd have to
face Bethel, or rather, her memories of Bethel. But she wasn't ready,
wasn't strong enough. Not yet. She would go back eventually;
she always faced her demons. But later.
"Yes, I know," Elena agreed. "I know
you're right. I'll talk to him." She pulled her sweaty shirt
away from her chest. "Right now, I think we could both use a shower,
eh?" As they walked toward the house, Elena asked, "How long did
you wait for Connor to calm down?"
Cassandra opened her mouth, then shut it again.
"Three hundred sixty-six years."
Elena stopped, her mouth opening wide in shock
for the third time that day. Then she started laughing again.
So did Cassandra. "And he still threatened
to take my head when I showed up," she added between gasps of laughter.
Elena was still laughing, and she waved her
hand for emphasis. "That man just doesn't know when to quit. And
he's too sensitive!" She sobered instantly, again, then continued her litany
of complaints. "All I did was accuse him of ... He just didn't understand
that I had no choice. Or he didn't want to understand. And when he
left, he took Duncan with him. Damn him!" Elena blinked back
the tears. "He took Duncan from me...."
Cassandra was silent for a moment, then she
said, "Elena, Connor gets angry easily, and he's stubborn, but he's not
totally unreasonable once he's calmed down. Can you explain things
to him, and then explain things to Duncan?"
Elena was not sure she could ever make things
right again with Connor. She wasn't even sure that he'd ever forgive
her, or that she deserved to be forgiven. But she knew that Duncan
loved her, so maybe....
As they started walking again, Elena realized
what Cassandra had said. Three hundred and sixty-six years?
And the last time Cassandra had made love with a man, willingly, had been
over three and half--
"*!Carajo!*" Elena breathed, forcing herself
not to ask, not now. She could not help but glance at Cassandra curiously
as they walked side-by-side. And here Elena had thought she had problems
with Connor. Not only had Cassandra been Connor's lover, but she
had *lied* to him. No wonder Connor had threatened to take her head!
And just what had Cassandra lied about?
Another Immortal? Or worse, another lover? The second was more
likely. Did Duncan know Cassandra and Connor had been lovers all
those years ago? Did Connor know Cassandra had slept with Duncan
this summer? Elena clenched her fist tightly around her katana and
walked faster, knowing that now was not a good time to ask. Maybe
later, if Cassandra were drunk....
Elena was determined to find out eventually.
But that could wait. For now, she wanted to do something nice for Cassandra,
something to make up for her harsh words, her lack of hospitality, and
she knew just what to do.
"Hey, let's go for a drive," Elena said, smiling.
Her sudden inspiration filled her with determination and energy, and at
the kitchen threshold, she put her arm through the older woman's, then
twirled them both around. She steered Cassandra toward the garage
and the Jeeps there. She picked up a set of keys from a peg on the
wall, motioned Cassandra to the nearest vehicle, and set her katana in
the back. "I'd like to show you something."
They did not speak as Elena drove past all
the outbuildings, past the horse pastures, and into the low, flat pampa
itself. The grass was knee-high in some places, swaying in the summer
breeze, flat, green and lush. Elena followed a rough outline of road,
two faint tire tracks in the grass.
"Look!" she called about twenty minutes into
the trip, when the *estancia* was only a dim dot on the horizon behind
them. "*Nandus.*" Elena stopped the Jeep and pointed out the two
ostrich- like birds to Cassandra. The birds were pecking away, their
heads bobbing up and down, eating constantly as birds always do, undisturbed
by the encroaching humans.
Ten minutes later, Elena stopped the Jeep
again. Off to the west, so far in the distance that they looked like
children's plastic toys, was a herd of wild horses. Elena pulled
out a set of binoculars from the glove compartment and stood on her seat,
looking for *El Negro.*
"There he is," she said to Cassandra, handing
her the binoculars. "See the black stallion?" At Cassandra's nod,
she explained, "He's a descendant of the Andalusians the Spanish brought
from Europe, mixed with the *criollos.* And so beautiful!"
"He is beautiful," Cassandra agreed.
"And he's started to run now-- magnificent!" After a moment, she
handed the binoculars back to Elena.
"He loves to run," Elena said, watching until
the entire herd started to follow their spirited leader, and were lost
from sight in the dust. She sat down and put the binoculars back
in the glove box, saying, "The *gauchos* want to catch him. But he's
too wily, and too wild. I almost hope they don't get him."
"You want him to be free," Cassandra said.
"Of course," Elena said, glad that Cassandra
understood. "Their pride and their freedom--that's what I like best
about those wild horses. What I admire. And envy." Even
after all this time, Elena could still hear the bitterness in her own voice.
She knew Cassandra could hear it, too. And probably shared it.
She considered for a moment, then decided, "In fact, I'll tell the *gauchos*
to stop hunting him."
Elena started the Jeep again, and they did
not speak for the rest of the trip.
~~~~~
Cassandra was hot and thirsty by the time they finally
arrived. It was near mid-day, and the late spring sun was hot.
Elena had a canteen in the car, but the water was stale and warm, and there
wasn't enough of it to quench Cassandra's thirst or cool her off. The hot
grass smell, brought by an oncoming soft breeze, was overpowering, almost
intoxicating, the scent of baking bread and roasting grain. She wondered
how many other animals were unseen in the ocean of grass that surrounded
them.
The faint smudge on the horizon in front of
them had gradually resolved itself into a sizable stand of trees, acres
of them, an orchard of *ombu* trees with a narrow river on the eastern
side, right in the middle of the vast plain. Almost completely hidden
in the shade of the trees were two buildings, a mud-brick adobe cabin,
and a larger wooden barn.
Elena parked the Jeep inside the barn, then
led the way--katana in hand of course--to a tiny overhang which could not
properly be called a porch. Her hand hovered over the doorknob, then
she resolutely opened the door and strode in. Cassandra followed,
surprised by the unlocked door, and by the cleanliness of the room.
Not a speck of dust showed, not even on the gleaming black lid of the baby
grand piano directly in front of her. Another grand piano.
It must be nice to be so rich. The stone fireplace on the wall to
her left was free of ashes, and a small pile of wood lay neatly stacked
on the hearth, though certainly no fire was needed today.
The cabin was cooler than outside, but the
air was stuffy and empty- smelling, and the neatness of the room was oppressive.
No one had lived in this cabin for quite some time, not even for a few
days' vacation.
"Is there water to drink?" Cassandra asked,
and Elena nodded abruptly and pointed to the far end of the cabin.
Cassandra made her way between the sofa and chairs, past the small dining
table, and into the small but well-equipped kitchen. The ceiling
was a standard height there, not the soaring cathedral ceiling of the living
area. Cassandra found a bottle of mineral water in the refrigerator
and poured them each a glass, then joined Elena at the bottom of the staircase,
located in the center of the cabin.
"That's the bedroom," Elena said, pointing
to the closed door on her left. "And the bathroom is between it and
the kitchen."
Cassandra tilted her head, trying to see into
the loft above, which ran across the whole back of the cabin, above the
bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. "Can we go up there?" she asked.
Elena nodded again, then drank the water and
set down her glass on a side table next to the couch. Once again
she hesitated, almost wincing, then once again she resolutely strode forward,
this time up the stairs, her sword still in her right hand, her left hand
gripping the banister tightly enough to make her knuckles turn white.
Cassandra followed again, glancing up to the
row of polarized skylights on the southern half of the peaked roof.
Soft light filtered through the glass, ideal for an artist's studio, at
least in the southern hemisphere.
As Cassandra came up the stairs, she saw that
was what the room had been used for. Brushes, paints, and chalks
lay in ordered rows on the shelves against the far wall. Canvases--both
painted and blank- -leaned against the other walls and the railing.
An electric potter's wheel stood near the sink on the far wall, a partially-
shaped vase on the wheel, a casually draped towel over the potter's stool.
But the clay of the vase had cracked long ago, and the paints on the canvases
were dry.
"Maria worked here," Elena said, her voice
harsh with the effort not to tremble. "She was very artistic, very
creative." She avoided looking at the paintings and went straight
to the railing, leaning both elbows there, staring down into the living
room below. "I had the loft added to the cabin for her. I would
play the piano for a while--not too long. O'Sensei used to say I
had the attention span of a bedbug. Then I'd read, or listen to music,
or go outside while Maria worked up here, in the loft. Her studio."
Cassandra joined her at the railing and asked
softly, "When did Maria die?"
"About three years ago." Now Elena's
voice did tremble, but she went on, as Immortals always had to go on, "They
shot her, not too far from here. We were trying to get away...."
Cassandra reached over and held Elena's hand
in her own, a tight grip for both of them. "Who?"
The harshness was back in Elena's voice, but
this time from anger. "A group of mortals who knew about Immortals."
"Watchers?" Cassandra asked.
Elena looked at her sidelong. "I should
have known you'd know about them." She shook her head and released
Cassandra's hand, closing and opening her fist. "They were Watchers,
but they weren't like the ones who just write chronicles, like Joe Dawson.
That little sub-human group of fucking elitists and self-appointed saviors
of mankind were Hunters, and they had decided we were evil, an abomination.
So they tried to eliminate us, and all our friends. Even pregnant ones."
She took a big gulping breath, obviously fighting for control.
Cassandra closed her eyes briefly, remembering
other women. Pregnancy was no guarantee of safety, in this time or in any
other. Methos had been the first to show her that.
"She would have been a good mother," Elena
said, her voice quiet and slow. "And so would I. I wanted that
baby, too. I...." She turned around and walked to the far wall,
then abruptly pulled the cloth cover off another canvas. It was a
sketch, the bare beginnings of a portrait of a seated couple. Cassandra
couldn't even tell if it was a man and a woman, or two women. Elena
looked at it briefly, then placed the cloth back over it. Elena dusted
off her hands and said briskly, "I thought maybe you might like to use
some of this stuff. No one has touched it since--"
Elena stopped there, but Cassandra had no
trouble finishing the sentence: since Maria died. Cassandra knew
Elena had not been to the cabin since that day, either. And yet in
spite of her painful past, Elena had brought Cassandra here today and shared
this part of herself, and shared her memories of Maria. The trust
Elena was showing, and the thoughtfulness of the invitation, were precious
gifts, offered in atonement for Elena's earlier harsh words. Elena
had not changed that much over the years after all; she was still brash
and impulsive, still generous and considerate.
"You're the artistic type, aren't you?" Elena
asked, before Cassandra had said anything. "You draw? Or paint?"
"I used to," Cassandra said. "But I
haven't--"
"--lately," Elena broke in and finished for
her, then grinned. "Want to start again?"
"Yes," Cassandra said, then repeated more
firmly, "Yes. I do." She went to Elena, reaching out to touch
her arm, trying not to be so cold. "Thank you, Elena, for sharing
this with me."
"This is an art studio," Elena said.
"It should be used by an 'artiste'." Then her grin broadened.
"Didn't you use to worship the ancient Muses? Let's see...."
She closed her eye in obvious concentration, then began. "Erato,
Euterpe, Thalia, Polyhymnia, Clio, Calliope...." She counted each
off on her fingers, then continued, "Melpomene, Urania ... damn, I can't
remember the ninth one." She opened her eye and smiled at Cassandra.
"You are old enough, aren't you?" she teased.
Cassandra was more than old enough, and she
felt even older. But she laughed, amused and almost accustomed by
now to Elena's abrupt mood changes, to her peculiar sense of humor.
"Very good recitation," she teased back in her best "teacher" voice.
"Yes, I am old enough, and yes, I did sacrifice to the Muses." And
to Artemis and Aphrodite, but they had been the powerful Minoan goddesses,
not the later, weakened Greek versions. "The ninth Muse is Terpsichore."
"Terpsichore!" Elena said, snapping her fingers
in frustration.
"Muse of dance," Cassandra added for good
measure. "Speaking of dance, you were right the other day, Elena.
I do need to get more exercise. Maybe I could join you in your workouts,
when we get back to the house?"
Elena tilted her head and regarded Cassandra
for a long moment. "You mean sparring?"
"Perhaps something less ... confrontational?"
Neither of them was ready for that possible level of violence, not with
the anger still within them, still between them. "You mentioned O'Sensei;
do you do Aikido?"
"Yes," Elena agreed enthusiastically.
"I've just been back to Japan, recently. I can tell you what I understand
about the philosophy of it, show you the circles in motion, the beginning
moves. Do you want to start learning the basics?
"Yes," Cassandra said again. "I do."
~~~~~
"Quite a thunderstorm we had last night," Elena
said a week later, as she picked up another fallen branch from where it
lay on the path. "Really shook the house."
Cassandra dumped her load of sticks and twigs
into the wheelbarrow, then adjusted the tie on her ponytail and wiped the
sweat from the back of her neck. The storm had cooled things off
a bit, but it just made the air that much more humid. "The rain felt
good, though."
"It sure did," Elena agreed, throwing the
branch onto the pile of wood at the base of the *ombu* tree. "The
last time I played in the rain like that was ... with Duncan. In
Paris. We really couldn't strip all the way down like you and I did,
of course," she said, winking. "But he and I got so wet, we looked
like we'd gone swimming in the Seine. And you know 'la boue de Paris'."
"Yes," Cassandra said, remembering when Paris
had had quite a reputation for its mud--a peculiarly slimy, odorous substance.
"Your idea about stomping in mud puddles was great, too, Elena," Cassandra
said, grinning. "You looked like a spotted leopard."
"So did you," Elena said, grinning herself.
"And it felt good." She picked up another branch and tossed it. "Do
you do that often?"
"Oh, sometimes," Cassandra answered, reaching
for more twigs. "Not in Scotland, of course, or I would have been
outside every day, but I grew up in a desert. When it rained--every
three or four years or so--all the people would disrobe and stand in the
rain, singing a song of welcome and praise." She had tried to sing
that song last night, but she had forgotten the words long ago, and now
the music had gone, too. "Need a hand?" she asked Elena, who was
dragging a tree limb along the grass.
"Please," Elena said, and Cassandra lifted
the other end, and together they carried the limb to the pile. "That
will be good firewood, come next winter," Elena said in satisfaction, dusting
off her hands. "Let's see how the garden is doing."
Francesca, a young housemaid, was restaking
the tomato plants, and two older women walked by, each carrying a basket
of yellow and white roses. "*Buenos dias, senoritas,*" the women
said to the Immortals, then headed for the gate in the tall iron fence
which surrounded the house and garden.
Elena nodded at them, then led the way to
the rose bushes climbing the fence. "A lot of the rose bushes were
damaged by the hail. We'll have to do some pruning, but we'd be cutting
the roses anyway today, to decorate the chapel."
"Is that for the *Festival de la Imaculada
Concepcion de Nuestra Senora*?" Cassandra asked, picking up a pair of gloves
from the basket the women had left behind, trying to remember which Catholic
feast day occurred in early December.
"Yes," Elena said, reaching for the other
pair of gloves. "There's a bigger celebration in Veiloso, of course,
and that's the nearest church. But here in our own little chapel
we give praise--*la Virgen Maria* is very popular in these parts--and Padre
Silvero from the orphanage comes every year, for the big feast days.
He never leaves empty-handed."
Cassandra nodded as she cut off great yellow
blooms with the clippers, then handed the roses to Elena to place in the
basket. She knew Elena was the sole support of a Catholic orphanage-school
in the area, and several men and women in habits had come to the *estancia*
during her visit. None of them had left empty-handed either.
Elena was a good, faithful daughter of the Mother Church, even now.
"Were you ever a nun, Elena?" Cassandra asked, switching to English to
talk about immortality, for Francesca was close by.
"Me?" Elena started laughing.
"Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. I've spent several years resting--actually
hiding--in convents. In fact, I remember one particular Mother Superior
in Mexico who would have made an Immortal to be really afraid of!
But I never took vows. Obedience, poverty, and chastity are not my style,
and as for all the prayers ... no." She shook her head. "When
I was a girl I could barely get through a rosary without being told to
be still, and even today I have trouble sitting for long. Short attention
span," she said ruefully. She put the last of the flowers in the
basket, then asked, "But what about you? Were you ever a nun?"
"Several times," Cassandra said, trying to
decide where to start pruning. "Convents weren't that bad.
Quiet, usually peaceful, no Immortals, no men."
Elena started laughing again. "See?
Not my style at all." She gave Cassandra a curious glance while she
wove a rose cane through the iron bars of the fence. "Have you always
hated men?"
"I don't hate men," Cassandra said, stopping
with the clippers in her hand. "Well," she admitted, "not all of
them." She went back to snipping off the canes, each cut precisely
placed--snip, snip, snip. "At least, not all of the time."
She bent down and snipped off a long cane that had been broken near the
root.
"*Mi vida,*" Elena said. "I think that
poor bush has been pruned enough."
Cassandra stopped again and looked at it.
Elena was right; there wasn't much left. Cassandra set the clippers
in the basket, then went to sit on a bench under the leafy grape arbor,
and Elena joined her there. "I don't hate men," Cassandra tried to
explain. "I just don't like men *as* men. When they act like
human beings, they're fine."
"Men are men," Elena said wryly. "In
my experience, their primary motivation comes from their cocks."
Cassandra snorted in amusement; Elena never
minced words. "Oh, sometimes, some men act like people," Cassandra
said. "I just don't like them when they get macho, or start to come
onto me, or treat me like an idiot simply because I'm a woman, or--"
"Or most of the time," Elena concluded.
"Although you must admit, men can be very entertaining sometimes."
Then she asked curiously, "Don't you ever flirt, just for fun?"
"No." Cassandra shrugged once more and
said, "Flirting feels like ... advertising to me, like soliciting."
"You know, with the right person, sex can
be just for fun, Cassandra," Elena said, stretching her arms slowly, luxuriously,
over her head, her T-shirt pulling tight over her breasts.
<Don't fight me, and this won't hurt.
It can be fun.>
"I never want a man to touch me again," Cassandra
said flatly, then stood and went back to the roses, but Methos's voice
came with her, inside her head.
<I can even make you like it, make you
beg me for more.>
Cassandra folded her arms closely around herself,
refusing to listen.
She couldn't refuse the memories. Methos
had been right; she had liked it, and she had begged him for more.
He had smiled at her-- not his usual cruel mocking smile, but a smile of
warmth, of tenderness, a smile she had trusted--and then he had given her
more. Later, she had eagerly asked to be allowed to do the same for him,
and he had smiled that smile and given her permission.
Then he had given her to Kronos, and never
looked at her again. Rape of body, rape of mind, rape of trust. Cassandra
picked up the clippers again and methodically squeezed the handles over
and over-- open and shut, open and shut, snip, snip, snip ...
Elena's soft touch on her arm made her jump.
"The voices?" Elena asked in concern, and Cassandra nodded stiffly.
"You said you didn't hear them at all yesterday," Elena said.
"I didn't," Cassandra agreed, hopelessly.
The voices would come back again and again to haunt her, just like her
enemies.
"That's a start," Elena encouraged her.
"I haven't had any nightmares these last two nights, so we are getting
somewhere. And I don't feel nearly as ... hesitant about being with
a man as I was, before you came. It's helped me so much to have you
here these last ten days." She patted Cassandra gently on the shoulder.
"I'm very impatient by nature, but even I realize it's going to take time,
Cassandra."
"I know," Cassandra said, trying to relax,
trying not to flinch from the other woman's touch. "My dreams aren't
so bad now, either. I think it helps, to get it out, into the open,
into the light."
"To let them go, instead of keeping them inside
us," Elena said, nodding. "When you shine a bright light on the monster,
you realize he's not so monstrous after all. I hadn't talked to anybody
for days, right before you got here. I just kept exercising, trying
to make myself tired enough to sleep without dreaming." She grinned.
"Guess I should have tried exorcising, instead."
Cassandra grimaced at the pun, in English,
no less, then acknowledged Elena's triumphant grin with a nod. "Good
one, Elena." Cassandra picked up the basket of roses. "Speaking of
exorcising, let's go to the chapel and help decorate it."
"OK," Elena said, "as long as I don't have
to say the rosary."
|
Elena swirled the wine in her glass, marveling
at its deep red color, the way the liquid flowed so easily, not at all
sticky and viscous like blood. She held the liquid in her mouth for
a moment, a slight dryness from the alcohol puckering the roof of her mouth,
then swallowed. Of course it didn't taste as good now, alone, as
it had with dinner, and she'd actually eaten a little piece of steak to
go with the wine. But it was good enough. She shrugged and
poured herself another glass from the bottle she had left over from dinner.
It was the second bottle, actually. She had drunk the first bottle
of wine all by herself, and she fully intended on drinking all of the second
one, too.
She sprawled more comfortably on the sofa,
settling her feet on the top shelf of the double-tiered coffee table, tracing
the geometric pattern of the sofa fabric with her fingertip, following
the lines of creams, rusts, and reds. More red. It must be
late, maybe near midnight. The wine quivered in the glass as her
hand trembled, ever so slightly. Argentina was one of the largest
wine producers in the world, but they didn't export much--they drank it
all, she thought, amused. Or maybe it wasn't so amusing.
She drank again, not caring. She didn't
care about anything. She felt tired but not sleepy; she didn't even
have the energy to go into her library and read or listen to music, or
even to go to bed. Of course, that was hardly surprising. Working
out for most of her mornings; eating barely the minimum; not sleeping very
well; existing mostly on coffee and alcohol--especially alcohol--these
were not conducive to good health. And listening to Cassandra's horror
stories--and remembering her own--while cathartic, also helped remind her
what a mess she'd made of her long, wretched life.
Elena took another drink, then rested her
head on the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling, wondering how
hard it would be-- this time--to stop drinking.
She swallowed her mouthful of wine.
~~~~~
Cassandra lay back on the sofa cushions in
the cabin, feeling unusually relaxed and at peace. While the *estancia*
reflected Elena's love of bright colors, especially reds, this cabin had
obviously been influenced by Maria's more sedate tastes. The furniture
and pillows were all done in sea-greens and sky-blues, and an evening breeze
fluttered the off-white curtains against beige walls. Over the fireplace,
one of Maria's paintings repeated the ocean theme, with bright yellow sunshine
on the beach umbrellas providing just a touch of cheerful color.
And just a touch was enough. Cassandra
found Elena's constant frenetic energy exhausting. She had driven
out to the cabin by herself several times during these last two weeks,
seeking peace and solitude. This time, she had come with still another
reason--she wanted to get through a night without alcohol. She and
Elena had been talking constantly ever since she had arrived, and that
had been helpful. But they had also been drinking constantly, and
that was not. Cassandra knew she needed to stop drinking.
And she wanted to start painting. On
her earlier visits, she had finished some pencil drawings, then experimented
with the modern paints, learning the way they mixed and flowed and dried,
painting abstract sketches and swatches of color. The acrylic paints
were brilliant in color and smooth in texture, and fine details should
be easy to paint. She hoped.
Cassandra climbed to the loft, then stared
at the blank canvas on the easel for a moment before selecting her paints:
bright reds and yellows and golds. Since she had been in Argentina,
it had become her habit to watch the sunrise from Elena's bedroom balcony,
to see the sun lift laboriously from the flat edge of the pampa in a glorious
explosion of color and cloud. She wanted to capture that beauty on
canvas.
Or try to capture it, anyway. It had
been centuries since she had painted anything, but she thought was ready
to start.
She wasn't.
Cassandra set the paintbrush on the color
palette and walked away from the easel, pressing her hands together to
stop the trembling, then clutching at the railing while she stared into
the living room below. She wanted a drink.
~~~~~
The back of Elena's head suddenly tightened
with the indisputable presence of another Immortal, and a dog barked as
a car drove up to the front gate. For a moment, just for a second,
she panicked--but then she realized it was probably Cassandra, coming back
instead of spending the night at the cabin, as she had said she might do.
Raul was just welcoming her back, happy and excited to see her.
Elena couldn't say she was happy and excited
about much of anything, but she was glad Cassandra was back. She
wondered how much liquor Cassandra had taken with her to the cabin.
She wanted to ask Cassandra if *she* could stop drinking.
Then the dog stopped barking abruptly, probably
because Cassandra was petting him. Or maybe ... Cassandra wouldn't
drive up to the front; she'd take the Jeep back to the garage.
Elena glanced at her katana, lying on the
bottom shelf of the coffee table, within easy reach, as always. The
richly carved ivory hilt was dull, in stark contrast to the gleaming black
lacquered sheath. She blinked back tears as she remembered another sword,
straight instead of curved, gray instead of black and ivory. But
her broadsword--the broadsword her father, Don Alvaro, had gifted her with
centuries before--was gone. Broken. Destroyed.
Well, she wasn't destroyed. Not anymore.
She never had been. And in a pinch, the katana would work.
It already had.
She continued sipping her wine, but sat up,
taking her feet off the coffee table, more alert, and switched the glass
to her right hand, freeing up her sword hand, which was suddenly no longer
trembling. Adrenaline was a wonderful cure for the shakes.
She heard hurried, booted footsteps on the
staircase as Juanito rushed down. "Senorita, there is a man at the
gate, a stranger--," he breathed.
"I know," Elena interrupted briskly.
Obviously he'd seen the Immortal from his window upstairs, where he was
staying, right in the house, close to Elena, to *protect* her. It
was sweet, but no longer necessary, and tonight she would tell him so.
She could deal with being alone in the house now, without a nursemaid.
After she dealt with this next Immortal. "Is the gate locked?"
"No."
"Good. Stay out of the way," she ordered.
Juanito hesitated briefly, then nodded and
headed quickly toward the kitchen and out the back door.
A moment later there was a booming knock on
the door, someone using a fist. The Immortal was not bothering with
the doorbell, and she recognized the sense of drama, of impending doom,
in his action. Ordinarily she might have been amused. But not today.
Today it was another Immortal, coming to challenge her at her own house!
Another one! *!Mierda!*
She took deep breaths, filling her body with
oxygen, letting the rage course through her, overtake her. This Immortal
didn't have the guts to come at her before, when she was healthy; he only
came skulking around when he thought she was weak, hurt, vulnerable. Blinded
in one eye. *!Cobarde!* He had no honor, and soon, like the
other one before him, he'd have no head.
Elena moved forward in her seat a little,
placing her feet under her so she could get up quickly and effortlessly.
Then she took another sip of her wine. She couldn't even feel the
effects of the alcohol any more. All she could feel was rage.
And contempt.
"*!Veni!*" she called in a firm voice, inviting
the other Immortal into her parlor, and to his death.
She remembered something Connor MacLeod had
said to her once, and she murmured to herself, "It's show-time."
~~~~~
Cassandra faced the easel once more.
The canvas lay blank, white, and empty before her. Once that had
been an invitation. Now it was a challenge.
There was nothing to be frightened of. She
could do this. She could create again. She didn't have to spend
her life in an endless, pointless, stupid waste of waiting. And an
even more stupid waste of hating. That was over. She was free.
She could be free, if she could let herself
be alive again, let herself laugh and love. She could live again,
if she could just remember how. If she could just find the courage
to try.
Cassandra took a deep breath, picked up the
paintbrush, and started to paint.
~~~~
Elena watched the door, waiting. "*!Entra,
hombre!*" she called again, impatiently.
The door opened and the Immortal stepped inside.
He was small, blond, muscular, dressed all in black, from his shirt and
black pants to his duster and shiny boots--probably, like the pounding
on the door, also for dramatic effect. Physically, he was perhaps
only seventeen. This was all good news. She had the advantage
of reach and, she hoped, strength. Maybe experience, too.
He walked into the living room with a long
even stride, a youthful strut that reminded her of Richie. He stopped
two meters from where she sat, then crossed his arms in front of his chest
and openly studied her. His eyes were an intense blue, deepened by
the black clothes to almost turquoise. His sneer was arrogant, and
annoying. "Duran?"
She could smell his aftershave from here ...
Brut? Cheap stuff! He could probably smell the alcohol on her
from there, but at least it was expensive alcohol. Of course, he
didn't need to smell it. He could see it--the mostly empty bottle,
the wine glass in her hand. Fortunately, she hadn't started on the Scotch
yet tonight. He was too early--lucky for her. She lifted her
glass to him in an ironic toast and nodded slightly, acknowledging her
name, but not letting her anger show. Yet.
He announced, "*Me llamo* Alexander--"
"I don't care what your name is, *pendejo,*"
she interrupted him. "The only thing I care about is how long you're going
to keep me from this *rioja,*" she said contemptuously, taking a last sip
and putting the glass down next to the bottle, scooping up her sword smoothly
as she stood, ready to cut him down on the spot.
Alexander automatically took a step back from
her, shifting his weight a little. He was grim, determined ... and
scared. And he had let her see it. Big mistake, little boy.
She smiled at him with anticipation, and she made sure he saw that.
"Let's go."
~~~~~
A sunrise didn't have to be that difficult
to paint, Cassandra reflected, as she started to paint the grass fields
of the pampa. There didn't have to be realistic details or tricky perspectives.
She could use the style Elena had told her was called Impressionism, and
focus more on the colors than on getting each cloud and blade of grass
exactly right.
This wouldn't be that hard.
~~~~~
Alexander followed Elena in his rental car
to "the killing fields," a small clearing by the canal, two kilometers
from the cabin, near the stand of *ombu* trees.
Elena got out of the Jeep, leaving her lights
on so they could see to fight, glancing around as she did so. She
expected to kill this Alexander quickly, before her batteries died, and
her limited energy died as well. The tree close by the water still
had a white slash across the bark; she could see it contrasted against
the darkness of the trunk. She had gouged it with her katana just
a few weeks before, when she had beheaded the *other* Immortal who had
come for her. Someone else who had thought she was weak and helpless.
Surprise.
The boy Alexander stopped his car across from
hers in a cloud of dust and got out. He pulled out a rapier, placed
it on the car hood, then removed his duster and threw it back in through
the car window. He approached with his rapier already in hand, taking
no chances. The night was warm, although a faint breeze had started,
auguring the rain to come. She wondered if the sweat on his face
and staining his shirt was from the heat or from fear. No matter.
She'd have to do something about his rental car.
"Duran--," he began.
"We're wasting time," she interrupted him
again. "It smells like rain, and I don't want to get wet."
Her head was clear, all traces of the alcohol gone, and even the rage was
gone by now, replaced with a cold determination--she had let the passion
make her stronger, help her get ready, but she knew better than to fight
in anger. It was time to put away the anger and begin the fight.
~~~~~
Cassandra stepped back from the easel and opened the window at the end of the loft, then listened to the raindrops dancing on the leaves of the *ombu* trees that Elena had planted all around the cabin, almost two centuries before. Cassandra inhaled deeply of the newly-washed air, then went back to the painting. The pampa was done. It was time for the sunrise.
~~~~~
Elena bent her knees and sank down a little,
further lowering her center of gravity. It had started raining, a
light shower that was getting progressively stronger, and she didn't want
to slip on the wet grass. Or the blood.
Within the first three passes, she had discovered
that Alexander what's-his-name was a strong and skilled fencer. Someone
had taken the time and trouble to teach him the basics, and teach him well.
Apparently his youth and energy and confidence had carried him so far.
But he was also as inexperienced as he looked. She wondered if he
was aware of the barely-audible whimpering sounds he was making with every
exhale. Probably.
*Sorry; your youth and energy won't carry
you this time, che,* Elena thought as she smiled at him.
He met her gaze, then lunged at her once more,
a desperate gambit which left him over-extended, off-balance, and open.
Elena could have impaled him then, finished it. Instead, she knocked
him to the ground and slashed at him, again, as he fell. He cried
out and lay panting, his sword up, his body curled in on itself; and she
waited, looking down on him. His shirt was only thin black ribbons
on his chest by now, crossed with red ribbons which healed and closed with
short bursts of blue light, only to be reopened again by her blade, sometimes
by using the identical maneuvers.
"You didn't think it would be this hard, did
you, little boy!" she said viciously. But she was tiring of it, and
the rain was getting harder, so she decided to finish him. When he'd
first arrived she'd been angry. Now she didn't care anymore.
He wasn't stupid, either. His blue eyes
were dark with pain and effort. Now they darkened even further with
fear as he saw his death on her face. He mumbled something under
his breath, "*Thee mou.*"
It sounded vaguely like Greek, which she didn't
understand. But she recognized a prayer when she heard it.
"God can't help you now, and I won't."
Slowly he pulled his tortured body upright.
He wanted to die on his feet, and she was going to let him. Only
that much--no more. "I don't want to die," he stated.
She'd listened closely this time. He
wasn't pleading, and he hadn't tried to run or tried to talk her out of
killing him. "Neither do I," she retorted. "But when you came
for me, you didn't care about that, did you?"
"No," he answered simply and honestly, laboriously
raising his sword to the en garde position for the last time.
She had to admire his honesty, and at the
end, blade in hand, he was proving he had *cojones.* At that point,
she almost let him go. At another time, she might have, but she couldn't
forget the cowardly, opportunistic timing of his challenge. He was
going to die tonight.
She enveloped his weapon and deftly twisted
it out of his hand. It flew through the air in a perfect arc and
landed point first in the grass three meters away.
Alexander looked at his rapier measuringly,
and then, amazingly, leaped toward it.
Elena took a long step to her left, raised
her katana with both hands, and swept down, beheading him. "I don't
care, either," she said, then waited to take his Quickening.
~~~~~
The pampa looked wrong, flat and dull, with
no hint of the reflected light from the sun. She should not have
painted the pampa first. Cassandra added a dash of yellow and a touch of
orange to the ochre and gray and green.
Those colors were wrong, too. The yellow
was too bright, the orange too brown. Maybe some red.
No. Now the whole painting felt off,
with the focus on the ground instead of in the sky. Maybe some more
red where the sun was supposed to be.
That didn't work, either. She had just
ruined the entire subtle effect she had been trying to create. The
sun blared in the center of the canvas, a splotch of red in a yellow and
orange mist. A five-year-old could have painted it.
More red was needed, much more. Cassandra
picked up the widest brush she could find. As lightning flickered
outside and the rain fell harder, Cassandra made wide sweeping strokes,
back and forth, up and down, top to bottom. Stroke by stroke, she
covered the canvas in red--bright red, vermilion red, blood red.
She wiped out and erased and destroyed.
Cassandra stepped back and looked at the completely
red canvas, then turned and walked away.
~~~~~
When it was over, Elena got to her feet even more slowly than he had. She was almost too exhausted to move, but she forced herself to go through his pockets, get his keys, and muscle his body and head into the trunk of his own car. Tomorrow--*manana*--she'd deal with Alexander what's-his-name. She stood in the rain, looking at nothing, panting. It was finished. She turned on her heel and walked away.
Rain came through the hole in the canvas top of the
Jeep and dripped on Cassandra's back in a steady maddening stream, and
the windshield wipers squealed on every backstroke. The dusty grass
road back to the *estancia* had become a muddy grass road, slippery and
treacherous. Cassandra drove faster. She wanted a drink.
To the east, light gray clouds against the
darker gray sky heralded the coming of the sun. The sunrise wouldn't
be glorious today--no pink-streaked sky, no explosions of color.
Except red.
Still, even if she hadn't managed to paint,
she wasn't a complete failure at everything. She had forced herself
to stay at the cabin almost all night, even gone outside for a walk in
the rain, and she hadn't had a drink. She could be proud of that.
When she arrived at the *estancia* it would be morning, and then she could
have a drink. Or two. Or maybe three.
She wanted a drink now. Cassandra drove
faster, while the rain dripped and the wipers squeaked. Finally,
she saw the lights and the large dark line of buildings against the horizon.
As she drove past the house she felt the familiar tingling on her neck
at the presence of another Immortal. That would wake Elena up.
Maybe they could have a drink together. Elena would understand.
Cassandra parked the Jeep in the garage and
headed for the back of the house. The rain was still falling, but
she didn't hurry as she opened the back gate and walked through the courtyard
to the kitchen door. She was already soaked. The kitchen light
was on, and the room smelled of fresh coffee and baking bread, but there
was no one there. Perhaps whoever was supposed to stay in the kitchen
tonight and attend to Elena--who was a notoriously bad sleeper--had gone
to the bathroom, or was somewhere else.
But Elena was still in the house and close
by; Cassandra could sense her. Cassandra followed the faint strains
of music and went through the living room to Elena's library. "Elena?"
Cassandra called, opening the door and taking half a step inside, peering
into the dark room.
The smells alerted her first--mingled scents
of blood and alcohol, a stink of fear. The sounds came next--a whisper-soft
step behind her, a swish of air from the moving blade of a sword.
With the instincts learned during three thousand years of running and living
in fear, Cassandra was already stepping sideways and ducking as Elena buried
her katana in the open door. "*!Parate, Elena!*" Cassandra commanded,
using the Voice as she scrambled farther into the library to escape, hoping
Elena would respond to the command to stop.
But Elena was screaming, "*!Te mato, carajo!
!Te voy a mandar al diablo!*" as she wrenched her blade out of the door,
and she did not hear.
Cassandra grabbed the nearest leather chair
and pushed it into Elena's path, all the time yelling herself, desperately
wishing she knew Elena's native Indian tongue, "*!Elena, para tu golpe!*"
Elena sidestepped the chair easily and came
forward, sword raised above her head, still screaming at the top of her
lungs, "!*No mas! !Ni uno mas! !Los voy a matar a todos!*" followed
by a string of curses.
Cassandra wasn't interested in Elena's vocabulary;
the only thing that mattered now was getting away from this madwoman, and
away from that sword. Goddess! Elena was really trying to kill
her! Too far to the window to go out it, too close to the wall of
books to maneuver, and Elena was only getting closer, still swearing. Cassandra
half-dove, half-scrambled over the desk, scattering papers and pens, but
she wasn't quick enough.
A searing line of agony sliced through her
from left shoulder to waist, and Cassandra fell sideways with a cry of
pain. The wound wasn't too deep, though already she could feel hot
blood all along her side. She forced herself to keep moving, to push
down the fear, and she struggled away from the next sword thrust, meant
to impale her. She rolled off the desk and onto the floor.
Cassandra kept rolling, then got to her feet
to face Elena, who had just climbed onto the desk herself, looking for
the advantage of high ground. Elena was still screaming incoherent
obscenities, and Cassandra decided to shut her up.
She reached sideways and grabbed the floor
lamp next to the wall, then swung the long pole horizontally at Elena's
legs, knocking her down onto the desk. It was Elena's turn to yell
in pain--but now their faces were almost level with each other, and Elena
was finally quiet enough to listen. Cassandra looked into Elena's
one eye and commanded, "*PARATE!*" using all her own fear and rage and
everything she knew about Elena to add power to the word, to freeze Elena
where she lay.
And Elena froze, lying on her side on the
desk, her sword held two-handed in front of her, the tip of the blade quivering
slightly as her muscles protested. Cassandra took a deep breath,
splitting open the still-healing skin on her back. Fresh blood poured
down her ribs, and fresh pain and rage poured through her. Elena
was staring at her in shock, and she opened her mouth to speak, but Cassandra
had heard quite enough of the other woman's ravings. "Keep silent,
Elena," Cassandra ordered, and then turned on the light over the desk.
Elena blinked at the brightness, but did not move when Cassandra reached
forward with one hand and gripped the hilt of Elena's sword.
"Give me your sword, Elena," Cassandra commanded,
and the other woman's fingers relaxed enough for Cassandra to wrench the
katana from Elena's grasp. "Good girl," Cassandra said approvingly
and noticed with cold amusement the flare of anger--and awareness--in Elena's
eye.
Good. Elena needed a lesson in manners,
and Cassandra wanted her to remember it. "You wanted me to use the
Voice on you, remember, Elena?" Cassandra said sweetly. "So you would
know what it felt like? Well, now is your chance." Cassandra
took a step backward and shifted to the Voice of Command. "Get off
the desk, Elena."
The other woman complied, stiffly and none
too steadily, now that the bloodlust had been drained from her. Elena
stood in front of the desk, wavering on her feet, waiting for the next
command.
Cassandra drew in a deep breath and nearly
gagged. The room still stank of blood and fear and alcohol, but now
the strongest scents of blood and fear were hers. But not for much
longer; it was Elena's turn. "You seem tired, Elena," Cassandra said
in mock concern, then said firmly, "Kneel."
Elena trembled as her knees bent, but she
ended up on the floor. It took her a moment or two to lift her head,
but she finally managed it, tilting it to look up at Cassandra, the anger
in her eye deepened to rage and hate.
Cassandra was not impressed. Elena couldn't
even begin to understand rage, had not the faintest conception of what
hate really was. Cassandra knew, and she could taste them right now,
hot and salty-sweet like the blood on her back, cold and black and dead
like rotten ice. She lifted the katana and held it level with Elena's
neck, about a foot away, so that Elena could see it, and then Cassandra
moved in closer.
"An elegant weapon, Elena," she said, holding
it just away from the smooth, dusky skin of Elena's neck. "Slim,
black, deadly--rather like you." Cassandra tilted her head to examine
the sheen of the metal, the gentle curve of the blade. Elena's neck
would fit nicely within that arc. "Shall I break your sword, Elena?"
Cassandra asked. "Shall I snap it in two?" Bethel had snapped
Elena's broadsword, just like Roland and Kronos had broken all of hers.
So many broken swords over the centuries, so many broken dreams.
She looked over at Elena, whose one remaining
eye now gleamed with both fury and despair. Poor, poor Elena.
To have suffered so much, to have been so abused. Cassandra tightened
her grip on the sword and smiled. Elena knew nothing. She know
nothing of real fear, nothing of real vulnerability, nothing of real despair,
but Cassandra was going to teach her tonight.
As Cassandra brought the blade closer, Elena
drew back, bringing her hands up to protect her neck. "Stop, Elena,"
Cassandra ordered. "Sit back on your heels. Hands on your thighs."
Elena complied, then Cassandra brought the edge of the blade right under
Elena's chin, forcing her head back, the sharp edge just nicking the skin.
"I don't think I'll break your sword, after
all, Elena," Cassandra said to her silent victim, going back to looking
at the weapon. "It's so beautiful. And so useful. I'm sure
you have found it so. I think I will, too."
She looked at Elena and smiled again, slowly.
The other woman was breathing rapidly through her nose, but she didn't
look completely terrified yet, not the way Cassandra had felt just a few
minutes before, not the way Cassandra wanted her to feel. Telling
Elena to lean into her own blade would be the most effective way to terrify
her--it had worked on Connor, after all--but Elena was too drunk even to
stand. Pity.
"Don't move, Elena," Cassandra said softly.
"Not at all." Cassandra twisted the blade just enough to slice into the
skin, and then she watched the slight puckering of the flesh as it parted
under the blade; watched the dark beads of blood appear, a choker necklace
of black pearls; watched the pearls flatten and grow, reaching out to each
other, forging a collar of death. The scent of blood was hot and
salty-sweet, and this time, it wasn't her own.
Neither was the fear. Elena had closed
her eye, and now she was just kneeling there, barely breathing, rigid with
effort, trying not to sway, just waiting for death. Good.
Cassandra knew she could do this. Oh,
yes, she could!--slice off Elena's head and take the Quickening, revel
in that glorious pain, take the revenge she'd been denied for so long.
To kill would be so easy, so satisfying, so ...*good*!
Cassandra pulled the sword back for the blow,
and Elena slumped suddenly, her strength totally spent, gagging, the blood
dripping onto her chest. Cassandra stopped with the sword held high.
Suddenly the rage wasn't so hot and sweet anymore, and the hate wasn't
so cold. She started to tremble, realizing what she'd almost done--again.
Cassandra carefully set the katana down on
the desk and stepped away from it. Elena was still kneeling on the
floor, her head down now, gulping air with every breath, and Cassandra
briefly debated telling her to forget all about this. However, they
both needed to learn this lesson, and they needed to talk about what had
happened. But not tonight.
"Sleep," Cassandra said, a final command.
"Sleep," she urged, her voice low and soothing, and Elena collapsed onto
her side on the floor and fell asleep.
Cassandra's trembling turned to shaking, with
mingled fear and relief and rage. And, she realized, with the need
for a drink. She didn't just want a drink; she needed one.
She took another deep breath and left the room, then went outside, away
from the liquor, away from the sword, away from Elena's vulnerable and
very tempting neck.
The rain had finally stopped, but the air
felt thick with moisture, and the early morning light was gray. Cassandra
stood on the patio for a moment, still breathing deeply, taking in the
familiar smells of horse, manure, and ripening corn, letting the tension
of Elena's "welcome home" fade away, trying to control the remnants of
her own bloody rage.
Juanito came into the back courtyard from
one of the other houses. He had apparently been watching for her, or for
Elena.
"Juanito!" Cassandra called, and he came to
meet her by the kitchen door. "Your mistress needs watching."
"She is all right?" Juanito asked in a worried
tone. "She told us to get out of the house, and I'm glad you were
here to talk to her, Senorita Cassandra."
Cassandra did not tell Juanito that she and
Elena had just had a very short, very blunt, conversation. "She is
asleep in the library," Cassandra told him, "but she might have more nightmares.
Do not get too close, and do not wake her up."
Juanito nodded. "I know, but this was
not just another nightmare. A man came about midnight, and he left with
the senorita." Juanito looked at the ground for a moment, then looked
up at Cassandra again, his eyes dark, not bothering to hide his fear.
"She came back alone."
Cassandra nodded slowly, not really surprised.
Tonight Elena had been screaming, "Not one more!" and earlier she had said,
"Everyone comes for me." This made two Immortals in the last three
weeks, and Elena had mentioned another one, an insistent Italian whom Duncan
had dispatched. So stupid of Elena, so irresponsible! To live
here so exposed, to endanger all of these people she cared about, just
so she could have a home. Spoiled, selfish child! Elena was
going to have to grow up and leave home sometime, and the sooner the better.
Juanito looked toward the house grimly and
asked Cassandra, "How many more will come?" He turned to her, desperation
on his face. "How many?"
She could not answer that, and Juanito knew
it. "Tell me when she wakes," Cassandra said. "She and I need
to talk more." Juanito nodded and went toward the house, while Cassandra
headed out into the fields. She wanted to drink. She wanted
to break something. She wanted to kill Elena.
She went running.
=================================================
Elena lifted her head, a sour taste
in her mouth. She tried to open her eye, but the bright light--it
was sunlight, coming through the window--was physically painful.
Her cheek had been lying on a wet spot on the tile floor, and she wiped
her face with the back of her hand. Her head felt like it had been
bashed in, and her stomach--
*!Madre de Dios!* Cassandra! Last night
she'd tried to behead Cassandra, oh, yes, she had; she'd attacked Cassandra
with a sword, and Cassandra ... Cassandra had used the Voice on her.
Even dead-drunk last night and hungover and
sick now, Elena clearly remembered the Voice. She remembered the
words working their way inside her, sinuously, like a clinging vine, tendrils
reaching deeply into her mind and clamping down, compelling, commanding.
Irresistible. Leaving her as helpless as her torturer, Claude Bethel,
had left her. She also remembered Cassandra ordering her to kneel,
to *kneel!* Elena brought a hand to her neck and felt the not-yet-healed
wound there. It hurt.
Cassandra had done that; she'd been going
to take her head. No mistake about that. But Bethel had been
her enemy--Cassandra was supposed to be a friend.
Elena sat up suddenly, filled with rage, and
lurched to her feet, looking around for her katana. There it was
on the desk, and she took it in her hand, automatically feeling stronger,
better. But someone else was in the room with her, and she hadn't
even noticed him. Juanito Onioco was sprawled on the sofa, asleep.
She wanted to ask him what the devil he was
doing here. Just the night before, she'd told him he didn't need
to stay in the house anymore, protecting her. She hadn't been very
nice about it, either. In fact, she'd told him and Carmela and all
the others to get the hell out.
But as she opened her mouth to speak, she
cried out instead, then staggered the few meters to the bathroom, sinking
to her knees onto the cold tile, dropping the sword, and emptying out a
bottle's worth of Scotch and anything else that was in her stomach, or
had ever been in her stomach. In the back of her mind, glowing like
a hidden ember, was the sensation of another Immortal right here in the
house, and the knowledge of how vulnerable she herself was, on her knees
again, vomiting with her back to the open door.
But it didn't matter where she was, or even
if she was armed. Cassandra could attack her with the Voice alone, from
across the room--how could Elena have forgotten that!?--stripping her of
all her will and reducing her to a slave--a slave on her knees. Elena
closed her eyes. She'd been on her knees in front of other men and
women before: her father, Mother Superior, O'Sensei. But it had always
been of her own free will--until Bethel. And now Cassandra.
She pushed against the toilet seat and stood,
then moved past the sink, avoiding looking at herself in the mirror.
She didn't have to look. She knew how she looked, how she smelled.
She got inside the tiny shower, clothes and all, turned on the cold water
and let the hard spray wake her, revive her, clean her a little.
After a minute, she turned off the water and stepped outside, her shoes
sloshing, and bent to pick up her sword.
Elena stood up, dizzy. She needed a
little time to recover. She was in no shape to fight, no condition
to face anyone, and yet she had to talk to Cassandra now, right now!
Her gun! She needed to get her gun! It was upstairs, in her
bedroom. She headed for the stairs and found Juanito hovering in
the living room. "Where is she?" Elena asked him.
"I'm not sure," he replied. "I'm sorry;
I fell asleep. But--"
"She's in the house. Give me your gun,"
she ordered, holding out her right hand, the one without her sword in it.
She knew Juanito had been carrying a gun since the second Immortal had
come, right after Duncan had left. But he wasn't going to use it,
not on an Immortal. Killing Immortals was her job, and Elena was
good at her job.
"Por favor, senorita," he ventured, breathless.
"I don't think--"
"Give me the gun, Juanito," she repeated calmly,
and this time he reluctantly obeyed. Elena knew he liked Cassandra.
They all did. But he hadn't heard the Voice, felt it possessing him.
Raping him. Cassandra hadn't cut into his neck, either, or threatened to
kill him while he knelt helplessly. And he shouldn't even be here.
"Go home, *hombre,*" she called over her shoulder as she rushed to the
stairs. "Stay out of this."
She put the gun and sword down on the bottom
step and sat down to pull off her sodden shoes and socks, all the time
taking deep breaths, trying to get oxygen into her lungs and her brain,
fighting the nausea that threatened to bring her back down to her knees,
her fucking knees, again! Then she stood and slid the katana inside
the belt of her shorts, close to her hand. Juanito's gun was loaded,
of course, and she took off the safety and chambered a round.
As she rushed up the steps she repeated to
herself, "I attacked her, she was just defending herself, she didn't break
her word to me, she didn't take my head," but overlying that was the sound
of that Voice, stripping her of her will. "Stop. Kneel.
Be silent and hold still while I cut your head off." Like a steer
to the slaughter!
And Elena had obeyed, just like she had obeyed
Bethel.
She hit the top step running and without preamble,
without even trying to be quiet, she burst into Cassandra's bedroom.
Hitting the door made her head swim, but she ignored it, forcing her concentration
on her enemy.
Cassandra was already facing the door, her
hands at her sides, looking cool and comfortable in white shorts and a
green cotton shirt. "Elena--," she began, not at all surprised or
upset, only watchful.
"No! Shut up! Don't say a word,
not one word!" Elena held the automatic in both hands, the gun barrel slightly
trembling. She could shoot Cassandra; she could shoot her in the
face, a head shot. It wouldn't be easy but she could make that shot at
this distance, empty her gun into Cassandra's calm face. Maybe even
that wouldn't stop Cassandra from using the Voice again.
The Voice. Elena's finger started to
squeeze the trigger--but no, Cassandra had *not* taken her head, and Elena
couldn't shoot the other Immortal until she was sure. "You used the
Voice on me, Cassandra. That's what it was, that ... rape, that control
of my body, my mind! That's what it was, the Voice!" she accused,
her own voice shaking.
Cassandra nodded, not saying even one word,
the end of her long ponytail swaying with the movement.
Cassandra wasn't lying, wasn't denying it
or excusing it. Elena's finger tightened on the trigger again.
But then she remembered what Cassandra had said: *I swear to you, Mariaelena
Concepcion Duran y Agramonte, that I will not use the Voice on you, unless
you try to kill me.*
*Unless you try to kill me.*
Panting in effort, and yes, still in fear,
Elena nevertheless lowered the gun to her side, effectively giving up her
only defense against the older Immortal. "Unless I try to kill you,"
she murmured.
But Cassandra heard. "Yes, Elena," Cassandra
said, each word careful and precise, "you tried to kill me. You came
at me with your sword, and you were going to take my head. Do you
remember that?"
Elena nodded. "Ay, si. I remember
it very well," she answered. She couldn't get her voice to stop trembling.
"I also remember what you did to me."
Cassandra sat down on the bed and crossed
her legs in full lotus position, and Elena relaxed, a little. Cassandra
was lowering her guard, the same as Elena had done.
"Yes, I used the Voice," Cassandra said.
"I was afraid for my life." She looked Elena over with a hint of
a smile on her face. "You're rather intimidating when you have a naked
blade in your hand and you're screaming like a banshee, Elena. Do
you know that?"
Elena nodded again, smiling a little herself.
In spite of her own fear and weakened condition and Cassandra's all-powerful
Voice, she really had come close to killing Cassandra, hadn't she?
"I scared you, eh?" she said.
"Yes, you frightened me," Cassandra acknowledged,
"and I wanted to frighten you."
So, that's what it had been. An eye
for an eye. Still ... No! "No, you didn't just want to frighten me,
Cassandra!" Elena burst out, making the pounding in her head even worse.
"You wanted to take my head. You *wanted* to!" she exclaimed, daring
Cassandra to deny that.
"Of course I wanted to!" Cassandra shot back.
"You wanted to take mine!"
"No, no!" Elena protested. "I didn't
even know it was you! I though it was just another Immortal coming
for me! Look, Cassandra," she began, "there was someone else last
night, a Greek, I think. I told you before. They won't stop
coming. And I was so drunk, afterward, I didn't even know it was
you. I didn't even care." She put her gun down on top of the
dresser, then held her hands open in front of her and pleaded, "Do you
understand?"
"Yes," Cassandra said. "I do.
I've been confused like that with other people, and I wasn't even drunk.
I was angry."
"Like last night?" Elena asked, seizing on
that as an excuse for Cassandra's behavior, for the way the other woman
had completely taken her over, body and mind. "Did you know it was
me?"
Cassandra looked away, then answered slowly,
"Part of me did. But to the other part, the part holding the sword,
you were just another Immortal who had tried to kill me." She met
Elena's gaze and said dryly, "I'm not very rational when it comes to losing
my head."
"Neither am I."
"I noticed," Cassandra replied, and the two
women managed to exchange meager smiles.
With the ease of long practice, Elena
grabbed her sword hilt to angle it just so and sank into the rocking chair,
grateful not to have to stand up anymore. She was starting to feel
less hungover, and now that she wasn't going to have to kill--or die--in
the next few minutes, the adrenaline rush was wearing off. But still,
her sleep hadn't been restful, and she was totally exhausted, body and
soul. She also wanted--no, she needed--a drink.
But that would have to wait, because there
was something else she had to ask Cassandra. "You liked it, didn't
you?" Elena accused. "When you were ... controlling me. I could see
it in your eyes, the pleasure you took from that kind of power."
Just like Bethel's eyes.
Cassandra turned her head to look out the
window for a moment, breathing slowly, before she answered. "You
know what's *really* frightening, Elena? You're right. Controlling
another person does make me feel better; it makes me feel safe. I
like power. So I don't let myself use the Voice, unless I absolutely
have to. Because I know, that once I start, I might not be able to stop.
Ever."
That was frightening. Elena didn't even
want to imagine Cassandra run amok, but all Elena said was, "Like an alcoholic."
She thought again about that drink she needed so badly.
"Exactly. Power's a drug for me, Elena,
and I'm addicted. Or I could be, if I let myself feel like that very
often, the way Roland did."
"The way B-Bethel did."
"And Methos, when he was a Horseman," Cassandra
pointed out. "The power of life and death over other people can make
you feel like a god."
Elena nodded, seeing the lure of that power
for all of them, even herself. Power did corrupt, didn't it?
Last night, she had toyed with that young Immortal, unnecessarily hurt
him over and over, and she had enjoyed it, yes, enjoyed it. That
little glimpse into the darkness in her own soul made Elena a little sick
again, and she swallowed her bile.
Elena also saw, more clearly than she ever
had before, that beneath Cassandra's beautiful, cool exterior was one messed
up, dangerous bitch. But was she, Elena, that much different?
Maybe not. But this time, at least, Alexander had been a stranger
come to kill her, whereas Cassandra.... "You know," Elena added, trying
to keep her teeth from grinding together, "you had already won. You
didn't have to force me to my knees, humiliate me, order me around.
You made me feel ... broken ... just the way B-Bethel did."
"Your worst nightmare," Cassandra said, then
sighed gently and closed her eyes, as if in pain. "It's mine, too,
to be so helpless. And everyone's, I suppose, but especially so for us."
She unfolded her long legs and got off the bed to go to the window and
stare at the garden below. "You're right, Elena," she said finally,
turning around. "I didn't have to. I just ... had a hard time
stopping myself."
"Yeah, well, I guess... You did stop yourself."
Elena still had her head, after all. "And...." And none of
this would have happened if she hadn't attacked Cassandra in the first
place. Right was right, and Elena had been wrong. So she said,
"Cassandra, listen. I betrayed you, I broke the laws of hospitality,
and I broke my word. Drunk or not, there's no excuse for what I did.
I want to apologize. The traditional way."
Without the slightest embarrassment, Elena
knelt in front of Cassandra and bowed her head. It was the same position
Elena had been in the night before, but there was a difference. This
was of her own free will. She wanted to do this. She had to.
Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Cassandra and said, "I'm sorry.
I ask for your forgiveness for breaking my word and attacking you, Cassandra."
Cassandra looked at Elena from across the
room, and Elena steadily met the older woman's gaze, to see what Cassandra
would do, knowing that if Cassandra didn't forgive her, she'd just have
to accept that. She might not easily forgive Cassandra, if their
situations were reversed. So Elena waited. On her knees.
Cassandra walked over and touched Elena gently
on the top of the head, then Cassandra knelt, too, settling back on her
heels in the Japanese style. She put her palms on the floor and bowed
her head almost to the ground.
Elena stared across at Cassandra. What
the hell--? "Why are you kneeling to me?"
Cassandra did not look up, but her words came
clearly. "I was wrong too, Elena."
"No, wait," Elena said, with some heat.
"I'm the one who's apologizing to you!"
"You're not the only one who needs to apologize,"
Cassandra snapped, sitting up and glaring at her.
"*!Cono!*" Elena swore, then opened her mouth,
closed it again. This was ridiculous! But for the first time in twenty-four
hours, she was actually amused. She pointed at her chest and finally
said, a smile in her voice, "But I started it!"
Cassandra started to snap back another retort,
then stopped herself and began to laugh, and Elena joined in. After
a moment, Cassandra asked ruefully, "Aren't we a pair? We can't even
apologize to each other without getting angry."
Messed up for sure. Shaking her head,
Elena put her hand on the bed beside her and got to her feet as Cassandra
rose smoothly. Elena ran a hand across her shaven, stubbly skull,
happy to have gotten the apology, discussion, argument, whatever it was,
over with. And happy to be still alive. She could actually
smell the roses in the garden through the open window. "So I take
it we forgive each other?"
"It would seem so," Cassandra said.
"Good," Elena said, nodding. "Great."
But then she continued, for there was one more thing. "Then I would
like to give you my word. Again. If you will accept it, Cassandra."
Elena held out both hands. "*Palabra de honor.*"
Cassandra took her hands. "And I give
you my word, Mariaelena. Again." A smile, a light squeeze, and then
Cassandra let go. "So, do we drink to this again, too?" she asked.
"I really want a drink," Elena said, rubbing
her hand over her mouth. "I need it. But I can't. I've
decided alcohol is bad for my health," she said wryly, touching the cut
on her neck.
"It's bad for both of us," Cassandra said.
"Let's go to the cabin and get away from the alcohol. That's why
I went yesterday."
"Well, I'm glad *one* of us was sober this
morning," Elena said seriously. "But ... the two of us alone at the
cabin? With a sword? Or two swords? Are you good with
that?" she asked, wondering if Cassandra would trust her anymore, word
or no word.
"Will you attack me when you're sober, Elena?"
Cassandra asked.
"No," Elena said immediately, sure about this,
at least, shaking her head, grateful that it wasn't throbbing anymore.
"And I won't use the Voice unless you attack
me." The two women shared a grim smile, and Cassandra said, "We can
do this, Elena."
"Yes," Elena agreed, relieved and hopeful.
"We can."
=================================================
"*!Carajo!* Elena exclaimed, taking the blow
on her right thigh. She gripped her weapon more tightly and circled warily,
her opponent moving with her. Elena focused all her concentration
on Cassandra. They were both sweaty, both determined to win.
"Got you that time," Cassandra said, grinning,
an exultant smile on her face.
"Yes," Elena admitted, not too grudgingly.
Of course, if they'd been fighting with real blades, instead of bamboo
*bokken,* her thigh muscle would be laid open now, and she'd be limping,
or maybe on the ground. Cassandra had gotten inside her guard.
That time. But Elena had gotten in at least four or five hits to each one
of Cassandra's. "Your point," Elena conceded, "this time."
A few passes, then Elena feinted to the left.
Cassandra had to move her sword across the
front of her own body to block Elena's blow--sometimes it was a joy to
be a left-handed fencer! Then Elena pressed against her opponent's
right shoulder, pushing Cassandra, out of balance now, back across the
slick wooden floor. But when Elena thrust at what should have been
Cassandra's exposed back, the other woman had already twirled, using her
own momentum to swing her *bokken* around barely in time, but solidly deflecting
what would have been a killing blow.
"*!Muy bien!*" Elena congratulated her.
"You're getting faster." She stepped back and pulled her *bokken* straight
up and down by her side to the end position. The two women had spent
the last five days at the cabin. On the way back to the *estancia*
this afternoon, Cassandra had suggested they spar before dinner, but with
*bokken,* not real swords. They had been at it for almost an hour,
and Elena knew they were both ready to stop. She bowed formally,
and Cassandra did the same.
As they were toweling off, she told Cassandra,
"I never liked that spinning stuff myself, because it exposes your back
to your opponent, makes you take your eyes off him. But if you're
fast enough, it works really well, and gives you extra hitting power."
She studied the older Immortal for a moment and said, "But I have a feeling
you know a tiny little bit about fencing; don't you?" she said, smiling
to make sure Cassandra knew she was joking. It was obvious to her
that Cassandra was an experienced swordswoman, although woefully out of
practice.
"A little bit, yes," Cassandra said, as she
blew a strand of hair off her forehead. "The old moves come back
easily enough, but I have a hard time learning the new ones." She
shook her head as she put the weapon away on the rack. "And there
are a lot of new ones to learn."
"Yes," Elena agreed. "We have to keep
up with the times. I've always found that hard to do. The old
ways are not always the best ways, not even in fencing. That's why
I practice every day. You should, too." Cassandra didn't respond
to that, and Elena knew why. She put away her *bokken,* then made her decision.
"Cassandra, come with me for a minute?"
The two women crossed the long ballroom-dojo, and Elena took down a rapier
from the wall where the weapons were hung. "Cassandra," she said,
standing in front of the other woman, offering her the blade flat on her
palms, "this is for you."
Cassandra made no move to take it. "Elena--"
"I want you to have it," Elena broke in.
"You need a sword to protect yourself, and I think I can spare one."
With a jerk of her head, she motioned to the ten or so weapons displayed
on the wall-- among them a Roman legionnaire's short sword, a Moorish scimitar,
a cutlass, and a massive double-handed long-sword over five feet long,
as well as a spear and a double-bladed ax. They represented some
of Don Alvaro's kills. And some of hers.
Cassandra hesitated, then smiled and nodded.
She bowed slightly, then took the weapon from Elena's hands. "Thank
you." She pulled it out of the scabbard and examined it, holding
it up to the light. "It's been well-cared for."
"A dull blade is useless," Elena said.
"This is one of the early Spanish rapiers, sixteenth century, I think.
It's double-edged so you can use it for cutting in addition to just thrusting.
Its original owner made the mistake of underestimating my father."
Cassandra took a few practice lunges, getting
the feel of it, testing the balance. "It's lighter than the broadswords
I've been using lately," she commented, then resheathed it. "Thank
you, Elena, for this gift," she said, actually reaching out to touch her
on the arm. "I needed one. It's a good blade, and a good choice
for me."
"I thought so," Elena said, pleased and a
little flattered. "And as the captain of the musketeers said to d'Artagnan
in the movie, it will 'keep your enemies a foot or two further distant.'"
Cassandra grinned. "Yes, it will.
And now I have something for you." She headed for the door, taking
the sword with her, and called over shoulder, "I'll be right back."
Elena was left to wait, and to wonder.
Cassandra had not left the *estancia* to do any shopping, and during their
time at the cabin, Cassandra had spent most of her time painting pictures
she meant to give to someone else. Elena had played the piano, listened
to music, meditated. But they had also spent a lot of time together--exercising,
working on the basics of Aikido, watching old movies, watching sunrises
and sunsets and the animals of the pampa, and not- drinking.
The not-drinking had taken a lot of energy.
Drying out and sweating out the D.T.'s were--Elena knew from long experience--the
worst part of drinking. She and Cassandra had slept in late at times
and stayed up late at other times, encouraging each other, trying not to
let the by-now-occasional nightmare get to them, not too much, as they
slept side by side in the double bed. They had, Elena hoped, learned
to trust each other again.
Cassandra soon came back with a neatly wrapped
rectangle, about the size of a large book.
Elena quickly tore the paper open and stared
at the framed charcoal drawing of *El Negro* running in all his glory,
wild and free.
"I saw him running almost every time I drove
out to the cabin," Cassandra said. "I thought you would like to see
him every day, too."
"Yes, I would," Elena said, touched.
The only art in her bedroom was a sketch that Pablo Picasso had given her,
and a watercolor of the *estancia* at sunrise that Maria had painted the
year she had died. Elena would put this drawing next to those.
"I'll put this on my bedroom wall, Cassandra, where I can see it every
morning. It will ... inspire me. Gracias, chica."
"*No hay de que.*"
The two women smiled at each other.
Then abruptly, impulsively, Elena put her arms around the older Immortal.
For a moment she felt Cassandra stiffen, then slowly relax. Elena
held Cassandra in a soft embrace and squeezed one more time, slightly,
then looked at the other woman. "Let's go get cleaned up," Elena
suggested, then led the way to the sauna.
~~~~~
"So, you did a lot of painting at the cabin.
Are you finished?" Elena asked after dinner, as she set the small tray
on one of the tables on the patio outside the dining room. Several
bottles of soft drinks: *materva, maltina,* Coca-cola and sparkling water--
absolutely nothing alcoholic--stood on the tray, as well as a few *pastelitos*
Carmela had baked for dessert, still trying to fatten Elena up. Elena
smiled and selected a bottle of *materva,* then sat down across from Cassandra.
Cassandra had been watching the fading clouds
of the sunset. She turned to Elena and answered, "Yes, I'll wrap
the paintings tomorrow, before I leave for the airport."
"Looking forward to spending Christmas with
your friends?" Elena asked, still a little surprised--though pleased--that
Cassandra had such good friends as that.
"Yes," Cassandra said, reaching for a *pastelito.*
"These last three weeks have been good for us, Elena, but somehow I feel
as though I've been here a lot longer."
"We went though a lot," Elena pointed out,
then leaned back in her chair, enjoying the lingering warmth of the day.
The light was fading fast. Soon the waxing moon would rise, silvering
the tops of the cornstalks, and the stars would come out.
Elena drank slowly, letting the dark, slightly
bitter foamy brew slide down her throat. She had plans for Christmas,
too, although not as pleasant. First, she wanted to spend a few days
in Argentina, alone, *without* another Immortal, just to prove she could.
The house was already decorated, filled at all hours with bright-eyed,
expectant children and adults who couldn't seem to stop smiling.
It was downright contagious, and cheering.
But she had to fly back to get Claude Bethel
buried once and for all, and she wanted to get it over with. She'd
miss the holiday celebration here, when everyone would come to the *Nochebuena*
feast on the twenty-fourth and the *Misa del gallo,* the Midnight Mass,
in the chapel afterward. But it couldn't be helped. She wasn't
going to celebrate this holiday or allow herself to relax until she had
resolved her problem with the Immortals, the dead Bethel and the two live
MacLeods. And where she'd been afraid before, now she found she was
ready, she was finally strong enough, and she wanted to go. No, she needed
to go.
Cassandra picked up the embroidery she'd been
working on for the last two weeks.
"I thought you hated embroidery," Elena said,
remembering that long, boring ocean crossing aboard the *Constanze.*
"I did," Cassandra said, making small, even
stitches. "I hated a lot of things."
*All right,* Elena thought, *let's go there.*
"Like Methos. And you still hate him, don't you? But you didn't
take his head when he was on his knees, helpless in front of you."
She'd wondered about this, and decided to ask now. "Why not?"
Cassandra jerked a knot tight in the thread
and said nothing.
By now Elena was used to Cassandra's silences.
She leaned back and considered her own question. The answer wasn't
because of cowardice. Elena put herself in Cassandra's place--hell,
she had been in that same place--and realized that the ancient Immortal
had finally, after three millennia, gone almost single-handedly to destroy
her worst nightmares. All four of them. Maybe hunting the Horsemen
had been the act of an insane woman, or a desperate one, or even a suicidal
one. But it had not been the act of a coward.
Or maybe Cassandra just didn't want Methos'
five-thousand-year-old Quickening. Elena could still clearly remember
Robert Trent's Quickening, how it had overpowered her, overwhelmed her,
almost like the Voice from the inside, a Dark Quickening. Maybe Cassandra
was afraid that might happen to her. Or maybe Cassandra had just
decided to be merciful. "Did you forgive him?" Elena asked, a little
surprised.
"I wanted him dead," Cassandra replied, then
snipped off the thread with her teeth. "And if someone took his head
tomorrow, I wouldn't mind at all."
"I would feel the same way, in your place,"
Elena said, finishing the last of her drink and putting the bottle down
on the table. She leaned forward again. "So why didn't you
kill him?" she persisted. "Did you stop because Duncan told you not to?"
"Duncan's wishes had nothing to do with it,"
Cassandra snapped. "He had interfered between me and Methos before,
and I wasn't about to let Duncan tell me what to do." She set her
sewing on the table. "But he did slow me down," she acknowledged, "and
I needed to take the time to think." She tried to thread the needle,
then gave up and shoved the sewing away from her. "I hadn't been
thinking much at all that last week--that last month--and I hadn't been
sleeping very well, either."
"*Las pesadillas.* Those nightmares.
Been there." The two women shared grim smiles of understanding.
"But at least ... you're not dreaming as much any more, are you?" Elena
asked. "I know I'm having fewer dreams myself."
"No," Cassandra said. "Not any more.
The talking has helped." This time the smiles they shared were ones of
success. "But back then, and with what they did to me those last
two days...." Cassandra shrugged and admitted, "I was--truly--too angry
to think straight. When Duncan stopped me and I did start to think,
I realized that both Roland and Kronos were finally dead. I could
have a new life. And I decided I was not going to start my new life
by killing someone who was helpless in front of me. I was *not* going
to be the same kind of murdering butchers they were." She picked
up her sewing again, threaded the needle and started to embroider the petal
of a flower. "I didn't do it for Duncan, and I didn't do it for Methos.
I did it for me."
Elena nodded, accepting it. "I'm glad
for you. And for him, too." Elena noticed they didn't have to spell
out who "him" was.
Cassandra leaned back in her chair and considered
Elena. "You like him, too, don't you?" she asked, then added in an
undertone, "He's good at being charming, I'll give him that."
"Yes, I do like him, although I don't trust
him completely," Elena replied.
Cassandra shook her head again, and snorted
in pitying scorn. "Trust."
"Duncan trusts him."
Cassandra snorted again, an elegant sniff
of disdain.
"And he is charming," Elena said, remembering
the man she called *viejo.* "Plus, I was always taught to respect
my elders," she added, grinning a little. Then she got serious again.
"But beyond that: Methos saved Duncan. More than once. And
for that one good deed, alone...." She stood and paced, interlacing
her fingers, then releasing them again, framing her words, trying to explain
to Cassandra how she felt about these two men.
Finally, she stood in front of Cassandra and
said, "When Duncan and I first met, it eventually became all about saving
Methos' life, the life of the oldest Immortal, because he is the oldest
of us, and also because Duncan cared about him. And still does.
And I love Duncan, Cassandra. Being with him ... he makes me feel
special. He makes me want to be better than I am, somehow.
He does the same for Methos. Simple and selfish, I know, on both
our parts."
Cassandra gave Elena an ironic look, but she
didn't say anything.
"What?" Elena asked. Cassandra
shook her head, still silent, so Elena continued, wanting to have her say
about Methos. "As for Methos--he might not have betrayed Kronos and
killed Silas by his own hand if Duncan hadn't shown up. He might
not have been able to. Duncan not only helped to save you, he helped
to save Methos, too."
"To save Methos from what?" Cassandra asked,
showing only simple curiosity now, no irony or sarcasm or disdain.
"Himself?"
"Yes," Elena said firmly. "From Death.
>From what he used to be. Can you imagine how hard it must have been for
him to go against men who had been his brothers for a *thousand* years?
Or was it two thousand?"
"One thousand," Cassandra said, brittle and
sharp. "And that was quite enough."
"One thousand, then," Elena agreed quickly,
not wanting to get into that again. "But Methos did it; he went against
his brothers. If he hadn't, Duncan would be dead, *you* would be
dead, and the Horsemen would ride again. Think about that horror
story. No," she said, shaking her head and sitting down across from
Cassandra again, leaning forward earnestly. "Methos isn't Death anymore,
Cassandra, and you obviously believe that, or you would have taken his
head when you had the chance. You wouldn't have stopped if it had
been Kronos on his knees, would you?"
Cassandra made a few more stitches, a steady
even rhythm to the needle. This time Elena waited. Finally,
Cassandra set the sewing down on her lap and looked at Elena. "Methos
gave me a chance to live when he killed Silas, and I decided to give him
a chance to live. I've wondered sometimes if I made the right decision,
but ... knowing that both you and Duncan respect him...." She said
slowly, "That helps. Some."
"Methos has changed," Elena reassured her.
"Look--Kronos didn't change, Silas was too stupid to change, Caspian was
too insane. And Roland ... well. But Methos changed.
There is a difference between him and the others, and you saw it with your
own eyes."
"I pray you're right, Elena," Cassandra replied,
leaning forward seriously, "and so should you."
Elena chuckled dryly. "I pray every
day, for a lot of things," she admitted. Sometimes Elena thought
she burdened God too much with her prayers.
"I know you didn't like listening to what
I had to say about him," Cassandra said, "and I know that at times you
didn't believe me."
"No, you're wrong," Elena corrected.
"I believe what he did then, three millennia ago. I just don't
believe that Methos *today* would enjoy ... torturing someone. Like
Be--" She paused, annoyed with herself. Even after nearly a
month of talking about him, she still couldn't say that name aloud.
Bethel. Bethel. Oh, fuck it. "Like he did," Elena said, "like
he enjoyed it."
"I'm not so sure Methos did it purely for
torture," Cassandra mused. "It was taming. I think, on some levels,
he did enjoy it--enjoyed the power and control--but inflicting pain to
break in a new slave is simply ... how it's done. Most slave-owners
did that. After enough pain, you break. You'll do anything
your master tells you to."
Elena knew *that.* She nodded.
"Once I stopped defying him," Cassandra continued,
"once I started trying to please him, he didn't hurt me anymore.
The other Horsemen would have--the way Bethel and Roland kept hurting us--but
Methos is too efficient to be a true sadist." She shrugged.
"It wasn't anything personal for him, Elena. It was just another
village to raid, just another person to kill, just another slave to break--like
getting up and going to work in the morning."
"He is a cold bastard, no question," Elena
said. A man who had lived for so long by killing others could not
be the charming innocent he pretended to be. Cassandra had confirmed
it, and Elena would have to be more careful of him, that's all.
"I know," Cassandra agreed. "And I'm
the one who gave him a chance to live." Her eyes were no longer empty,
as they had been when she first arrived. They were determined and
unstoppable. "One chance," she emphasized. "If he ever becomes
Death again, I will find a way to stop him. One way or another, he
will lose his head."
Elena closed her fist. "If Methos ever
becomes Death again, you call me," she said in an icy, deadly tone.
"I'll help you hunt him down, no mercy. And so would Duncan."
"He'd better," Cassandra muttered.
"As for Methos losing his head...."
Elena shrugged. "One way or another, *chica,* we will all lose our
heads. All but one."
Cassandra said nothing, but knotted the thread
again and bit it off.
Carmela brought a bowl of fruit, and Elena
chided her, asking her to go to bed. The two Immortals kept talking,
about this and that, about men and horses, about sex and gardening, about
all kinds of things. They talked all night long.
As the sky was beginning to lighten in the
east, Elena went into the kitchen to get a tray of fresh *cafe con leche.*
When she came back to the patio, Carmela and Juanito were there.
"What's going on?" Elena asked, putting the tray down on the table.
Carmela turned to her mistress. "We
were just wishing Senorita Cassandra a good trip, Mariaelena. And
telling her that we enjoyed having her."
"And thanking her," Juanito added, significantly.
So, even Juanito had unbent enough to accept
Cassandra. Elena smiled at them and nodded.
Cassandra said, "You have truly made me feel
welcome." Then she added, "And I now understand why your tribe was
the only one in South America the Spanish *conquistadores* were never able
to conquer."
Juanito laughed--startling Elena, who didn't
hear that very often-- and Carmela's eyes gleamed. "I see you have
your coffee then," the housekeeper said. "I'll bring you something
to eat as well."
"No, don't do that, *abuela.* I'll get
it, if we get hungry later," Elena said. "And I hope you haven't
been up all night."
"Oh, no! We mere mortals need our sleep.
Especially us old ones."
As soon as Carmela left, Raul and the brown
dog appeared. This time, even the smaller dog let Cassandra pet his
head.
Elena grinned and said, "I knew you'd win
him over, too. You've won everyone over. All my people--even
the animals--think you're wonderful."
A ghost of a sad smile flitted across Cassandra's
face. "They don't know me. Not really."
"I know you. Somewhat."
"And do you think I'm wonderful?" Cassandra
asked acerbically.
"No," Elena said, shaking her head and grinning.
"I think you're messed up. But I like you anyway."
"I feel the same way about you," Cassandra
answered, still with a hint of sharpness.
"Something else we have in common," Elena
said, amused. "Hey," she continued, suddenly remembering, "I meant
to ask you. Your fencing style reminds me of Don Alvaro, a little.
Did you ever spar with him?"
"No, but Ramirez was Alvaro's teacher, and
Ramirez and I were sparring partners for about a century, all told.
Everyone learns from each other."
Elena nodded--of course Cassandra and Ramirez
had been fencing partners at one time, therefore....
"Connor recognized some of my moves, too,"
Cassandra added as she reached for her cup.
Elena sat up in her chair abruptly, wondering
what else Cassandra hadn't told her. Elena herself had never sparred
with Connor. She hadn't quite dared, and all things considered, that
was probably a good thing. Sometimes she felt like she and Connor
were oil and water and would never--could never--be friends. "You've
sparred with Connor?" Elena asked.
"Oh, yes. Before I went after Kronos,
he was helping me. And...."
"What?" Elena asked, leaning forward, knowing
this was a good story.
Cass hesitated, then grinned. "I was
his teacher for a time, you know."
"You were!?" His teacher and his lover,
both! *!Que barbaridad!*
"Mmm. A few years after Heather died,
he came to my cottage in Donan Wood. Ramirez had been dead for fifty
years, and Connor hadn't had much chance to practice since then.
And I knew some tricks he hadn't seen."
"I just bet you did," Elena said. "And
not only with a sword, eh?"
Cassandra merely smiled at that. "Do
you want to hear about Connor's training, or not?"
Elena smirked. "I'd rather hear about
... no, yes, I would. Please go on," she said, respectfully this
time.
"The first day of training, I told him to
do this." Cassandra stood, pretended she had a sword in her hand,
and showed Elena a basic overhand stroke.
Elena said, "The Japanese call that 'bringing
down the mountain.' It's not as easy at it looks."
"No, it isn't," Cassandra agreed. "But
Connor was insulted. I believe his words were: 'I don't need a woman
to teach me such an easy stroke.'"
"Oh, of course! Typical male!" Elena
exclaimed, amused and outraged both.
"I asked him if he wanted to learn more advanced
techniques, and he said, 'I'm ready for them, and I'm ready for you.'"
Elena grinned. She was looking forward
to this. "But he wasn't."
Cassandra grinned back. "No. I
knocked him on his backside three times in a row." She sat back down
and picked up her coffee. "But, of course, that was four hundred
years ago. He's gotten much better. He knocked me down all
the time when we were sparring this last year." She shrugged.
"I think he rather enjoyed the chance to even the score."
Elena shook her head. This reinforced
her view of Connor MacLeod--smug, condescending, arrogant. "He didn't
take it easy on you, eh?" Nor would he take it easy on Elena herself, would
he? Still, she had to talk to the man. She sighed.
Cassandra snorted, and this time it was not
at all elegant or refined.
Elena said it out loud for her. "He's
such an arrogant bastard."
Cassandra set down her cup and chimed in.
"An arrogant, stubborn bastard."
"Right." Elena sat up straighter.
"An arrogant, stubborn, fucking bastard."
"Absolutely," Cassandra said, then stood to
make a toast with her coffee. "To Connor MacLeod of the clan MacLeod,
the arrogant, stubborn, fucking bastard!"
"To Connor!" Elena replied, standing to join
Cassandra. They clinked cups and drank, laughing.
"But, you know," Cassandra started as she
sat down again, "he's not really that bad."
"No," Elena admitted. "No, he's not."
Connor had been chased out of his own home by Bethel and his gunmen.
Connor had held her while she screamed in the night. Connor had protected
her, soothed her. And he had never shown, by word or deed, that he thought
less of her because of what happened to her in New York. "He saved
my life." More than once. "And I cried on his shoulder."
"So have I. And he saved my life, too,
in a way. If it hadn't been for him...." Cassandra added more
sugar to her coffee, then stirred slowly. "Duncan saved my head,
but Connor ... Connor saved my soul." She stood and lifted her cup
in another toast, a heartfelt one this time. "To Connor!"
"To Connor." Elena stood and drank with
her. When she saw Connor again, she'd tell him that she was sorry.
And grateful.
Cassandra lifted her cup again. "And
to Duncan!"
"To Duncan!" Elena agreed enthusiastically.
"He's a stubborn, arrogant, fucking bastard, too, but he's magnificent."
"Magnificent!" Cassandra chimed in.
"Fucking magnificent!" Elena proclaimed, and
took a large swallow of the hot *cafe con leche.* It burned its way
down into her stomach; much better--and safer--than the alcohol, she thought.
Cassandra echoed, "Fucking magnificent!" and
did the same.
Elena sat and slammed her cup down on the
table decisively. "And a magnificent fucker, too."
Cassandra laughed and choked on her coffee
as she took her seat, then added, "And Connor is, too."
Elena had often wondered about that.
"He is?" she asked, leaning forward, hoping Cassandra would say more.
But Cassandra murmured only, "Mmm-hmm."
Then she looked up and grinned. "*Es un come-candela.*"
"A fire-eater? In bed? Really?"
Elena was surprised. "I knew he had a temper, but I always thought
he would be cold in bed."
Cassandra stared at her. "Connor?
Cold?" She shook her head decisively. "I know he's changed
since I knew him, but he can't have changed that much. He's passionate,
warm, caring ... so gentle...." Her words trailed off, and her eyes
went distant.
Elena watched, knowing that Cassandra was
remembering something good for a change, remembering a man who had made
her heart sing. Elena had never thought Connor could do that for
a woman--for any woman. She wondered what else she could learn about Connor
from a woman's-- a lover's--point of view. Elena almost wished they
were drinking something stronger than coffee so that Cassandra would keep
talking freely.
But Cassandra was obviously already regretting
having said that much. "But don't tell Connor I said that."
"No?" Elena asked, raising her eyebrows.
This wasn't fair--to give her such ammunition, then forbid her to use it.
"I mean, not that he isn't like that," Cassandra
tried to explain, "but I don't want him to know that I told you."
"Oh. No, of course not." Elena
would never tell Connor that she knew this about him. However, she
would know. The thought filled her with a small inner joy.
"And don't tell Duncan," Cassandra added.
"No," Elena agreed. That wouldn't work
either. Too bad. Maybe she could talk to Amanda; she felt sure
that Amanda had known Connor rather intimately at some point. But
Cassandra dashed that plan to the ground, too, and stomped on it.
Cassandra leaned forward earnestly.
"Don't tell anyone."
She couldn't betray Cassandra's confidence.
Damn! "All right," Elena agreed again. "It's our secret."
She considered it for a moment, then said, in a wheedling tone, "So tell
me more. About Connor. In bed. I won't tell anyone."
"I know you won't tell," Cassandra said, "but
I don't think I should, either. I know I wouldn't want men talking
about me."
Elena knew Cassandra was doing the right thing,
but her nod was more one of frustration than of agreement.
"Do unto others," Cassandra quoted, with only
a trace of bitterness. She leaned back in her chair and reached for her
coffee again. "You know, Elena," she said decisively, "we're magnificent,
too."
"We are, aren't we?" Elena said. "Those
bastards tried their damnedest to destroy us, but they couldn't do it.
In the end, they're dead and we're alive. We're not going to let
them win. Any of them." She leaned across the table and held
up her cup yet again. "A toast, Cassandra. To us, this time."
"To us!" Cassandra said, and they toasted
each other, then leaned back in their chairs again and watched the sky
turn to blue while the ripening corn fields turned from a dull gray to
a light green. "It's beautiful here," Cassandra said, then turned to Elena.
"I wanted to thank you, Elena, for listening to me, and for making me welcome
in your home. I really needed...."
Cassandra was silent for a moment, unable
to finish her thanks. Elena finished it for her. "You needed someone
to talk to." Elena said. "You needed a confidante. So
did I. And I didn't even know it." *And yes, it is beautiful
here,* she thought. *It may be the damn crossroads of the universe
for all the Immortals in the southern hemisphere, but it's home.*
"Yes," Cassandra agreed, "we have been confidantes."
Then she added softly, "And I'd like ... for us to be friends."
Elena studied the other woman. "You
said you didn't want friends."
"I couldn't, before. Roland killed everyone
I cared about, and I wouldn't put people in such danger. So I kept
everyone away." Cassandra poured herself a new cup of coffee, then said
as she stirred in the sugar, not looking at Elena, "But I'd like to try
to be a friend to you, for there to be trust between us." Cassandra
glanced up briefly, then went back to staring at her coffee. "If
you want that from me."
Elena thought about it. Friendship between
Immortals was even more rare than the temporary truce she and Cassandra
had had. The two had connected, two people in the same sinking boat
reaching out for each other. And they'd helped each other--no question
about it. But what about afterward? How much did she trust Cassandra?
That was easy to answer: enough to let Cassandra
stay in her house, eat at her table, sleep in her bed, share her worst
fears. If Cassandra had wanted to hurt Elena, she'd had plenty of
opportunity to do so. Hell, if Elena still trusted Methos, who had
turned out to be a brutal, murdering savage, surely she could trust Cassandra!
She wanted to believe in her; she'd wanted to from the very beginning.
And from trust to friendship--how far a leap was that? For an Immortal.
Cassandra didn't wait long enough for her
to answer. "I shouldn't have asked, Elena. Never mind."
She set down her spoon and went to the edge of the patio, her back to Elena,
her arms wrapped tightly around herself.
Elena sighed. This wasn't easy, any
of it. In a way, fighting a duel where only your head was on the
line was easier than this. She stood and walked to Cassandra, wondering.
Trust was a two-way street. Did Cassandra trust her? "You don't
trust easily yourself," Elena pointed out. "Or make friends easily."
"What you and I have done together hasn't
been easy," Cassandra retorted sharply. "Has it?" At Elena's
murmured no, Cassandra took a deep breath and continued, "I'm trying to
remember how to be a friend. And I'm trying to remember how to trust,
both in myself, and in others. But you're right; it's not easy."
Elena winced inwardly. She put her hand
on Cassandra's arm and squeezed lightly. "Yes, and I betrayed your
trust, too. I'm sorry I came after you that night, Cassandra."
"You were drunk and frightened, *'manita,*"
Cassandra said, turning to her, touching her arm in return. "But
lying to someone, abandoning someone who believes in you ... That is betrayal.
You would not do that."
"No, I wouldn't." Elena smiled a little.
"Not deliberately like that." She wouldn't do that even if she were
exhausted, drunk out of her mind, and feeling persecuted. "And for
what it's worth, I would like to call you amiga, too."
"It is worth a great deal to me, amiga," Cassandra
said.
"To me also," Elena answered, embracing Cassandra,
this time getting no resistance, letting the other woman's warmth soak
into her. "God knows we can both use a friend, eh?" she said, pulling
back to look at Cassandra, but not letting go.
"Yes. We can." Cassandra smiled
then, a complete and happy smile.
Elena had never seen Cassandra smile like
this, or open up in this way. At this moment, Cassandra reminded
her a little of the animal they had both so admired, the wild stallion,
animated, spirited and free. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry so
much about Cassandra. Maybe Cassandra would be all right, after all.
"So, amiga," Elena said, stepping back, then
standing on tiptoe and stretching her arms, feeling her joints pop and
her muscles protest, "let's go riding."
"Riding?" Cassandra repeated in some surprise,
then she grinned. "Yes, let's."
The dogs followed them to the stables, dancing
around their feet and getting in the way while they saddled two mares.
Twenty minutes later, they were ready to go. Cassandra was already
mounted on Petunia, a bay mare, and Elena swung herself into her saddle.
Adelita pranced beneath her with excitement
and eagerness. After weeks of refusing to ride, Elena felt the same
way she always did on the back of a horse, wild and free. And she
knew Adelita loved to run; she wondered if the mare remembered their favorite
trick. Elena bent down over the horse's neck and urged her, "*Anda, arriba,
Adelita. !Arriba!*"
The mare didn't disappoint her, and Elena
leaned forward in her saddle, staying erect as Adelita reared up on her
hind legs and pawed at the air, whinnying loudly. Her heart racing,
Elena threw her head back and howled like a coyote as the horse came down
to four legs again, feeling at that moment like her favorite romantic hero--the
*caballero* known as Zorro.
"*!Vamonos!*" Cassandra called, as she urged
her horse to a gallop and let loose with a wild abandoned cry of her own,
her hair streaming out behind her as she rode.
Elena laughed in surprise at Cassandra's sudden
show of enthusiasm, as Adelita raced out of the stable yards and into the
wide open pampa, eager to run. She soon caught up to Cassandra, and
the two heroines rode off into the magnificent sunrise, wild and free.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elena's story is continued in
TRUST I |
Cassandra's story is continued in
KINDRED |
Write to Vi | Write to Janeen |
=====================
NOTE: This story exists in a bubble intersecting two fictional universes: Vi's Elena universe, and Janeen's Cassandra universe. There are some discrepancies between the two universes (like timelines and Connor being married to Alex and living in the Highlands in Janeen's universe, while he's unmarried and living in New York in Vi's universe), but we ignored them because it was too good of an idea to pass up. If this didn't happen, it should have.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:
Many thanks to: Alpha Reader Extraordinaire:
- Robin L. Tennenbaum, who was determined to see that we drew consistent,
true-to-life characters who packed an emotional punch. She wasn't satisfied
with anything less and made sure we weren't satisfied, either. Thanks for
hanging in there for us, Robin, even when we got snippety! You're an amazing
woman, and a good friend.
Beta Readers Wonderful:
- Bridget Mintz Testa, another good friend, who asked the hard questions
and who (through amazing conciliatory powers) was able to help bring the
personalities of two very different writers together to create a coherent
complete story.
- Julia Walter, for her steadfast and enthusiastic encouragement in this and other stories.
- Annie Wortham, who found yet more comma inconsistencies and unclear pronoun references, and helped us figure out those eternal grammar problems and those infernal grammar rules.
- Lisa Krakowa, who helped us with the horses.
===================
TRANSLATIONS:
ELENA IN THE DOJO
estancia - Argentine combination farm/ranch
!me cago en la mierda! - double damn!
viejo/a - old man/woman
otro condenao Imortal - another damn Immortal
?oigo? - hello? (telephone greeting)
?y vos? - and you?
Fiesta de Santa Maria Magdalena - Feast Day of Saint Mary Magdalene
- July 22
Sagrada Hermandad - Sacred Brotherhood of Holy Inquisitors in Spain
un momento - wait a minute
buen viaje - have a good trip
THE MEETING IN THE CHURCH
!Madre de Dios! - Mother of God!
!Sangre de Dios! - God's blood!
?por favor, donde esta? - please, where is?
CASSANDRA'S FLASHBACK TO SPAIN
Asuncion de Nuestra Senora - feast day of the Assumption of our Lady
- August 15
Caballero - gentleman or knight
asqueroso - filthy
hermano/a - brother/sister (in this case, religious brother/nun)
nino/a - boy/girl
padrecito - little father
CASSANDRA ARRIVES AT THE ESTANCIA
Bienvenida - welcome
Mi casa es tu casa - Spanish proverb for hospitality: My house is your
house
Palabra de honor - word of honor
THE DISCUSSION AFTER BREAKFAST
puta arrogante - arrogant whore
no somos nada - we are nothing
!Dios mio! - my God!
asesina loca - crazy assassin
Maria Santisima - Holy Mother
futbol - soccer
THE DISCUSSION NEAR THE STABLES
solamente cafe con leche, por favor - I only want coffee and milk,
please
?como esta Ud? - how are you?
muy bien, hombre - I'm fine, my man
yo se, chica. - I know, kid.
si, tu sabes - yes, you know.
!mentira! - lies!
beisbol - baseball
!que barbaridad! - what a horror story!
ombu - the only native tree of the Argentine plains, the pampa
pobrecito/a - poor baby
PRUNING ROSEBUSHES
*Festival de la Imaculada Concepcion de Nuestra Senora - Festival of
the Immaculate Conception of our Lady - Dec 8th.
mi vida - my dear
ELENA'S CHALLENGE
mierda - shit
cobarde - coward
veni - come here
entra, hombre - come in, man
me llamo - my name is
che - Argentine term for friend, trusted comrade
thee mou (Greek) - God help me
cojones - balls (testicles)
ELENA ATTACKING CASSANDRA AND THE APOLOGIES
!Parate, Elena! - Stop, Elena!
!Te mato, carajo! - Dammit, I'll kill you!
!Te voy a mandar al diablo! I'm going to send you to the devil!
!Elena, para tu golpe! - Elena, stop your blow, hold your hit
!No mas! !Ni uno mas! - No more! Not one more!
!Los voy a matar a todos! - I'm going to kill you all!
!Cono! - damn
Madre de Dios - Mother of God
TALKING ALL NIGHT
no hay de que - you're welcome
pastelitos - pastries
!que barbaridad! - what a horror story, or what a story!
muy bien - very good
'manita - little sister
anda, arriba - come on, get up
!vamonos! - let's go!
==========================
QUOTES
"Affliction is a treasure" is a quote from John Donne.
Dona Perfecta is the title character of a Spanish novel by Benito Perez
Galdos.
==========================
PROSTITUTION
In the American West in the 1800s, the cheapest
prostitutes worked in "hog farms" (each woman lived and worked in a small
room rather like a pen) where they serviced between 50 and 80 men a day.
- (From the book "Soiled Doves: Prostitution in the Early West" by Anne
Seagraves. )
During World War I, the German military High
Command debated forbidding soldiers to visit prostitutes because of disease,
but decided this would decrease morale and be impractical. Instead,
prostitutes were given regular health inspections and allowed to follow
the troops in caravans. Brothels with red lights on the outside were
for enlisted and NCOs; brothels with blue lights were for officers.
(In a curious coincidence, current U.S. military enlisted personnel put
red stickers on their cars, officers get blue stickers.)
In WWI, a sergeant from the medical corps
would stand outside the brothels and inspect paybooks and health certificates,
note the name and unit of each customer, supervise a brief medical inspection,
dispense prophylactic medicine and ointment (before and after each visit),
and collect a fee on the madam's behalf.
The prostitutes averaged 10 customers each
between 4 p.m. and 9 p.m. At the peak of the off-duty rush hour, 10 minutes
per man was all that was allowed before the duty sergeant bellowed out
"Next!" -(From the book "Sex in History" by Reay Tannahill.)
THE NINE MUSES
Clio - history
Erato - erotic lyric poetry
Calliope - eloquence and epic poetry
Euterpe - music and lyric poetry
Melpomene - tragedy
Polyhymnia - sacred poetry
Urania - astronomy
Terpsichore - dance
Thalia - comedy